Titles in a new relationship?

[TinMan07]

Hi all,
I am pretty new to the BDSM world and am still learning and exploring. I recently began a LDR on kik with a wonderful sub. It's been going very well and I've been learning a lot.

A question came to me and after searching online and on the forum I couldn't find a decent, complete answer.

What I want to know is: When does a title such as Sir become appropriate. Similarly, when does a pet name for a sub become appropriate. I've been referring to my sub as "girl" and she hasn't expressed any dislike, however, I'm beginning to wonder if I should be doing this early on in the relationship. In contrast, she hasn't called me Sir or any other title. Do I earn this and she will call me by a title when she is ready, or do I instruct her to call me by a title when our relationship has matured to the point where it is a proper thing for me to ask?

I appreciate any input given.

 

[seela]

There are no general rules for such things, every relationship has their own set of rules.

You can call each other by any names you see fit and starting at any time in the relationship. That said, not everybody uses titles at all, it's not necessary. Maybe it would be a good idea to talk about the topic with your partner. You two are the only ones who can make up the rules for your relationship.

Welcome to Lit!

 

[TinMan07]

Thanks for the response, I appreciate it. I plan to talk with her, and ultimately I'm not very concerned about what everyone else does. I really just want to be educated about norms and what is done in order to have starting point from which to make my decisions.

I plan to speak to her about it, but I want to learn more about it before I do.

Good to be here

 

[ToPleaseHim]

You may like to read this post.

I think every relationship approaches the what and the when of titles differently. Some are strict and formal, while others are more casual. It sounds as though you are off to a great start with putting thought and consideration into finding what works in your relationship.

 

[TinMan07]

You may like to read this post.

I think every relationship approaches the what and the when of titles differently. Some are strict and formal, while others are more casual. It sounds as though you are off to a great start with putting thought and consideration into finding what works in your relationship.

Thanks for the advice. I just read that a few minutes ago

 

[Maidboy]

I've variously addressed Lady Superiors by such titles as "My Lady," "Your Ladyship," "Madam or Ma'am," "Your Grace," and more often "Miss (first name)" and of course the old standby "Mistress." Maybe I've never been in a D/s relationship long enough for one particular title to stick, but I've found that using different titles make BDSM play seem more spontaneous (for lack of a better word) than a sort of formalized ritual. I also find "Mistress" to have become a bit of an overused cliche by now, and for an old fashioned guy like me, still carries the old connotation of a "kept woman," which is antithetical to the idea of a dominatrix imho.

As a male sub, I've been addressed simply as "boy" or when being feminized, as "girl" or "young lady." Being praised as a "good girl" is just about the highest honor this Maidboy has ever had bestowed upon him.

 

[SissySalina]

Hi all,
I am pretty new to the BDSM world and am still learning and exploring. I recently began a LDR on kik with a wonderful sub. It's been going very well and I've been learning a lot.

A question came to me and after searching online and on the forum I couldn't find a decent, complete answer.

What I want to know is: When does a title such as Sir become appropriate. Similarly, when does a pet name for a sub become appropriate. I've been referring to my sub as "girl" and she hasn't expressed any dislike, however, I'm beginning to wonder if I should be doing this early on in the relationship. In contrast, she hasn't called me Sir or any other title. Do I earn this and she will call me by a title when she is ready, or do I instruct her to call me by a title when our relationship has matured to the point where it is a proper thing for me to ask?

I appreciate any input given.

sissy is a sub, does this mean a subperson or subhuman, no it means a submissive. She is a Dom, is this a dominatingperson or dominatinghuman, yes/no She is a Dominant. The relationship is called Dom/sub which means one person is Dominant and one person is submissive.
So the title is Dom and sub, unless you are a member of a royal court.
She is "My Love" and She calls me "sissy", they are the names and titles.

Normally in a Dom/ sub relationship a Dom leads or controls and a sub follows or obeys. :caning: This means what the Dom says to do the sub does. Remember the first and most important thing in a Dom/sub relationship is TRUST. If the sub trust the Dom then the sub does what the Dom says.

Titles are names, some names are earned and some are given. In a Dom/sub relationship the names are given or provided by the Dom.
This sissy's opinion is that the names should be at the beginning of the relationship.
A pet name is usually earned by actions or looks and is only between two people. This type name is more of affection between two people and used in private.

This has been the sole opinion of a sissy.

 

[Nezhul]

Whenever you feel like it's appropriate.

Sometimes it never will be. Sometimes it will be established on day 1. Sometimes only one and not the other is appropriate, or I should rather say - accepted by both parties.

For example I hate when titles are used to me. Sir, Master - I don't really want that.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[TinMan07]

Thanks for all the advice guys. Feeling much more informed.