Toasts

[china-doll]

No, not burned bread, I mean drinking toasts.

An older Irish guy I used to work with used to say this one and it stuck with me for years. I was just reminded of it today:

Here's to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint-- and another one!

Anyone else have a good one?

 

[SeaCat]

May you live as long as you love, and may you love as long as you live.

Cat

 

[Guest]

over the lips and through the gums
watch out stomach
here it comes

*this can be applied to ...oooooo...so many things*

 

[BlackShanglan]

Here's to the lass
Let the toast pass
I warrant she'll prove an excuse for a glass ...

(Thanks to Sheridan.)

 

[blackhaus7]

Here's to your eyes;
Here's to your thighs;
Our eyes have met;
Our thighs not yet;
Here's to hope.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Make mine wheat, with butter and strawberry jam.

 

[oggbashan]

1940s etiquette book:

Here's a health to all those that we love.
Here's a health to all those that love us.
Here's a health to all those that love them that love those that love them that love those that love us. (Try that after a few drinks!)

May we kiss those we please, and please those we kiss.

Typical specimen of toasts:

For a gentlemen's birthday party. (Og's note. It is to be assumed that the Ladies have retired for sherry and cakes elsewhere.)

Gentlemen, - For some reason or other several of you have conspired to force on me the duty of proposing the toast of the evening. My natural modesty would prevent me assuming such prominence of my own accord; but since you wish it, and since the duty itselef is one that is in itself a pleasure and an honour, I will endeavour to overcome my diffidence. I despair, however, of doing my subject justice. Of what use is it for me to attempt to enumerate the sterling qualities of him in whose honour this little gathering is held? He is the very old friend of all of us, I think; and for myself, I can say that I value his friendship as my most precious possession. My high opinion of him is shared by all with whom he has come in contact, both in public and in private life - of that I am sure. We have evidence of it in his popularity and prominence in all our local affairs. His generous hospitality is proverbial, and he is an ever-ready friend in need. No words of mine, as I say, can do him justice; and in any case, his praise is superfluous at a gathering like this. So I will come to the point, ask you to fill your glasses and drink Mr.-----'s very good health, wishing him "Many happy returns of the day!"

Og

 

[Guest]

Beer Drinkers Prayer:

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as it is in the pub.
Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers. For thine is The beer, The bitter, The lager.
Forever and ever,
Barmen.

Source: Anon

 

[impressive]

Give us this day our foamy head

*this can be applied to ...oooooo...so many things*

May we kiss those we please, and please those we kiss.

Amen!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

To our wives and our lovers....

...and may they never meet.​