To Bash, Or Not To Bash (An Open Romance)

[TheDeathClown]

(OCC: For rvplymates and I)

The trouble with bashing women creatures in the head, as a dating practice, was that once you bashed them, they just kind of lay there. Smells Like Dung had tried using a smaller club, and a longer club and even a freshly caught fish. They all had the same effect. Dung knew that his own Dad had gotten his Mom with a little flint number, but there just had to be a better way.

Sometimes Dung was too distracted by women creatures to do his work. He found himself staring at their big, round asses, chewing the leaves of the "crazy making plant". Sometimes he was to busy to yank the hairs out of his ears; because he was too busy staring at their brown boobs bouncing as they washed cloths. It was hard not to stare, with the water from The Big Water splashing up on their moving milk bags.

The Big Water was lapping gently against Dung's legs, as he sat thinking about the dilemma. The Big Water was always a good place to think. You could sit and look out over it, trying to see if you might catch a glimpse of the other side.. You could grab at fish that tried to eat your toes. You could eat any leeches that latched onto your legs. You could even go in for a swim. Today the water wasn't helping.

All of a sudden, Dung had an idea. He knew that he and the other men folk didn't talk much. They just hunted and hit each other with clubs and rocks. Most of his Dung's friends like to play football (where you kicked your friends’ balls with your feet). This was different from the women creatures. They hugged, and groomed each other.

The women creatures were always making clothing out of hides and cooking and talking. They didn't understand the fine art of sitting near a fire, scratching one's crotch and picking fleas out of one's beard. Somehow, he needed to learn to talk; to talk to women creatures!

Dung decided that he needed to find a woman creature to help him. He grabbed his club. There would probably be bashing involved. The women creatures were always running away from him. If he was lucky, one might get close enough to hit in the head, and then carry off some place that she could teach him to make his noises into words.

 

[rvplymates]

Jabber crouched by the water washing her clothing. For the standards of her people she was a little too clean but they accepted that as Jabber had taught them to talk instead of grunting. She had names for everything and past them onto her people. Bashing had stopped once men and women caught talk and for this she was well cared for.

She had come on a hunting trip many stones from her home with her Father and ten brothers. They had gone off to hunt 10 stones ago and Jabber was worried. Every morning she would add another stone to the line up. She knew 3 stones was usually the amount of time needed to find the food. They were late coming back to her.

She had washed their clothing while they were away. Her men did as she wanted them to do. It was true she wanted them to bath every day but twice a week was pretty good for men. She had cut off the hair from their face with a sharpened bone on one edge. Much better then crawling creatures on their bodies and then had taught them the words she had created so they could talk to the woman instead of bashing them.

She had plenty of fish for eating while she waited and a hiding place behind the waterfalls in case creatures came. She had already eaten, washed her clothing put on fresh clothing that she had brought with her and was washing the clothing she had on when a snap of a branch brought her attention to a huge man walking toward her with a club. He was not of her people and as he got closer the stench was unbelievable. She stood up, her 5' 2" frame standing proud and purposeful. Her long wavy thick blond hair cascaded around her shoulders and back. Her crystal blue eyes watched the man closely. He was not stopping the basher held tight in his hand. She held her arm straight out, palm up and yelled

"NO"

He stopped for a moment and then kept moving toward her the basher thing raised. She stepped into the water and he kept coming. By the time he had reached the water and she had reached the area where the water dropped off and wadded up a bit more. The man not knowing what was going to happen walked out and found himself under water. He did not swim. Jabber saw him hit the bottom like a stone. When he stopped moving she dived and grabbed him.

He was light in the water but on the land he was heavy. She pressed his chest several time and water came from him. He did not wake up. She held her nose he still smelled. She quickly undressed him. Stopping to look at his hug man thing, none of her brothers or Father had such a one as his. She got out her cleaning leafs and washed him from head to foot. Turned him over and did the same again. Even with all that moving he held onto his bashing thing. She let him dry in the sun while she pried his fingers off of the bashing thing and hid it inside a log. Looking at him once more she covered him with skins and took out her cutting thing and began to take the hair from his face. She was good at what she did; after all she had ten brothers and a Father to practice on. When his face was clean, she smiled. He looked good to her. She sat by him waiting for him to wake up.

 

[TheDeathClown]

Where My Basher?

Dung woke slowly. The sun was beating down on him. He lay for a moment, unsure of where he was or what had happened. As he came fully awake, he realized that he was lying on stone, instead of his normal grass bed, and that his normal coverings were only lying on top of him, instead of rapped around him. As he took a deep breath, and tried to sit up, his chest ached. He suddenly remembered the woman creature with the straw colored hair. He had fallen in a hidden hole! Suddenly, he realized his basher was missing! Dung leapt up into a crouch and looked around frantically. His basher was no where to be found, but the same woman creature was sitting beside him. He stared at her and grunted questioningly, then backed up, looking above his head. This felt like a trap and he didn’t have his basher. He suddenly realized that he as no longer covered, so grabbed on of the skins that had been laid over him and threw it around his waist.

OCC: sorry for the long delay. my internet was down.

 

[rvplymates]

When the man woke up he acted funny, Jabber watched him jump up and crouch looking for something. What was he looking for. She looked at his man thing again as he moved it seemed to swing. She laughed at his movements. He covered his man thing and keeped looking at the tall green things. What was he looking for.



OOC: That is alright, rl before rp.

 

[TheDeathClown]

Dung wasn't sure where his basher was. He stared at the woman thing questioningly. If there were only some way to make her understand! He started to mime smashing a wild pig with his basher. He beat the air with his invisable basher.

 

[rvplymates]

Jabber shook her head like she did not know where the basher was. She thought he would bash her, she patted the ground next to her and when he sat down. She pressed her hand to her chest.

"Jabber"

Then pressed her hand to his. When he did not answer. She pressed her hand to her chest again.

"Jabber"

This went on for a while. She wanted him to understand Jabber was her name.

 

[TheDeathClown]

Dung thought that she was indeed a strange sort of woman creature. He knew that some women creatures made funny noises amongst themselves. He knew that they understood what those noises meant. What he couldn't understand was why she wanted him to understand her. Was he a woman creature? NO! He looked around longly for his basher, but it had vanished.

The woman creature was pointing his hand at her chest again and saying "Jabber". Suddenly, he had an epiphany. He reached one of his thick fingers over and pushed at one of her soft breasts. “Jabber!” He liked jabbers! Still, he couldn’t figure out why she was teaching him the woman word for them. He had never needed a word for them before.

 

[rvplymates]

Jabber's mouth dropped open as the man beast poked at her breast and called that Jabber. When he did it again she slapped his hand.

"NO"

She stood up and looked at him madly, he was a stupid man beast. She walked away from him wondering were her 10 brothers and Father were when she needed them.

 

[TheDeathClown]

Dung was really confused. She had pointed at her "jabbers"! What had she done that for, if she wasn't trying to show she was a good woman creature, with good jabbers? Why had she shouted at him? Why had she jumped up? If he had his basher, it would be so much easier!

Dung rose to his hanches and started to beat the ground with his fists in frustration.

(ooc: this is the strangest rp I have ever been in)

 

[rvplymates]

Jabber started to back away from him as he pounded the ground. She thought he was like one of the wild creatures, her brothers and Father had gone to hunt. She kept moving back slowly until her back hit a solid stone wall. She did not turn to see what it was but kept her eyes glued on him.

 

[TheDeathClown]

Dung finally stopped hitting the ground and looked at the woman creature. She looked like a none people creature who was scared because the hunters had cornered her. He stopped pounding and held up his hands and made a cooing sound. Maybe he could calm her down.

 

[rvplymates]

Yabber wondered what he was doing now making those strange sounds. She started to slowly move toward him. The sound was pleasant and drew her to him. She crouched down and touched his lips gently wanting to know how he was doing that sound.

 

[TheDeathClown]

The cooing seemed to calm the woman creature down, so Dung kept making it. He was amazed! Most women creatures were scared of him. She was coming close and he didn't even need his basher. He continued to coo softly at her.

 

[rvplymates]

She shaped her lips like his as she crouched by him and tried to make that pleasant sound but it did not come out like his. She moved closer to him ignoring any danger. She was trying hard to do as he was doing and moved even closer to him.

 

[TheDeathClown]

Dung wasn't sure why the woman creature was making that funny face, and all of the odd noises. She kept creeping closer and closer to him. Maybe she had eaten some of the bad act like stupid animal weed? It always made those who ate it act strange. Dung actually felt a bit worried. Those who ate the weed sometimes acted like violent animals as well. Even a small woman creature like this might do so, and might hurt herself in the process. He started to pat the top of her straw haired head, gently, in an attempt to calm her down.

 

[rvplymates]

Yabber frowned as the man beast stopped the pleasant sound and started to pat her on the head. She began to move back from him remembering he was not to be trusted when he grabbed her hair and pulled her to him. She had made a mistake.

NO, NO

 

[TheDeathClown]

Dung was getting frustrated. What did the female creature want anyway? His whole life femal creatures had there for four things: cooking food, rutting, keeping him warm at night and processing his kills into food, clothing and bone tools. It wasn't night, and she wasn't processing his kill or try to cook, so he figured that she must want to rut. Just as he realized this she started backing up again. It was so frustrating!

Dung's fingers locked onto her hair. Before they had been gentle, but now they were keeping her from getting away. Dung wasn't sure what was wrong with this woman creature. She must be crazy. He threw her over on broad shoulder and kept her there by slipping his free hand under her coverings and locking it onto her rounded ass. She started to hit him, as he moved back toward his camp. Was she really worth the trouble, even if she was prettier than most female creatures? That straw hair was so different than the black hair he was used to seeing.

 

[rvplymates]

The man beast was strong, he threw her over his big broad shoulder like she weighed nothing, stood with her and started to walk away from her camp. She was stunned at first until she felt his hand on her bare no touch area. She began to punch him but it had no effect. He seemed to be taking her far far away from where she was told to stay by her Father. She began screaming NO NO NO.