Tiger's Eye -- Dec. 7, 2001

[Mickie]

And the story for this week is *drum roll please! *

Tiger's Eye by Maquinna. It can be found in the anal category.

The link --

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=25674

And now over to you, Maquinna ---

 

[Maquinna]

Tiger's Eye was my first attempt at writing erotica. It evolved over a few months, until I decided to submit it to this site. I was pleasantly surprised with how it was received, and encouraged by the feedback and support many people took the time to send. Most comments, of course, were the predictable lamentations of the hairy palm contingent, wondering why they never get to sit next to me on a plane. I didn't notice anyone, however, offering me a ticket somewhere. I don't think I can chalk that up to September 11th jitters.

Still, since that time I have done more reading and I've been thinking how I might improve it. I guess I'm never quite content. I requested that this story be considered for discussion in part to expose my work to more people, but also to get suggestions from those who spend more time writing than whacking off.

Specifically, I'd like the discussion to focus on several "macro" issues: style, voice, point of view, plot development, and use of visuals and imagery. I also recognize that dialogue is nearly non-existent in this piece. I think it was KillerMuffin who recently posted something to the effect that dialogue makes or breaks the story (btw, KM, I do admire your use of dialogue). I think dialogue is something I am not entirely comfortable using yet, and I'd be willing to hear suggestions on how dialogue could have been effectively incorporated in Tiger's Eye to make it a better story. I have read Whispersecret's piece but I often feel that when I'm writing dialogue, it sounds awkward.

Some negative comments I have received on my work focus on the use of open-ended, ambiguous endings. I don't know whether this is simply a reader preference for a kind of closure or what. Thoughts about this with regard to this story would also be welcome.

Since submitting this piece, I've also posted on other story, entitled "Another Roadside Attraction." I intend to include a third, free-standing piece in the near future to complete an anal "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" trilogy. I'd like to be able to demonstrate some improvement by the end of it, so let me know what did and didn't work in Tiger's Eye. I would also like to launch a pre-emptive strike against my fellow spelling and grammar cops: I'm Canadian, and there is no way you will ever get me to take the U's out of my words. Noah Webster can bite my ass; I pray at the altar of the O.E.D.

Thanks for your time and thoughts. Look forward to hearing from you all.

 

[Jake Marlow]

All in all, a very good story. It was very hot, had just the right amount of detail. What there was of the dialogue seemed realistic. It was very good use of a often used locale. It didn't even have me rolling my eyes for being ridiculous. It stretched credibility all that much.

The use of visuals was great. I felt right there and the woman seemed very real to me. The narrator didn't reveal much about himself, but I didn't need to know any more than I did. Some of the imagery didn't work for me. Specifically there were a couple lines:

"Making love to a woman like that would be like rocking in the belly of a small boat over salty ocean waves."

"His shoulders were an axe handle across..."

The first phrase just had me shaking my head going, "Huh?" Seemed forced, bad simile, sorry. And the second just seemed like a weird thing to say about someone. Both of those phrases brought the story to a screeching halt for me, but it's a testiment to how good this story is that I got right back into it.

I gave this story a 4. If this is your first story I can't wait to see more.

Jake

 

[scarlet vixen]

Well, that is some fine writing, maquinna, especially for a first story. It's very erotic and nicely paced. The anal scene is quite hot, indeed and kind of a surprising debauch.

To improve.. hmmm.
1) We really dont learn much about the guy except he travels and has a laptop and a surging libido. Seems like he might be a businessman or even an engineer. This raises the question of his voice. Has the four letter words, but waxes poetic at times
(the boat image) or literary, like the Story of O: 'nether lips.'
Sometimes he's oddly coy, like a romance writer: his 'hardness'. Since there is no 'third person', somehow you have to make his thoughts and statements 'give himself away' a bit. Like say, 'my cock was as hard as one of those 8" steel I-beams that I see on our building sites.'

2) So, if I may be so bold, he is probably pretty much like you, Maquinna, hot, literary and educated. But what that means is that you haven't really separated yourself from your character: You want to use your fine image, so in it goes. (But to do that, include *your* images, the story would have to be in the third person.) It is perhaps odd that most people at lit. choose the first person, thinking it's easier, but it's not. The writer's skills and intelligence have to be filtered and screened and come out, indirectly, through a character. Else the writer ends up having a hot slut, not too bright, who talks either like an English major, or a romance or a porn writer.
****
Since you have set such a high standard, I have to ask myself, What separates this story from published 'best', and I don't mean penthouse. Well, there's a bit of slack in the writing, as mentioned. But I would say that the man and the woman, especially her, are a bit too generic. (The airplane situation, though, has just enough to be non-generic; that's a real plus) She's a perfect honey blonde bombshell, and her main quirks are exhibitionism and anal stuff. Not quite enough. Now if she, for instance had been wearing a prosthesis, and had only one real breast, I would remember her.

I am looking to see you reach very near professional quality in your next story, and will check on the roadside one you mention.

 

[Jocund Day]

Opening:
The opening paragraph of a short story is a promise. It promises action, or wit, or style, or it promises the lack thereof. Some one thing in it should be polished to such an enticing sheen-a phrase, a thought, a word-that the reader intuitively senses that the author values his audience's attention and will not proceed onward to bore or annoy or insult that audience.
Your opening is slow. Had I not known that somewhere back there amongst the lines there lurks explicit depictions of sex I may not have made it past paragraph three. My suggestion would be to dump the first three paragraphs and work what little crucial information is in them into paragraph four, your real opening. (And "half full" takes a hyphen.)
Paragraph 2:
"nightlights of the cities," nice touch, it tells
Paragraph 4:
"rocking in the belly of a small boat over salty ocean waves," I like it, but too purple too early, push it back and relate it directly to immediate action, (I live on the sea also, Jake obviously does not.)
"a tigress of a woman," denotes danger, even cruelty, to me, not sex
Paragraph 5:
"His shoulders were an axe handle across," must be a colloquialism, stops the story cold, cut it
Paragraph 8:
"light repast," you switch in and out of two voices, one agreeably transparent and the other stilted and ever so slightly annoying, you must resist the temptation to give in to your love of elevated vocabulary, if you were talking to this woman across the aisle about airline food would you really use the phrase "light repast?", see also "daring public attack," "my subterfuge," "golden goddess," "abort"
Paragraphs 11-14:
here your story transcends, the words disappear, the page disappears, the room disappears, your anxiety over the language sublimates to the action in your head and we all watch them doing it under the blankets together, instead of us watching you watching them, '"Oh yeah, baby...milk it, yes...,"' and you do, to great effect, real talent rears its greasy head
Paragraph 23:
you may want to consider finding another way of getting them both into the bathroom at the same time, my suspension of disbelief takes a hit when she simply knocks on the door and says, in effect, let me in, I want to ball
Paragraph 28:
'"God, yes," I said,' well done, that and only that is exactly what one would say in this situation, "yes"-not enough, "fuck, yes"-too coarse,
Paragraph 29:
"Her thin panties were sodden at the crotch, holding in the evidence." very, very well done, no further comment required, wish I had written it, will steal it later
Paragraph 30:
"Was this a dream? If so, I never wanted to wake." NO! NO! NO!, never breach the forth wall unless you've prepared your audience beforehand, don't look us straight in the eye and ask us a direct question, the transcendence you've built up to just evaporates, especially at this crucial point in the narrative, (don't think, just write)
Paragraph 32:
"her bottom blushed crimson as her orgasm took her," nice detail
Paragraph 33:
the anal, in my opinion unnecessary and a bit over the top, marks this work as a wank piece only, you don't need it, (maybe this woman would satisfy herself with a total stranger on an airplane--god knows I have numerous times-but would she do it without a condom and through the back door?, your losing me, I'm slipping away)
Paragraph 34:
"The tiger's eye about her neck was a pendulum, keeping time with each stroke." nice detail, but a merely competent stab at framing
Paragraph 35:
"heart's desire," your mixing metaphors, we haven't heard one word about what's in her heart up to this point, they've been boning, right?
Paragraph 38:
the reference to sleep a much more adept attempt at framing, sneaks up on you, as it should, (Logan is invariably approached through the fog, it's a blessing that you allowed your main character to sleep right up until touchdown, that drop through nothingness over water always scares the crap out of me)
Ending:
deserves a full stop, unless you intend to miff you audience with that ever so over-used ellipsis, (but not by you), you allow the story to peter out because the real ending was the cum shot back in paragraph 35, cut the last three paragraphs and maybe sum up with a downward-glancing smile as they hit the stark light of the terminal
Overall:
Well done to very well done. Thoroughly cooked throughout, in fact. You have an eye for telling detail and an ear talented enough to present that detail tellingly. Thank you and goodnight.

 

[abashed-dreamer]

JD doesn't leave much to say at the level of words. She is wise. I don't know if sex has to be in para one: at lit., one of the all time favorites, Mrs. Steel, takes several.

How to get them together. I see JDs point. But it would take a bit of engineering to get them into a cubicle otherwise. Unless, beforehand they had signaled, 'let's both head for the washroom'. (a common practice in lit stories; i haven't been so lucky as to come across it IRL)


It's an interesting point, whether the anal scene is gratuitous. The whole thing is fantasy. Iirc, she undertakes it to make him come. This is not only a lust crazed golden girl, but a samaritan besides. I could picture some rationale. Her vagina has been drastically shortened/truncated because of cancer surgery. So she offers her ass.

As usual, some of the most erotic parts are the watching of her and her bodyfriend, especially once she becomes aware of being watched. It perhaps strains credibility for her to see his hand in motion.... more subtle would be for her not quite to see the exact details, just see signs on his face, etc..

Understand that this is mostly 'gilding the lily,' these supposed improvements. It's a very good story, told in an excellent way.

 

[christo]

good stuff

This was a doggone good story. It has a conventional setup-- man and woman meet on a plane, head off to the bathroom, do the deed. It has a little twist to it, in that the woman has sex with her boyfriend before moving on to the narrator. If the situation is a bit cliched, oh well, that's where fantasy comes in.

The sex is hot, very hot. There are long, involved, ambitious stories on this site, and then there are stories designed to arouse, and this story firmly falls in the second category. The sex scenes are excellent. I loved the one description of the woman's breasts, that they hung heavy and the nipples pointed outward. The woman isn't described as your typical centerfold type, she has large breasts and a "generous rump". A bombshell, perhaps, but it's nice to read about a woman who isn't 5'10 and 107 pounds.

Could the story be improved? Or course, no story is perfect. I too didn't quite get the image of rocking in a small boat on salty waves, I felt kinda nauseous after reading that (then again, I often feel nauseous after sex, so maybe I get it after all). And the ellipsis at the end needs to go. I'm a terrible offender with the ellipsis, when I'm writing I love it, and when I'm editing I hate it. 99% of the time they should be ditched.

But that's no biggie. Often, when I read a story, I think, does the author have the eye? Can you see that the author, as it were, gets it? Knows how to tell a story, get from point A to point B in an interesting way? For a first time poster, especially, Maquinna showed me that she knows what she's doing.

 

[Maquinna]

Comments so far have been interesting. The words of one of my high school English teachers (a Mr. J. Grenfell Featherstone, there's a character name for you sometime) are ringing in my ears. He warned me once that when you find yourself enamoured of a phrase or line that you've used, best to rip it out. The likelihood is no one else is going to feel the same way about it. That's plainly the case with my small boat on salty waves and my axe-handled shouldered guy in the window seat.

The points brought up regarding voice are well taken and something I am more aware of as I work on other pieces now. I can see that's an area where I can use some practice.

JD, you seemed to feel that the sex should begin earlier. I find this a bit curious. I think it's more important to establish some setting, establish the story, before the sex itself. It makes me wonder what the true driver is in erotica: the sex, or the story? In my mind, it is primarily a story, and crafting that well is my main goal. Sex is an element of the story; otherwise I think you fall into the tail wagging the dog. I'm wondering if you could clarify your point for me if I've misunderstood you. I would like to thank you for the obvious time you took to go through my story and make your substantial comments. I don't agree with everything, but you make many good points.

Is the anal scene gratuitous? Well, it's there for a couple of reasons. First, the character enjoys anal play. I had hoped I'd made that evident by her reaction to being fondled and stroked there while she initially straddles the narrator in the bathroom. Second, when I viewed the category possibilities on this site, I feared my story would be lost in the sea of Erotic Couplings and thought I would stand a better chance of getting reads if I placed it in the Anal section. Third...heck, I like it up the ass myself and it just plain pleased me to write it that way.

I am glad to hear that the heat level was good for most people. I hope this discussion continues as it has. It's been quite helpful to me already.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Suspension of disbelief

This is one of a writer's greatest tasks. You are asking the reader to not only come with you on whatever ride you're taking them on, but you're asking them to put aside any disbelief they may have about what happens on the ride.

Was it a bump in the road in this story, I wonder? Did you believe that two people would have sex on an airplane? That the woman would not freak out when she was noticed, but instead get turned on by it? Did you have any trouble believing that she would follow a stranger to the lavatory and have anal sex with him?

One quality of good writing is that you never say to yourself, "yeah right."

 

[Maquinna]

KillerMuffin's comments

KM - are you asking me, or others? I get what you are saying as it pertains to writing in general, but as far as this story goes, what are your answers to those questions, and why?

 

[christo]

While the situation presented in this story is, shall we say, a wee bit outside the norm, is it beyond belief? I don't think so. I mean, if someone came up to me and told me that this actually happened to them, I would say, "Um, bullshit". But so far as a fantasy goes, sure, what the hell?

Hey, all it would take to make this fantasy come true is an attractive, horny woman willing to screw her boyfriend in front of a voyeur and then follow said voyeur to the bathroom and let him cornhole her. Any women who think themselves up to the task are invited to PM me and let me know what flight they'll be on.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I'm asking others, prolonging the discussion, as it were.

I found it stretching my credulity just a tad to have her follow him to the john. It's due to the effectiveness of the writing that it didn't make me think "yeah right" and backclick.

This brings to mind another question, does the very genre give writers a bit more leeway as far as suspension of disbelief? We know this all fantasy, we don't expect the writers to keep so strictly to reality and character motivations as we do in other genres, do we? Does this promote a bit of lazy writing among some of us?

It's a fantasy, we may not strictly believe that she would follow him to the W.C., but it's no big deal when she did, because it's just a fantasy. The sex is hot, the writing is good, no problem, sit back and get one hand busy.

Is this a problem, do ya'll think?

 

[P. B. Walker]

I need a tissue...

I did not have that much trouble believing this woman would get up and follow him into the bathroom. I know several women that can and do get away with this kind of behavior (god bless 'em). If a guy had tried this, it would be kinda laughable. I can just hear the screams of "Pervert" ringing throughout the plane now. But if you think about, what guy wouldn't open that door.

Now the anal might have been a tad over the top. I'll give you that. At least without a condom. Especially in this day and age.

when she did, because it's just a fantasy. The sex is hot, the writing is good, no problem, sit back and get one hand busy.

How did you know what I was doing dammit??!! LOL

Good story Maquinna.

- PBW

 

[abashed-dreamer]

About suspension of disbelief and 'yeah right.' I don't think this is well applied to individual incidents of a story, especially fiction with an element of imagination or fantasy. Consider.

Man talks to ghost.

Ghost says his uncle murdered his father, by pouring poison in his ear.

Man is undecided what to do, so pretends to be crazy for a while, and accidentally murders his girl friend's father.

The girl friend goes mad and drowns herself.

The uncle decides to get rid of his suspicious nephew by having the nephew in a sword fight, in which the opponent's sword is tipped with poison. The fight occurs and the man is fatally poisoned. As is his mother, accidentally.

But he manages to kill the uncle with his sword before expiring.

Now, people, how many times have you said. 'Yeah right'??

In my view, the writer of imaginative fiction is creating a world, with its own logic and laws, but recognizably human characters.
The only mistake of 'implausibility', then, is for the work to violate its own laws. In those terms, then, for a woman to pursue a man into an airplane's restroom after mile high sex with her boyfriend is hardly something that puts one off--in my opinion, for what it's worth.

 

[Jocund Day]

"JD, you seemed to feel that the sex should begin earlier.[...]I'm wondering if you could clarify your point for me if I've misunderstood you."

Not necessarily sex, Maquinna, but *something* substantial should grab the reader immediately, especially as it becomes apparent early on that the story's setting is to be a well-worn cliché. Take this opening sentence, for example: "It was now lunch time and they were all sitting under the double green fly of the dining tent pretending that nothing had happened." The setting here is also a cliché--a rich, white man's African safari--but Hemingway doesn't begin linearly, with a transatlantic crossing or a trek through the grasslands or the minutia of setting up a base camp, he begins in the middle, after something intriguing has happened of which to tell. We wonder immediately what has happened, who "they" are, why they are pretending it has not happened, why they must pretend at all, and we come to know in time that "The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber" is only briefly happy because he really has no life of his own until he faces his fear and that his wife shoots him in the head shortly thereafter because she fears his newfound fearlessness and that "they," all of them, all of *us*, really, pretend because they, we, fear. All in the opening, twenty-four word, sentence. This is why Hemingway is great (and, through envy, much maligned in this forum by those who all too obviously are not).

To reiterate, the opening sentences of a short story are a promise. They either hold the promise of a rewarding experience for the reader or they do not. Yours do not. Hemingway led with fear; you lead with a yawn.

JD______________________________________________
"He thought about alone in Constantinople that time, having quarreled in Paris before he had gone out. He had whored the whole time and then, when that was over, and he had failed to kill his loneliness, but only made it worse, he had written her, the first one, the one who left him, a letter telling her how he had never been able to kill it…How when he thought he saw her outside the Regence one time it made him go all faint and sick inside, and that he would follow a woman who looked like her in some way, along the Boulevard, afraid to see it was not she, afraid to lose the feeling it gave him. How every one he had slept with had only made him miss her more. How what she had done could never matter since he knew he could not cure himself of loving her."
"The Snows Of Kilimanjaro"

 

[Maquinna]

A couple of things here:

Does the genre encourages laziness with regard to writing stories that have some degree of plausibility? I find I'm often told by readers, "wouldn't it be great if they did this, or that happened..." and I'm usually struck by how outrageous these ideas are. I tend to resist writing anything that isn't at least within the realm of reasonable possibility. A story has to be very well written indeed for my own sense of what's realistic to take a back seat. Fantastical situations are fine, IF you can pull it off, but I believe few can.

I was surprised by the comments about whether or not a woman would engage in anonymous anal sex without a condom. Surely no one really thinks that taking a blast in the back door is any riskier that vaginal sex? Why the difference here? I have heard the arguments about absorption into the bloodstream being a little easier through the colon, but I think we'd be splitting hairs on that one.

Re JD's last comment: thanks for clearing that up. It did not make sense to me that you simply wanted to get straight to the heat. Beginning a story "in medias res" is a tradition that dates back to Homer (and probably further). I do understand what you're getting at, and the opening could be a little snappier. By the way, I also very much admire that bastard Hemingway.

Also, with regard to whether "half full" takes a hyphen. The words are often written separately when the adjective is in the predicate, although using it can imply a closer unity between the two notions. I'd say either way is acceptable.

Unlike you, JD, my many flights into Boston have never once been fog-bound. Perhaps I've been lucky on that account. I would agree it would be a surreal and somewhat unsettling landing to suddenly emerge from fog into the post-apocalyptic mess that is Logan airport.

By the way, Christo, I'm flying from Boston to Seattle next Tuesday. I'll save you a seat; you're responsible for the condoms.

 

[karmadog]

"shoulders an axe-handle across"-- I agree it's archaic, but I think you've taken enough crap for it.

"...tiger's eye suited her--a tiger's eye for a tigress of a woman"-- this struck me as talking down to your audience. All that was necessary was to say that it suited her, we'll figure out the allusion.

With regards to the first paragraphs, I had no problem with setting the scene, but some of the lines didn't feel natural. The line beginning "She had an easy confident air about her..." particularly feels forced. Not that part but the stuff about the chairs. I pictured you sitting at your computer thinking that the more specificly I describe the scene, the more believable the story will be. This is not necessarily true. Compare your descriptions of the plane itself and the description of the waiting area. The plane (which is actually important to the story) is described with almost zen strokes. The waiting area (not at all important) is etched like a Durer. I prefer the plane.

The anal section, I'm with you. It's believable enough even allowing for the absence of lubricant. Fantasy allows for a lot.

All in all, I really liked the story. From an erotica standpoint, you seamlessly incorporated a lot of sexy situations into one story. Voyeurism, vaginal, anal, screwing another's woman, exhibitionism, and, of course, the mile high club.

It just occured to me that you might have added the bit at the terminal last. It just doesn't flow as well as the rest.

 

[The_old_man]

As a teen ager traveling alone, from N.Y. to Ohio, I did observe a woman give her companion a blow job. I have also personally had intercourse while on a Greyhound Bus. Back seat, before toilets.

I therefore found the discription of the sex on the plane very believable. The detail in the terminal, perhaps excessive.

Overall, a very good story.

 

[Guest]

good job, you had me in the next seat watching the entire event. Keep up the good work- you can only get better on the ladder of success, and you are well off the ground now.

 

[Whispersecret]

KM asked if the erotica genre encouraged lazy writing? I'd say yes and no. Yes, because a lot of people are reading stories on this site and others and saying to themselves, "Hey, I can write like that." And they can, because a lot of what is written is amateur and poorly done.

And yet, if we're going to talk about writers like those participating in this forum, who care about their craft and are striving to improve their skill, I think that the genre challenges us to write better. Inherent in this genre is the fact that many of the stories delve into fantasy. Suspension of disbelief is par for the course because readers want to vicariously experience sexual encounters they can't otherwise experience. Because of this, I think writers of erotica are forced to balance the fantasy aspect with realism. If we don't, the reader all to easily can be jolted into the "Yeah right" frame of mind that KM mentioned.

I think that in the long run it's just boils down to a writer's own sense of what will come off as believeable and whether that coincides with the general reader's sense of what's believable.

Maquinna, I haven't read your story, and I'm not sure if I'll have time, but even so, I hope you don't mind my chiming in on this topic. (My critiques are usually detailed and time consuming. Forgive me. )

 

[artful]

Newly Discovered

As I am new to literotica,its taking me a while to investigate ALL there is,but I am ejoying this thread to the MAX.Please dont let this unravel !

 

[Whispersecret]

Okay, took a bit of time this morning while my kids were wrestling.

I liked this story. The sex was hot and the writing was solid. In fact, as I was reading it I forgot that I was analyzing it, which is excellent. Just a few things:

I had no idea the narrator was male until paragraph 6 when his dick got hard. Big surprise. LOL. I assumed because of the author's name, Maquinna, that it was a woman telling the story. Perhaps this is my fault, assuming a female author will write in a female pov. (And for all I know Maquinna is a male name.) But even so, it might be a good idea if you're writing a story in first person to take into account that the reader might assume what I did and clarify the sex of the narrator right off the bat.

Loved this line: "twin bullets of her hardened nipples protruding through the fabric covering them"

"rocking the the belly of the boat"-- What I got from that was an image of someone in a small fishing boat, lazily rocking in the warmth of the summer sun. It suggested to me that the narrator thought that sex with her would be the same sort of experience, leisurely and pleasant, which does sort of contradict his image of her as a tigress of a woman. Some of the other similies were more on target, but this one didn't jar me as it did some of the other critics.

The dialogue you used was effective. In this type of furtive setting, you don't have much opportunity for dialogue, so understandably you didn't have much.

For the record, my diatribe on dialogue was really all about punctuation and not much else.

I saw no ambiguous ending. You could easily have used a period though. The ending had closure appropriate for this story. I couldn't picture the tiger's eye pendant swaying though just from her breathing.

My suspension of disbelief was never jeopardized. (Well, except for the fact that I have doubts that two people can even fit in an airplane lavatory, let alone fuck.) I had already characterized the woman as a very sexually liberated woman, based on the fact that she put on a show for the narrator. In this type of story I go into it expecting events to unfold that don't usually happen in real life. I don't think you stepped over the line of credibility. If she had initiated a threesome with the stewardess or something like that, I may have balked. But as the story stands, I had no problem with it.

I think this was a fine story for a first time effort. I gave it a five, which I rarely do.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

You've already received a lot of good input from folks who seem to know something about writing. I'll spare you a re-hash of what they've said, and just point out one technical glitch I may have discovered. The following are excerpts from your admirable first effort.

"I moved towards the back of the plane, away from most everyone else, and took a seat in the last aisle,

"I would head into the lavatory to finish the job. The overhead light, however, indicated that it was occupied. I was forced to wait several minutes

"I wasn't in there ten seconds before a soft rap came at the door."

1. He's sitting in the back row.
2. No one has walked past him, yet the overhead, occupied light is on. Therefore, this plane must not have a rear lavatory.
3. From her seat in the last row, it takes her only 10 seconds to reach the lavatory door.

My question is, of course, just where is that blasted airborne latrine?

This makes me feel just like Inspector Cleuseau. RF