Title for this is tough, but I got my Ego bruised

[sundown1]

So, I've posted in another thread about my HS gf, and her bountiful breast's. I also posted about how we went down this dirt road, and did the deed, while we were dating our future spouses. Through a series of memories, and feelings of nostalgia I reached out to her, she's divorced, I'm married, so spare me the talks about things of infidelity, I've read these threads. Anyhoo, we've talked, and actually met in person, and talked and 35 plus years later we acknowledged that we never let go of our feelings, it's very complicated on my end. Anyhoo through reminiscing, and her telling me that her ex husband cheated on her, I made the remark, " we'll we cheated on him." She said, " no he knew we went to that concert together." So I let it go. During our face to face she goes yeah, you always wanted sex, you would get mad." So , I say, " so you don't think we ever had sex, at all?" She looked puzzled, I said, "the time we went down the dirt road, and we ended up fooling around, and you said we could fuck if I wanted too, and I wanted to?" She has no recollection of it?!?! I said you even wrote me a letter saying how much better I was than him! Talk about an ego killer...lol. Sorry, I have nobody to share this with. Yes, letter because it was in the early 90s,

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

So, I've posted in another thread about my HS gf, and her bountiful breast's. I also posted about how we went down this dirt road, and did the deed, while we were dating our future spouses. Through a series of memories, and feelings of nostalgia I reached out to her, she's divorced, I'm married, so spare me the talks about things of infidelity, I've read these threads. Anyhoo, we've talked, and actually met in person, and talked and 35 plus years later we acknowledged that we never let go of our feelings, it's very complicated on my end. Anyhoo through reminiscing, and her telling me that her ex husband cheated on her, I made the remark, " we'll we cheated on him." She said, " no he knew we went to that concert together." So I let it go. During our face to face she goes yeah, you always wanted sex, you would get mad." So , I say, " so you don't think we ever had sex, at all?" She looked puzzled, I said, "the time we went down the dirt road, and we ended up fooling around, and you said we could fuck if I wanted too, and I wanted to?" She has no recollection of it?!?! I said you even wrote me a letter saying how much better I was than him! Talk about an ego killer...lol. Sorry, I have nobody to share this with. Yes, letter because it was in the early 90s,

I think its a reasonable conclusion that she is repressing the memory because it conflicts with her feelings of resentment against her ex and her feeling of being the injured party and the innocent one.
I am quite sure it has nothing to do with the quality of the experience.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

So, I've posted in another thread about my HS gf, and her bountiful breast's. I also posted about how we went down this dirt road, and did the deed, while we were dating our future spouses. Through a series of memories, and feelings of nostalgia I reached out to her, she's divorced, I'm married, so spare me the talks about things of infidelity, I've read these threads. Anyhoo, we've talked, and actually met in person, and talked and 35 plus years later we acknowledged that we never let go of our feelings, it's very complicated on my end. Anyhoo through reminiscing, and her telling me that her ex husband cheated on her, I made the remark, " we'll we cheated on him." She said, " no he knew we went to that concert together." So I let it go. During our face to face she goes yeah, you always wanted sex, you would get mad." So , I say, " so you don't think we ever had sex, at all?" She looked puzzled, I said, "the time we went down the dirt road, and we ended up fooling around, and you said we could fuck if I wanted too, and I wanted to?" She has no recollection of it?!?! I said you even wrote me a letter saying how much better I was than him! Talk about an ego killer...lol. Sorry, I have nobody to share this with. Yes, letter because it was in the early 90s,

Better things to worry about!! Lol. Women are funny.

 

[KyleR215]

So, I've posted in another thread about my HS gf, and her bountiful breast's. I also posted about how we went down this dirt road, and did the deed, while we were dating our future spouses. Through a series of memories, and feelings of nostalgia I reached out to her, she's divorced, I'm married, so spare me the talks about things of infidelity, I've read these threads. Anyhoo, we've talked, and actually met in person, and talked and 35 plus years later we acknowledged that we never let go of our feelings, it's very complicated on my end. Anyhoo through reminiscing, and her telling me that her ex husband cheated on her, I made the remark, " we'll we cheated on him." She said, " no he knew we went to that concert together." So I let it go. During our face to face she goes yeah, you always wanted sex, you would get mad." So , I say, " so you don't think we ever had sex, at all?" She looked puzzled, I said, "the time we went down the dirt road, and we ended up fooling around, and you said we could fuck if I wanted too, and I wanted to?" She has no recollection of it?!?! I said you even wrote me a letter saying how much better I was than him! Talk about an ego killer...lol. Sorry, I have nobody to share this with. Yes, letter because it was in the early 90s,

yeah, that is an ego killer

 

[sundown1]

I think its a reasonable conclusion that she is repressing the memory because it conflicts with her feelings of resentment against her ex and her feeling of being the injured party and the innocent one.
I am quite sure it has nothing to do with the quality of the experience.

Yeah, I could see that, but he actually passed away after their divorce, and she says good riddance. I guess everyone remembers different, I know I remember that, as well as I can.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

Yeah, I could see that, but he actually passed away after their divorce, and she says good riddance. I guess everyone remembers different, I know I remember that, as well as I can.

The fact that she ended up despising or hating him does not affect my thinking. She has created a narrative in her mind in which he treated her abysmally. Acknowledging that she cheated on him would undermine that narrative. So, the memory is repressed. Trying to dredge it up will not improve your relationship with her.

 

[sundown1]

The fact that she ended up despising or hating him does not affect my thinking. She has created a narrative in her mind in which he treated her abysmally. Acknowledging that she cheated on him would undermine that narrative. So, the memory is repressed. Trying to dredge it up will not improve your relationship with her.

I can see your point, thanks.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

So, I've posted in another thread about my HS gf, and her bountiful breast's. I also posted about how we went down this dirt road, and did the deed, while we were dating our future spouses. Through a series of memories, and feelings of nostalgia I reached out to her, she's divorced, I'm married, so spare me the talks about things of infidelity, I've read these threads. Anyhoo, we've talked, and actually met in person, and talked and 35 plus years later we acknowledged that we never let go of our feelings, it's very complicated on my end. Anyhoo through reminiscing, and her telling me that her ex husband cheated on her, I made the remark, " we'll we cheated on him." She said, " no he knew we went to that concert together." So I let it go. During our face to face she goes yeah, you always wanted sex, you would get mad." So , I say, " so you don't think we ever had sex, at all?" She looked puzzled, I said, "the time we went down the dirt road, and we ended up fooling around, and you said we could fuck if I wanted too, and I wanted to?" She has no recollection of it?!?! I said you even wrote me a letter saying how much better I was than him! Talk about an ego killer...lol. Sorry, I have nobody to share this with. Yes, letter because it was in the early 90s,

I wouldn't let it bother you. I discuss things from the past with people including my wife and they don't remember it.

Some things as guys we never forget and sex is one of them.
Also women tend to conveniently forget cheating sex when they do it but never if you do it.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I wouldn't let it bother you. I discuss things from the past with people including my wife and they don't remember it.

Some things as guys we never forget and sex is one of them.
Also women tend to conveniently forget cheating sex when they do it but never if you do it.

The last part is SO true and hypocritical. They'll remember their cheating as a beautiful friendship.

 

[Morton81]

The woman I had an affair with 30 years ago seems to like to suppress those memories. After 3 years of meeting secretly, we both were divorced. She was working and living in a nearby city and basically ghosted me. Ended up marrying the guy that owned the business she worked at. That worked out until she caught him in bed with her daughter.
After that she started working for her first husband again. Moved back in with him. She started showing up at a local club my wife and I go to. She is still friendly and acknowledges we were friends back then. Doesn't seem to want to acknowledge how close our relationship was. I have great memories of our times together but she seems to have buried those times.
Sorry if I rambled on but this is the first time I actually put most of this into words.

 

[sundown1]

Update: so we're having an affair now. There was a pause during a face to face, a d she asked if there was something I wanted to say? I said no, is there something you want to say? She said, "if you come to my house you're gonna get sex." Well that led to getting more serious than I thought I would.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

So, I've posted in another thread about my HS gf, and her bountiful breast's. I also posted about how we went down this dirt road, and did the deed, while we were dating our future spouses. Through a series of memories, and feelings of nostalgia I reached out to her, she's divorced, I'm married, so spare me the talks about things of infidelity, I've read these threads. Anyhoo, we've talked, and actually met in person, and talked and 35 plus years later we acknowledged that we never let go of our feelings, it's very complicated on my end. Anyhoo through reminiscing, and her telling me that her ex husband cheated on her, I made the remark, " we'll we cheated on him." She said, " no he knew we went to that concert together." So I let it go. During our face to face she goes yeah, you always wanted sex, you would get mad." So , I say, " so you don't think we ever had sex, at all?" She looked puzzled, I said, "the time we went down the dirt road, and we ended up fooling around, and you said we could fuck if I wanted too, and I wanted to?" She has no recollection of it?!?! I said you even wrote me a letter saying how much better I was than him! Talk about an ego killer...lol. Sorry, I have nobody to share this with. Yes, letter because it was in the early 90s,

I am sorry about your ego. That would have hurt me too.
The upside is that her infidelity pre-marriage did not become a burr under her saddle. If she had remembered every time a familiar place, song, feeling or smell passed, the guilt could have changed the directory of her life and possibly yours. Guilty people do not always act rationally.

Now that you mentioned it, her mind will begin the natural path to assembling the link between the present and the past. This is where she can adjust the narrative for her own safety.

Your encounter with her was hopefully pleasant and should be cherished by both parties. However, when this forgotten memory is less pure or downright abusive, the brain and the body have protected itself by walling the memory in a vault.

PTS works in this way for me and, according to my counselor, a lot of abuse victims.

Now that you have reconnected, enjoy the shared memories, laugh about the ones each other has forgotten, and welcome an old friend back into your life.

 

[sundown1]

Oh I've welcomed her back. As much as I wondered about her, and kept up with her, she has admitted to doing the same with me. There have been a few times where it was totally out of the blue running into her, I've found out that in fact, she was putting herself in position to "run into me." She said she loved her ex, but always thought that it would've been she, and I doing these things together. It's a complicated situation.