TabooTeller
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2003
- Posts
- 147
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=118299
It got posted and I found it.
Some story, if you haven't read the others some of this may not make sense. I will add here that in the confussed "OKay I created A Monster" thread I said that some of the stories here are good tales that have sex in them. This story and the other Pat And Mike ones are some of those. There are good stories worth reading that just happen to include sex. I think this one is pretty much well written too.
As I read the beginning I said, Cancer!!?? A pace maker?!
Nice ending where the died together though. Good use of flashbacks. Over all goodly written and a nice story even with them dying. Humorous touch there where their daughter saw them "parking". A nice touch I think. I assume the other stories that are coming will take place before this one so that takes some of the sting from them dying so soon. We know what happens to them in the end but we also know there is a lot more for them to do before that end. Speaking of when the next one happens, of course a story or two of about them after their deaths where they are fighting supernatural bad guys could be interesting.
So far no real criticisms, one or two more sex scenes could be good, such as a replay of their first sex session, but that's a very minor point. Of course as I digests this story I might come up with more comments. Which might include criticisms
Anyway what I want to say is that, after thinking about it, I am disappointed that Patricia didn't say how Linda was killed. And for that matter that she was killed at all. Also were all their friends killed or did it just seem that way? But that wasn't something greatly important. It would have just added to the story. Nice touch with Lora.
TabooTeller
And BTW I will put this on the Story Feedback forum but not right now, I can't get logged on. I will try again later. And I can add an extra comment reminding any readers of the nice things I said about your writing on another thread. I believe it was the "OKay I Created a Monster" thread. My second post on that one.
DC
It got posted and I found it.
Some story, if you haven't read the others some of this may not make sense. I will add here that in the confussed "OKay I created A Monster" thread I said that some of the stories here are good tales that have sex in them. This story and the other Pat And Mike ones are some of those. There are good stories worth reading that just happen to include sex. I think this one is pretty much well written too.
As I read the beginning I said, Cancer!!?? A pace maker?!
Nice ending where the died together though. Good use of flashbacks. Over all goodly written and a nice story even with them dying. Humorous touch there where their daughter saw them "parking". A nice touch I think. I assume the other stories that are coming will take place before this one so that takes some of the sting from them dying so soon. We know what happens to them in the end but we also know there is a lot more for them to do before that end. Speaking of when the next one happens, of course a story or two of about them after their deaths where they are fighting supernatural bad guys could be interesting.
So far no real criticisms, one or two more sex scenes could be good, such as a replay of their first sex session, but that's a very minor point. Of course as I digests this story I might come up with more comments. Which might include criticisms
Anyway what I want to say is that, after thinking about it, I am disappointed that Patricia didn't say how Linda was killed. And for that matter that she was killed at all. Also were all their friends killed or did it just seem that way? But that wasn't something greatly important. It would have just added to the story. Nice touch with Lora.
TabooTeller
And BTW I will put this on the Story Feedback forum but not right now, I can't get logged on. I will try again later. And I can add an extra comment reminding any readers of the nice things I said about your writing on another thread. I believe it was the "OKay I Created a Monster" thread. My second post on that one.
DC
