Title Story Challenge

[PoliteSuccubus]

Write a small story using titles....bonus points for using titles of books actually in your house!

The Casebook of Constance and Charlie was in The House of Sand and Fog. Her Only Sin was leaving it there After Sundown in The Hollow House. A Light in the Attic made him wonder; May I Bring a Friend? He ended up bringing Every Living Thing, making her cry out "Where do you think you are? The End of Everywhere?"

Ok, that's not good at all but those were all titles I could see from my desk without getting up. lol.

 

[openthighs_sarah]

One recent Friday, a small toad awoke from one hundred years of solitude and swallowed eight little piggies that were trapped under the silent gondoliers of Aegypt. The long goodbye was abruptly terminated when the toad, named both Franny and Zooey, was squashed beneath the Chicago Manual of Style and an unabridged copy of Ulysses.

 

[Octavian]

how can I resist?

“Tom saw ‘er.”
“Tom saw who?”
“Hilary. She was getting dressed at the time.”
“Really?”
“He told her too. He said, ‘I can see your fanny, Hil!’ And that's not all. He also saw her tits. She was struggling to fit them in her basque.”
“So what did she say?”
“The damn bustier’s too tight.”
“Anyway let’s get back to the card game, Stan. You have got 16. Are you going to stick or twist?”
“OK, Oliver. Twist!”

I can already hear the groans.

Octavian
Bearer of the Silver Rose, and of the awful pun.

 

[OT]

Is it my imagination or do these rather dry technical titles from my bookshelf have an odd sort of suggestiveness to them?

The proper amount of bourbon and a sexy voice dripping with sultry innuendo may help.

Mastering Windows
Windows Driver Model
Visual Basic
Access - Unlocked
Developing Personal Oracle
Using Borland
SQL in 10 Minutes
Device Drivers
Inside Visual C
Standard COBOL
XML

They seem to inspire something along the lines of:

There was something more than Visual Basic about the Windows Driver Model. After a couple of drinks he had her Access - Unlocked, and she started to SQL in 10 Minutes.

She seemed insatiable and suggested using Device Drivers Inside Visual C while they watched the XML rated tape "Using Borland".

 

[SlaveMasterUK]

(being somewhat of the chastity belt nature, I like the sound of "Access - Unlocked"...)

I don't have any books on my desk but a whole load of computer games:

I'm a bit of a Speed Demon, so I satisfied my Need for Speed in a Sports Car GT on Interstate '76, kinda became a Demolition Racer at Breakneck speeds, 'til the Blue Shift pulled me in for Grand Theft Auto.

or:

Eath, 2150: I joined the Rebel Assault and became a Gunman, a Soldier of Fortune, living out an Unreal Half-Life against Opposing Forces. Command and Conquer: the only rules in the Battle Zone. But Rogue Squadron got hit by Dark Forces at the 11th Hour, but the Blast Corps caused a Quake, worldwide Fallout, and damn near the end of Civilisation, Two.

ax

 

[Rainbow Skin]

Between Headlong Hall and Nightmare Abbey there are Labyrinths, wherein The Bone People lie in An Unquiet Grave, Unweaving the Rainbow over Invisible Cities. Emma, The Sappho Companion, follows the Searoad, Sleepwalking, to The Mezzanine of The White Hotel, where sits The Sacred and Profane Love Machine; and wonders whether in Arcadia she will find The Real Thing or merely Travesties. As she gazes at The Colossus that is The Jade Mountain, she recalls her Birthday Letters, and it takes no Persuasion, knowing How The Mind Works, to feel that The God of Small Things is overseeing The Pilgrim's Progress.

 

[MathGirl]

Story from titles

Gosh, the Encyclopedia Americana doesn't really have much to offer.
MG

 

[oggbashan]

I'd like to try this but as a professional bookseller I have far too many titles to choose from unless I want to write another epic.

Og

 

[MathGirl]

Dear Og,
You should be disqualified. All you have to do is look around your shop. Librarians would have an unfair advantage, too.
Arbitrarily,
MG

 

[Quasimodem]

The Title Game.


It Came from Schenectady (1) To Russia With Love (2) Surviving an Eating Disorder (3) Trying to Make Sense (4) Of Mice and Men (5) Things That Go Bump in the Night (6)

Don't Look Now (7) The Addams Family (8) The Barbarians Are Coming (9)

What to Expect When You're Expecting (10) A Home at the End of the World (11)

If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat (12)

Doctor No (13)


Note to Contestants

Only four of these thirteen books are actually in my home, six are titles of books that I have never read.

For those to whom this form is unique, I had a bit of an edge. It was first used in 1962, by Mad Magazine. In memoriam of that time, I have ended this puzzle with the same book they used, then.


Authors

(1) - Barry B. Longyear
(2) - Ian Fleming
(3) - Michelle Siegel
(4) - Peter Winch
(5) - John Steinbeck
(6) - Louis Clark Jones
(7) - Dame Daphne Du Maurier
(8) - Elizabeth Faucher
(9) - David Wong Louie
(10) - Heidi E. Murkoff, et al
(11) - Michael Cunningham
(12) - John Ortberg
(13) - Ian Fleming

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Dear Og,
You should be disqualified. All you have to do is look around your shop. Librarians would have an unfair advantage, too.
Arbitrarily,
MG

What about Swedish book titles?

 

[Rainbow Skin]

Re: Story from titles

Gosh, the Encyclopedia Americana doesn't really have much to offer.
MG

Wrong kind of encyclopaedia then. Is it like the World Book, just one volume per letter? There's an old compact encyclopaedia from the 1930s that used to be absolutely everywhere. So common that from the earliest I can remember I've known the volume labels by heart: A-BED, BED-CIG, CIL-EGG, EGG-GLA, GLA-LAN, LAN-OBE, OBE-SHA, SHA-ZYG.

Now there must be a story in there. It starts with a bang, no preliminaries, A to BED, then after they've finished it's BED to CIG. Pregnancy scare: do sperm have CILia? And so on...

 

[champagne1982]

Holy First Editions, Batman!

(1) Michelle Remembers (2) The Firestarter on (3) The Plains of Passage. (4) The Man in (5)The Great and Secret Show suffered (6) Fates Worse Than Death visiting (7) Nobel House.

(1) Michelle Smith and Lawrence Pazder, M.D.
(2) Stephen King
(3) Jean M. Auel
(4) Irving Wallace
(5) Clive Barker
(6) Kurt Vonnegut
(7) James Clavell

With a bit of editing it should work! Anyone up for it?

Carrie
My Scribbles

 

[oggbashan]

Re: Re: Story from titles

Wrong kind of encyclopaedia then. Is it like the World Book, just one volume per letter? There's an old compact encyclopaedia from the 1930s that used to be absolutely everywhere. So common that from the earliest I can remember I've known the volume labels by heart: A-BED, BED-CIG, CIL-EGG, EGG-GLA, GLA-LAN, LAN-OBE, OBE-SHA, SHA-ZYG.

Now there must be a story in there. It starts with a bang, no preliminaries, A to BED, then after they've finished it's BED to CIG. Pregnancy scare: do sperm have CILia? And so on... [/QUOTE

I like the British Encyclopaedia. One volume was FUN-HUG.

Og

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Story from titles

Pregnancy scare: do sperm have CILia?

Dear RS,
I hate to disappoint, but spertatozoa have no cilia. Each has a single flagellum. You could take literary license, though.
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

While Playing For Ashes, I suddenly got In Presence of the Enemy. I knew that For the Sake of Elena, I had to get A suitable Vengeance. I couldn't let Wilt, who wasWell-Schooled In Murder, get away with what he had done! God, I was Missing Josef! I got a grip on myself, and went In Pursuit of the Proper Sinner...