Tingles writing the word pussy.

[nomoreundies]

Heya, I'm a total newbie to this erotic fiction business. Writing my story i still felt nervous and tingly writing about the actual act and various genitalia. I do love the stories on here though, so i thought i'd try one of my own. I've never written anything with sex before so i thought maybe you guys could give me some tips, or comments etc.

It's called 'Jake Loves Kate' and you can find it at http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=382214

I submitted it under '1st time'. The story is collection of school camp fantasies based on real events. I don't know if that's the best way to do it but i thought i'd get them out of my system and hey, it's my first go at it.

it would be great if you could have a read and tell me what you think. If enough people like it, i might even write another one.

 

[CWatson]

I thought it was quite good for a first effort. You're good at the first-person narration, though occasionally it's a bit jerky, especially when you suddenly switch from present tense to past tense in the 8th paragraph; the ending is kind of abrupt too. But maybe that's part of the charm. There isn't the greatest of character development, but I have a hunch that wasn't your objective anyway, so no fault there. Long story short, it works just fine; it's not wrong, and, while it could stand to be more right in places, that's true of every story that ever lived. You're in good company.

If you're feeling underconfident about your ability to write sex, just read a lot of stories out here and copy some of what they do. Using this technique you can actually fake your way through sex scenes without having ever lived one yourself! (Not that I'm admitting something about myself or anything. Oh no! )

 

[nomoreundies]

Thanks for feedback! I actually uploaded it to 'stories.xnxx' as well and the response was crazy good. Like, i think at the moment my story is somehow the second highest rated, but here i barely have 100 reads. I think it must be to do with the level of expertise. Over there it's a lot more amateur, but at the same time, really raw and you can tell some stories are someone just coming home and splashing out all their fantasies with only one hand. But here it is such a higher level. Well, i don't know about every story because i usually browse top lists, but i just read 'Goodbye, La La Land' - http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=170395 - and it just blew me away and i was amazed at how detailed it was. It was everything i wanted to put in my first time story.

I think that might be key. I wrote mine in a night just to see if i could, whereas i suppose alot of the stories here have been worked on a bit. I think it might be alot in the detail. I really kinda grazed over a lot of the intricacies of the sex, i need to make it more detailed and explicit?

With the characters, i kinda wanted to keep the first person guy as a blank slate so that any guy could fairly simply kinda step into the role. But i think i need to spend more time with the others. See, they are fully formed in my head, it doesn't always all get put on the page.