Too damned funny

[SeaCat]

I'm sitting here watching "The Alaska Experience" on the Discovery Channel and laughing my ass off.

Talk about wimps, talk about a script.

A group of people dropped into Alaska. They are given maps to shelters with tools and food. Members of the group just can't deal.

They can't do what is needed, they can't hunt, they can't fish, they whine about the cold and the other conditions.

They have been up there for 12 days so far and the largest piece of game they have caught is a mouse.

I'm sitting here watching this show and laughing my ass off.

Cat

 

[voluptuary_manque]

That's what you get when you feature people who will do anything to be on TV. If you want folks who can live off the land, you'll have to choose among people who don't place any to high a value on the Idiot Box. After all, spending too much time watching idiots on the idiot box is liable to turn you into one.

 

[SeaCat]

Right now they haven't eaten in several days. They are saying they can't shoot the Beaver because they are Fur Bearing Animals and it's illegal to shoot them in Alaska.

Hello? I haven't eaten in several days and I have food animals in front of me. Take my ass to jail, after you rescue my ass. I'm going to eat.

Reminds me of the first showing of this program. They had several people living in a cabin. They had a rifle. There are bears all over the place, often within view. What do they do? They go up on a damned mountain looking for Mountain Goats and starving when they can't find one. Shoot the damned bear idiot.

Then again I have lived in places like this and have gone through survival training more than a few times. Might be why I haven't been chosen for a show like this.

Cat

 

[TE999]

Producers of those 'reality' shows don't want competence...they want drama and human conflict...that's what viewers want ...personally, I think those shows are lame...series like 'The Deadliest Catch' are more my speed...now that's survival.

 

[SeaCat]

Producers of those 'reality' shows don't want competence...they want drama and human conflict...that's what viewers want ...personally, I think those shows are lame...series like 'The Deadliest Catch' are more my speed...now that's survival.

This might be why I don't watch survivor. I watched part of the first show and started laughing.

I have sent a letter to the Discovery Channel about this. I told them to drop me in the back woods wearing a single set of clothes and supplied with a basic kit and tape me. They haven't responded.

Cat

 

[voluptuary_manque]

This might be why I don't watch survivor. I watched part of the first show and started laughing.

I have sent a letter to the Discovery Channel about this. I told them to drop me in the back woods wearing a single set of clothes and supplied with a basic kit and tape me. They haven't responded.

Cat

I figured they wouldn't answer me so I didn't even write. Thanx for confirming my suspicions.

 

[TE999]

This might be why I don't watch survivor. I watched part of the first show and started laughing.

I have sent a letter to the Discovery Channel about this. I told them to drop me in the back woods wearing a single set of clothes and supplied with a basic kit and tape me. They haven't responded.

Cat

Don't quit your day job, they won't call.

What is really lame about these shows is the participants are supposed to be out in the middle of nowhere and actually there are all these camera operators running around taping their every move...plus a small city of techs, medics, etc. over the next hill in case someone gets a boo-boo. Phooey.

 

[slyc_willie]

Don't quit your day job, they won't call.

What is really lame about these shows is the participants are supposed to be out in the middle of nowhere and actually there are all these camera operators running around taping their every move...plus a small city of techs, medics, etc. over the next hill in case someone gets a boo-boo. Phooey.

That's why I like Survivorman. It's just him for seven days, no backup.

Forget that whacko on Man vs. Wild.

 

[DesertPirate]

Producers of those 'reality' shows don't want competence...they want drama and human conflict...that's what viewers want ...personally, I think those shows are lame...series like 'The Deadliest Catch' are more my speed...now that's survival.

Gee guess I was right, told one of the daughters they looked for the whiniest wimps around

 

[Handley_Page]

Incidentally, how DO you cook Bear or Beaver ?
I guess that you could eat the liver, raw but, as I've never had to do a cold survivor course, I'd find it tricky myself.
I'd need a few lessons from someone like Bear Grills before I went.

 

[oggbashan]

Incidentally, how DO you cook Bear or Beaver ?
I guess that you could eat the liver, raw but, as I've never had to do a cold survivor course, I'd find it tricky myself.
I'd need a few lessons from someone like Bear Grills before I went.

DO NOT EAT BEAR LIVER! This is why

Learn how to make fire from available materials.

Og

 

[Vermilion]

Incidentally, how DO you cook Bear or Beaver ?
I guess that you could eat the liver, raw but, as I've never had to do a cold survivor course, I'd find it tricky myself.
I'd need a few lessons from someone like Bear Grills before I went.

Just char the haunches till they're cooked - you're looking to survive here, right? Not create a gourmet meal for two

 

[oggbashan]

Recently my wife was at a women's group meeting discussing what music they would take on a desert island like Desert Island Discs.

One of the questions they were asked was "Who would you like to take with you?"

Some of the answers included actors and pop stars. My wife stunned the group by announcing that she would take me. The group were startled into silence.

Eventually one of them asked "Why?"

My wife replied that she wanted me because of my practised survival skills. I would provide food, shelter and fire (and intelligent company).

That's quite a tribute after 37 years of marriage. Of course, in the same situation I'd take her.

Since then several of her friends have made a point of talking to me as well as her whenever we meet.

Og

 

[carrie-on]

I've said for ages that they need to have a Survivor where they get dumped off in the middle of the Wildlife Refuge down the road in the middle of winter. They would never make it out there! I'm sure one of the reasons why is because they couldn't show off the girls in bikinis!

 

[Stella_Omega]

The producers very carefully pick people without survival skills. If an applicant shows any knowledge, they don't get hired. "My Side Of The Mountain" is a half a century behind us.

This is Entertainment For The New Millennium, and it's a damn disgrace.

 

[R. Richard]

DO NOT EAT BEAR LIVER! This is why

Learn how to make fire from available materials.

Og

Nor wolf liver, it's poison.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

This might be why I don't watch survivor. I watched part of the first show and started laughing.

I have sent a letter to the Discovery Channel about this. I told them to drop me in the back woods wearing a single set of clothes and supplied with a basic kit and tape me. They haven't responded.

Cat

"On the next episode of Sea Cat: Wilderness Survival, Cat is...uh, making a twelve course meal...."

 

[Vermilion]

"On the next episode of Sea Cat: Wilderness Survival, Cat is...uh, making a twelve course meal...."

BWAH HAH HAH - love this :-D

"On the next episode of Sea Cat: Wilderness Survival, Cat is...uh, making a twelve course meal....followed by a joy ride on his drift-wood motorcycle"

 

[OhMissScarlett]

BWAH HAH HAH - love this :-D

"On the next episode of Sea Cat: Wilderness Survival, Cat is...uh, making a twelve course meal....followed by a joy ride on his drift-wood motorcycle"

LMAO. Rad, I bet it will even have a sidecar for his pet wolf.

 

[JagFarlane]

That's why I like Survivorman. It's just him for seven days, no backup.

Forget that whacko on Man vs. Wild.

agreed

Didn't it get found out that he was staying in hotels during the nights he was supposed to be "roughing it" anyways?

 

[Liar]

Nor wolf liver, it's poison.

I never understood why anyone would want to eat liver. Isn't it the filter where all the bad stuff gets stuck?

 

[R. Richard]

I never understood why anyone would want to eat liver. Isn't it the filter where all the bad stuff gets stuck?

The liver actually performs a great many functions. Read here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liver

 

[SlickTony]

Now, is it just polar bear livers that are stuffed with Vitamin A, or is it all bears?