Too big :(

[renthead29]

I'll be honest, and i'm not trying to sound like a douche bag by asking this question. Neither my girlfriend or I have ever had sex. We've had a lot of mutual masturbation with each other, but tonight we decided to go for it.

Turns out...i'm too big.

Is there anything I can do to help us both out? I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to just give up. I have 2 weeks until she comes back from her trip...3 if i'm unlucky, so any answers i get in that amount of time would be greatly appreciated.

~Renthead29

 

[Ausus_girl13]

What do you mean by too big? Too wide (which is fixable and fun) or too long? (also fixable and fun)

 

[renthead29]

I'm only 6 inches long, but i'm really thick...

 

[Ausus_girl13]

No worries!
Rent, darling it is time to invest in some great Lube! You will need it. Go to a local reputable sex store talk to the staff, and learn about all the different kinds of lubrication that is out there. Or take your girl and work on it together. Then, when you have it and you're ready...
You are going to have to indulge in a lot of foreplay. I mean, your girl is going to have to be very wet and very relaxed in order for you to enter her, and before you do add some lube, cause you will need it. Then just go slow.
And have fun mixing up the positions, if she is on top she can control how far you enter her. Other positions put her hips and vagina (horribly clinical right?) in a different line, so she will have different sensations in all of them.
So think, lube, foreplay, different positions. And that should work. Have fun!

 

[renthead29]

lol thanks...i'll talk to her about it when she gets back!

 

[Ausus_girl13]

Good luck!

 

[SimonBrooke]

I'm only 6 inches long, but i'm really thick...

Go slow, go gentle, take your time, use plenty of foreplay. Make her come at least a couple of times before you go into her (if you don't know how to make her come, she probably does). Use your tongue, she probably hasn't had a lot of that yet. But don't worry, you're certainly not too big. She's too tense. Two orgasms and perhaps a couple of glasses of wine will sort that. She's big enough for a baby's head to come out of, so she's certainly big enough for your cock to go into.

 

[infinity706]

What do you mean by too big? Too wide (which is fixable and fun) or too long? (also fixable and fun)

Well, depending on how wide, it might not be fixable. I've had a couple cocks that were so thick there was no way they could physically fit in my ass. I couldn't completely wrap my hand around them and I had to keep my mouth all the way open the whole time to actually get them in, despite being a pretty large guy. I've only seen 2 in the hundreds of guys I've had, but if he is about as big as a soda can, like them, it might require some adaptation. I'm sure there'd still be plenty of fun to be had, though. It's just a bit annoying to not be able to use all my best moves.

 

[Ausus_girl13]

True, I of course did not think of anal right off. My apologies. but if he is that thick, then he can begin to get her used to the girth at least, anally, with plugs.

 

[SweetErika]

True, I of course did not think of anal right off. My apologies. but if he is that thick, then he can begin to get her used to the girth at least, anally, with plugs.

Even vaginally, there's a limit to what's pleasurable, or even tolerable, for most women. Like fisting, can it be worked on over time? Sure, but extreme size often takes all the spontaneity out of the equation and when sex is painful multiple times, pain usually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, for most people, soda can thickness is usually not as fun and easy to overcome as you suggest.

 

[Ausus_girl13]

So, for most people, soda can thickness is usually not as fun and easy to overcome as you suggest.

True, but at this point they don't know if this is something that they cannot overcome, and think of all the fun they can have getting to the point where it works or it doesn't. At this point, and they just started, there is no way to know what will work for them.

 

[SimonBrooke]

Well, depending on how wide, it might not be fixable. I've had a couple cocks that were so thick there was no way they could physically fit in my ass.

Even vaginally, there's a limit to what's pleasurable, or even tolerable, for most women. Like fisting, can it be worked on over time? Sure, but extreme size often takes all the spontaneity out of the equation and when sex is painful multiple times, pain usually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, for most people, soda can thickness is usually not as fun and easy to overcome as you suggest.

Hey, guys, stop giving the boy nightmares. He's never had sex at all, he said so. Neither has his girl. We're not talking anal, we're talking first time - double first time, which is more difficult because neither of them has experience. Yes, OK, there may be exceptionally rare cases where the guy is so big that it's not fixable, but it's a 99.999% chance that this is just a matter of him being too eager and her being too tense.

So cool it. He does not need to hear horror stories. He does not need to be made any more anxious than he is.

Renthead, seriously, unless your cock is bigger round than a baby's skull, it will go in, if she's relaxed enough and ready enough and you are patient enough. Some wine may help - a glass for you, three of four for her. Some lube may help. But what really matters is foreplay, and more foreplay, and more foreplay. Get yourself somewhere warm and private where you're not going to be interrupted, and when neither of you need to be anywhere else for several hours. Take it very slow. It will be fine.

And - enjoy it. In my experience deflowering a virgin is a wonderful, precious thing, and you only get to do this with her once.

 

[infinity706]

Hey, guys, stop giving the boy nightmares. He's never had sex at all, he said so. Neither has his girl. We're not talking anal, we're talking first time - double first time, which is more difficult because neither of them has experience. Yes, OK, there may be exceptionally rare cases where the guy is so big that it's not fixable, but it's a 99.999% chance that this is just a matter of him being too eager and her being too tense.

So cool it. He does not need to hear horror stories. He does not need to be made any more anxious than he is.

Renthead, seriously, unless your cock is bigger round than a baby's skull, it will go in, if she's relaxed enough and ready enough and you are patient enough. Some wine may help - a glass for you, three of four for her. Some lube may help. But what really matters is foreplay, and more foreplay, and more foreplay. Get yourself somewhere warm and private where you're not going to be interrupted, and when neither of you need to be anywhere else for several hours. Take it very slow. It will be fine.

And - enjoy it. In my experience deflowering a virgin is a wonderful, precious thing, and you only get to do this with her once.

Well, I'd say it's actually closer to about 1 in 100 or so, chance, acutally. It also wasn't a horror story. One of the mega dicked guys was actually one of the best I've ever had, despite having to work around the massive size. Sure, I would have preferred if he weren't hung like a can of Pringles, but he certainly gave one hell of a blowjob in additon to other things.

I think you're probably right. I just wanted to mention that there is a small chance of a cock so big that it can cause problems.

As for the virgin thing, I have to disagree, though. Deflowering a virgin has never been wonderful in all the times I've done it. It's just one of those things that everyone has to go through before they get better.

 

[CristinaRobo]

...unless your cock is bigger round than a baby's skull, it will go in, if she's relaxed enough and ready enough and you are patient enough.

Very true, though I'm not sure I'm willing to have a baby on a daily basis.

 

[BillBaloney]

Main thing with my squeeze is that I am not too big, she is very tight and small. I often wondered as to why there was a tube of KY jelly at the ready with her. It took several nights of poking, before she relaxed enough such that the tube was not needed.

Bill

 

[renthead29]

Wow...thanks for all of the input everyone. I'll try to answer each of them.

I'm not soda can big. i'll get that out of the way first.

Thank you Simon, bringing things back around to where they should be.

Umm...the wine thing might be hard to fulfill: I'm 18...kind of hard to get ahold of.

No there is no anal...i don't think it's going to happen. I'm not too keen on that idea.

Whether or not it's a beautiful, sweet thing, she and I are ready for this, and even if it's not, it will get there. I've never been so comfortable with anyone, and I love her, and I'm ready for her as she is for me. I just want it to work.

Thanks for all the suggestions!

~Renthead

 

[Bystander]

your two words are easy lube......ie use tons of lube and go easy. Use your fingers first, start with one, then two, work the opening slowly. Make sure her legs are spread, she's got a cushion under her hips to raise them, etc etc. Rule of thumb is that for a girl the first time is usually not the best as it will usually hurt no matter what you do so the best thing a guy can do is go hardcore on the foreplay so she still has a good time. The women here might be able to better enlighten you on that aspect though.

 

[SimonBrooke]

Rule of thumb is that for a girl the first time is usually not the best as it will usually hurt no matter what you do.

It is not inevitable that it will hurt. It may be inevitable with some women, I don't know, but certainly not for all. But if you are gentle enough and get her turned on enough, it may be good for her too. And that's worth working for.

 

[viper2000]

A nice relaxation technique would be to give her a vagina massage make it a part of the foreplay. Btw a vagina massage entails massaging around the vagina and thighs and legs an so fourth dont rush im sure you knw but just to be certain.

 

[temp256]

I'm surprised no one suggested gradual dilation with a series of dildos of increasing size. It would certainly make things easier for her, if you don't mind the extra time.

 

[vrosej10]

I'll be honest, and i'm not trying to sound like a douche bag by asking this question. Neither my girlfriend or I have ever had sex. We've had a lot of mutual masturbation with each other, but tonight we decided to go for it.

Turns out...i'm too big.

Is there anything I can do to help us both out? I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to just give up. I have 2 weeks until she comes back from her trip...3 if i'm unlucky, so any answers i get in that amount of time would be greatly appreciated.

~Renthead29

Most guys think it's such hot shit to have a biggun. I had a former partner that was so big, I just didn't want to see the damn thing a lot of the time.

 

[PertPerth]

I'm surprised no one suggested gradual dilation with a series of dildos of increasing size. It would certainly make things easier for her, if you don't mind the extra time.

Agreed, and silicone lube.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Hey, guys, stop giving the boy nightmares. He's never had sex at all, he said so. Neither has his girl. We're not talking anal, we're talking first time - double first time, which is more difficult because neither of them has experience. Yes, OK, there may be exceptionally rare cases where the guy is so big that it's not fixable, but it's a 99.999% chance that this is just a matter of him being too eager and her being too tense.

So cool it. He does not need to hear horror stories. He does not need to be made any more anxious than he is.

Renthead, seriously, unless your cock is bigger round than a baby's skull, it will go in, if she's relaxed enough and ready enough and you are patient enough. Some wine may help - a glass for you, three of four for her. Some lube may help. But what really matters is foreplay, and more foreplay, and more foreplay. Get yourself somewhere warm and private where you're not going to be interrupted, and when neither of you need to be anywhere else for several hours. Take it very slow. It will be fine.

And - enjoy it. In my experience deflowering a virgin is a wonderful, precious thing, and you only get to do this with her once.

Excellent post from Simon.

Get some lube and ensure it's condom safe as not every kind is. Also be aware that condoms can dry some girls up and the most common reason for condoms tearing is lack of lubrication. If your girl is not on a hormonal contraceptive you should make sure she does so as it only takes one split condom to make you a dad. As you have some time apart, it would be great if she could go see her Dr now, because hormonal BC takes a few days to build up to a safe level in her system. Read the label carefully and keep in mind that some other meds like antibiotics reduce the effectiveness of hormonal BC.

Gently working a couple of lubricated fingers into her while giving her plenty of clitoral stimulation should be enough of a warm up if you're both relaxed. A guy I know says he developed his pussy eating technique by drawing the letters of the alphabet with his tongue and repeating the letter shapes that got a positive response. Encourage her to give you lots of feedback on what feels good and remind her not to be afraid of saying that something isn't working.

Another tip you can try is to lube up your cockhead and just play around her pussylips with it, pushing gently in and out of the folds and rubbing it over her clit. This way, she won't know the precise moment you're going to put more force behind it and enter her, so she's less likely to tense up and keep you out.

Are you sure you don't know someone who can supply you with a little alcohol? I do think that a couple of drinks would help you both.

There is such a thing as vaginismus, where a woman develops a reflex that makes intercourse difficult or not possible. This is also sometimes a psychological thing stemming from a bad past experience. It's very unlikely your girl has it but if everything else fails, it might be worth encouraging her to get a check up.

 

[Ausus_girl13]

Excellent post from Simon.
. As you have some time apart, it would be great if she could go see her Dr now, because hormonal BC takes a few days to build up to a safe level in her system. Read the label carefully and keep in mind that some other meds like antibiotics reduce the effectiveness of hormonal BC.

.

Great point velvet! I would also throw some love out to "the morning after pill"! You can take it up to 72 hrs after unprotected sex and it will still work. It is not an abortion pill, it works like a very heavy dose of regular birth control. You can buy it over the counter at most pharmacy's and Planned parenthood or other clinics. It is worth it to have some on hand just in case the condom does
break.

 

[phelon]

since your already looking at some extra effort and you might ask her ahead of time if her hymen is intact. if it is, you may wish to remove this in a seperate session with a toy.
alternatively have her see her doctor and have it done medically so its not an issue during sex nor will it cause her any pain to make bad mental associations...