To makers of small-town TV commercials

[sr71plt]

The ones that get me down here are the lawyer ads with their testimonials.

Victim: I was broadsided by a delivery van and broke two fingers and injured my back. I sued for pain and suffering.

Lawyer: I got her $42,076.42! I'm Jim Adler, the Texas Hammer!

Of course, what he doesn't say is that the judgment was for $100,000 . . . .

Oh, God, yes. I particularly hate the one saying he's there to help folks skip out on their taxes. (I guess so that they can feed off me.)

 

[slyc_willie]

Oh, God, yes. I particularly hate the one saying he's there to help folks skip out on their taxes. (I guess so that they can feed off me.)

Yep, lots of that around here, too. All part of the "why work for a living when you can sue/cheat the system?"

There are a lot of things I like about Texas, and a lot I don't . . . .

 

[sutherngent985]

Hey even big towns have weird/sucky commercials. If I never have to see another commercial for Cal Worthington and his fucking dog Spot again, I will be a happy woman!

(BTW, Spot is never really a dog. The best one was when Spot was a tiger and it started chasing his ass around the car! )

I used to live in Phoenix and loved the Cal Worthington commercials just to see what he would come up with next.

 

[Guest]

Been there, wrote, directed, and produced waaaay too many of those.

I always cringed when a business owner in a small town (or even a mid-sized one) insisted on being in his/her own radio or TV spot. It's strictly a vanity issue--they LOVE hearing, "Hey, I heard you on the radio," or, "I saw you on TV." Of course, the only people they hear that from are the ones who already know them; nobody else cares, and owners are hardly ever effective spokepeople for their businesses. They fall into two classes--the ones who are totally over the top, and the ones who can't inflect well enough to keep a listener interested (i.e., are boring but don't know it).

Plus, most of 'em just don't talk so good. I once spent several minutes carefully sounding out the difference between "hundred" and "hunerd" for a store owner who absolutely couldn't tell what he was saying.

And gods help you if they write their own scripts--they have absolutely no understanding of how to time a 30- or 60-second spot properly. Their solution is to put way too much information into the script and then talk REALLY, REALLY FAST!

And don't get me started on "cute..."

 

[oggbashan]

How about this one?

They are always poking fun at themselves: http://www.jaguarhomecarpeting.co.uk/index.html

Have a look at their adverts, including 2007.

Og

 

[TheeGoatPig]

My mother knows this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TVtGftB640

 

[cloudy]

One of my all-time favorites, from Florida's Tire Kingdom. Disclaimer, I have done consulting work for the Tire King, who wrote and starred in his commercials.

We have the Mattress King here who bangs on the inside of your tv screen.

Seriously annoying.

 

[shereads]

I do radio commercials in my town. Ever tried to make goat cheese sound exciting?

Worse: yogurt.

 

[shereads]

Been there, wrote, directed, and produced waaaay too many of those.

Sincere condolences from a fellow copywriter...Truth is, there are few commercials so awful that I can't remember having to do one that was slightly worse.

Thought: is there a special Star In Your Own TV Commercial school where business owners are taught to emphasize each sentence with a robotic hand gesture that is never seen in any other context?

Nightmarish memory: I had a client in Houston who made us use his trophy wife in TV commercials. She had show-business aspirations. Think Pia Zadora without the gravitas.

 

[DesertPirate]

Growing up in NM I remember the 70's when we got cable, first thing I saw from CA was a Cal Worthington commercial.
Still some of the funniest ones ever

 

[midwestyankee]

Think Pia Zadora without the gravitas.

Yikes!

 

[glynndah]

There was a local one for some guy who sold cars or furniture (I think they're all for either cars or furniture) who insisted on using his children. They were the ugliest little girls I've ever seen -- reminiscent of orangutans in frilly dresses -- and totally talentless. I remember them tap dancing once. *shudder*

 

[Edward Teach]

Harry Pavilack (http://www.pavilacklaw.com) is a lawyer in Myrtle Beach, SC who advertises on bill boards, radio and TV. One of his TV ads has an accident victim lying on the side of the road who looks up and calls out, "Call Harry Pavilack. Call an ambulance." Honest.

One of our family jokes about a lawyer friend is: "He's no Harry Pavilack, but he's pretty damn good."

 

[Misty_Morning]

Aw, but those things are so darn catchy*!

Lookie, lookie, lookie!
Here comes Cookie!
Cook's... PEST CONTROL!


Yay!!!






*adj: having the quality of planting root in your brain and refusing to gtfo.

Damn. It has been years since I heard that diddy.

Thanks.

Now I can't get it of my head.

*sigh*

 

[Edward Teach]

Sincere condolences from a fellow copywriter...Truth is, there are few commercials so awful that I can't remember having to do one that was slightly worse.

Thought: is there a special Star In Your Own TV Commercial school where business owners are taught to emphasize each sentence with a robotic hand gesture that is never seen in any other context?

Nightmarish memory: I had a client in Houston who made us use his trophy wife in TV commercials. She had show-business aspirations. Think Pia Zadora without the gravitas.

A couple of car dealers here seem to think that the young thing that all the salesmen are trying to bang who files invoices in accounts payable is soooo hot that she needs to be in their commercials. Nothing like a twenty-two year old in a too tight sweater, squinting into the sun, speaking in a redneck southern accent (there is a difference) inviting you to "come on dayun far the best deyul in tayun."

 

[TheeGoatPig]

There was a local one for some guy who sold cars or furniture (I think they're all for either cars or furniture) who insisted on using his children. They were the ugliest little girls I've ever seen -- reminiscent of orangutans in frilly dresses -- and totally talentless. I remember them tap dancing once. *shudder*

We have the daughters in the car dealership ads over here too. They are really annoying, although they aren't that bad looking. I'm glad that the older one is off to college and not in the ads anymore though

A couple of car dealers here seem to think that the young thing that all the salesmen are trying to bang who files invoices in accounts payable is soooo hot that she needs to be in their commercials. Nothing like a twenty-two year old in a too tight sweater, squinting into the sun, speaking in a redneck southern accent (there is a difference) inviting you to "come on dayun far the best deyul in tayun."

The computer store here used to put one of their employees in every commercial, but she was just large ugly and annoying. And then she was arrested for cooking the books...

 

[Guest]

Thought: is there a special Star In Your Own TV Commercial school where business owners are taught to emphasize each sentence with a robotic hand gesture that is never seen in any other context?

Generally, it's a holdover from watching people doing "The Robot" dance moves on TV and thinking, "That looks cool. I could do that."

However, I understand that it's also a popular elective in business school nowadays.