Tipsy and ranting...

[SheaLima]

I feel like giving up on relationships for awhile! The men I've dated lately seem to only want one thing. I don't know if I'm sending out the wrong vibe, but I attract assholes Dating used to be fun... now it's crazy pressure to perform and I feel like I'm messing it all up :/ I don't know what to do... Any advice out there?

 

[steve1293]

Your in box is full pm me if you want after you clear some stuff out

 

[SheaLima]

Your in box is full pm me if you want after you clear some stuff out

I emptied it. Thank you.

 

[LWulf]

my initial advice would be not to date when tipsy, my secondary advice would be that your standards have risen which is why it used to be fun but now it isn't. So the question you have to ask yourself is; Do I want to keep the same high standards and be miserable or lower my standards and just have fun? My tertiary advice would be... nothing. I just never seem to have tertiary advice and miss saying 'tertiary'.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[LWulf]

Could you not have pushed for quaternary advice? Its so rare people go beyond 'tertiary' and that's where it starts to get more fun, no?

Well, yes, indeed and followed by quinary, senary, septenary, octonary, nonary, denary, duodenary, and vigenary, but the trouble is you have to get past third before you advance to fourth.

 

[song_bird]

my initial advice would be not to date when tipsy, my secondary advice would be that your standards have risen which is why it used to be fun but now it isn't. So the question you have to ask yourself is; Do I want to keep the same high standards and be miserable or lower my standards and just have fun? My tertiary advice would be... nothing. I just never seem to have tertiary advice and miss saying 'tertiary'.

. I'm not sure that there is a strong correlation between having high standards and being miserable.

 

[RawHumor]

Pressure to perform how?

Like you're not being a good enough submissive in their opinion? You're not doing X quickly enough or enthusiastically enough (whatever X may be)?

Being single with high standards can be tough... but it's better than getting ensnared with someone who'll make you miserable for the rest of your life.

 

[policywank]

Well how are you connecting with men and what is the "one thing" they want that is troubling? People come in all variations and there are more than likely men who fit with what you want.

Usually the starting point is honesty with yourself. Women in particular have a tendency to say one thing and want another often constrained by what we think we are supposed to want or what society finds acceptable. And we have a strong tendency to see what we want in a man rather than what is really there.

If you say you are looking for a nice guy you are either going to find a nice guy or a lier who pretends to be a nice guy but is really a creep. Either way if what you really want is for someone to tie you to the bedpost and give you a good spanking before he fucks you it probably isn't going to work out.

Carefully see yourself and the world around you for what they really. Look at the differences between now and the past in you and your surroundings. Ruthlessly analysis your own preconceptions and assumptions that might be off base. Your profile says you came to Texas from Brazil - sure as hell there are attitudes you grew up with that you assumed were universal but are anything but.

I have travelled and lived in a lot of different places and one of the most important and consistent things I have noticed is that in every place people have a long list of assumptions about the one way things are supposed to be done......and it is different in every place.

 

[mijayoo]

I feel like giving up on relationships for awhile! The men I've dated lately seem to only want one thing. I don't know if I'm sending out the wrong vibe, but I attract assholes Dating used to be fun... now it's crazy pressure to perform and I feel like I'm messing it all up :/ I don't know what to do... Any advice out there?

I started dating couples because it is so much easier, you may want to give it some thought.