Tiredness in the UK

TheEarl

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Just got sent this. Made I larf, so I thought I'd share the wealth.

Are you tired? I'm tired.

Yes, I'm tired, for several years I've been blaming it on poor blood, lack of vitamins, air pollution, saccharin, sick building syndrome, dieting, old sports injuries, alcohol abuse and another dozen maladies that make you wonder if life is really worth living. But I found out that it’s not that at all.

I'm tired because I'm overworked.

The population of Britain is 54 million.
21 million are retired.
That leaves 33 million to do the work.
There are 21 million at school.
That leaves 12 million to do the work.
3 million are unemployed and 4 million are employed by the government.
That leaves 5 million to do the work.
1 million are in the armed forces, which leaves 4 million to do the work.
3 million are employed by County and Borough councils leaving I million to do the work.
There are 620,000 people in hospital and 379,998 in prisons.
Which just leaves 2 people to do the work.

You and me.

And you're sitting on your arse reading this.

No wonder I'm bloody tired!
 
Yes, it's a really nice one Earl. I got it some years ago. I still laughed while re-reading it now. It's good. :)
 
whispering_surrender said:
*snicker* Suddenly I feel like I should be doing something productive.....

Whisp :rose:

YES, YOU SHOULD.

*cracks whip at Whisp*

Go, write that story!

:devil:
 
But if she's giving you someone to crack the whip at, then isn't that productive?

The Earl
 
TheEarl said:
But if she's giving you someone to crack the whip at, then isn't that productive?

The Earl

Not terribly productive. I know what that woman could be doing all too well. ;)
 
Made me chuckle too, Earl.


Sadly the figures are well wrong! Last time I looked there were about 500,000 people working for the government and unemployment hasn't been 3 million since the bad old days...


Latest government press release:


February 2004 Labour Market Statistics
February 11 2004 - Employment continues at record levels. There were 28.156 million people in work (October to December) according to the labour force survey - up by 5 thousand in the last three months and 156 thousand over the last year - a rate of 74.5%. This is down by 0.1% from last quarter.

ILO-defined unemployment (October to December) was 1,460,000 (4.9%). Down by 55,000 on the year and 21,000 over the last three months.

The claimant count in January 2004 was 892,100 - down by 13,400 on the previous month. The claimant rate was 2.9%, 0.1% less than a year ago.

Average earnings growth over the year to December was 3.4%, down 0.1% on the previous month.

Minister of State for Work, Des Browne said:

"The success of the government's economic and labour market policies can be seen month after month. The UK has the strongest labour market for a generation. We have record numbers in work, unemployment is falling and job vacancies are high."





Way to spoil a joke :(
 
MaxSebastian said:
ILO-defined unemployment (October to December) was 1,460,000 (4.9%). Down by 55,000 on the year and 21,000 over the last three months.

Something will have to be done. When we had record low unemployment over here a few years ago, companies who wanted to hire people were forced to lure them with more money and extra benefits.

If you need help creating more jobless people who will be more grateful if they ever do get work, contact Washington and ask for their new economic discovery: "the jobless economic recovery."

Those who are finding jobs are taking reduced pay and working longer hours. They're tired, but they're humble. It's good for business.
 
whispering_surrender said:
What? Fantasizing about your AV, or fighting with Raph over who gets to gaze at it?

Whisp :rose:

Sheeesh! :eek:

Writing, girl. Writing. ;)
 
whispering_surrender said:
Oh! *lightbulb over head flickers and sputters* You want me to write?

Whisp :rose:

*gives lightbulb a playful whack to get it to shine BRIGHTLY*

(Are we talking a lot in here?)
 
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