THRIVE ~ More Than Survivors

[Wild_Honey_66]

For those who have been through or are living with abuse of all sorts, and for anyone interested in being a part of this conversation.

Get ready for some real talk, folks.

............................

HELPFUL LINKS

Threads on abuse and mental health issues in the How To
https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=8274289&postcount=10
https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=8274299&postcount=11

Threads on mental health issues from the BDSM boards
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=814617
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1462857

Depression thread from the Lit Personals
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1497808

Just generally lovely, encouraging threads on the PG:
(Stay tuned... )

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Lets start with something easy - practical help.

Do you know what's available in your area if someone were in need? Do you know what services they provide, what hours they're open, if they have a hotline, what their phone numbers are?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Hugs, Honey

Hugs back, you badass mama.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I worked for years in mental health, and part of my job was connecting people in crisis with resources that could help them in our community. Often times, that involved people that were survivors of abuse either needing to get to a shelter, needing funds to get them into a better situation, providing transportation to these places, or just being a supportive ear to listen...really anything that they needed. There truly is a lot of help out there that many people might be surprised to find.

Awesome!

 

[barefootgirl69]

For those who have been through or are living with abuse of all sorts, and for anyone interested in being a part of this conversation.

Get ready for some real talk, folks.

Lets start with something easy - practical help.

Do you know what's available in your area if someone were in need? Do you know what services they provide, what hours they're open, if they have a hotline, what their phone numbers are?

Excellent thread, Honey!

Yes, I know their number both in the town I currently live in and my former one.

The first time I got a number was when I had my former husband arrested. Since then, I want to give back to others in my community and I'm involved in my local area.

Did you know that they take donations? There are families who are in places for their safety, who have clothing needs, personal needs. Anyone can call their local shelter and ask to meet someone to give donations.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I recently found out that both our local suicide prevention and domestic violence hotlines are staffed by laypeople. Their job is to lend an ear, and offer resource contact info.

I was surprised, and not a little disappointed. Is that usual?

 

[barefootgirl69]

Yes. The crisis hotlines here are the same. I would occasionally work answering the phones when multiple calls came in at once. It was by far the most stressful and worrisome part of my job - I was always scared of not having the right words to say. Fortunately, listening is 99% of it and makes a world of difference to someone who needs to be heard.

Where's the LIKE button?

 

[LikeableMe]

Lets start with something easy - practical help.

Do you know what's available in your area if someone were in need? Do you know what services they provide, what hours they're open, if they have a hotline, what their phone numbers are?

I have the details for these in my area - and more. I’m in contact with them for personal reasons, and also I used to be the manager of a support network for abuse survivors, so I have access to links and contact info wider than my own personal needs.

(A little more than I like to admit here, but may explain some of my posts!)

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I have the details for these in my area - and more. I’m in contact with them for personal reasons, and also I used to be the manager of a support network for abuse survivors, so I have access to links and contact info wider than my own personal needs.

(A little more than I like to admit here, but may explain some of my posts!)

Welcome

Do whatever you're comfortable with!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Yes. The crisis hotlines here are the same. I would occasionally work answering the phones when multiple calls came in at once. It was by far the most stressful and worrisome part of my job - I was always scared of not having the right words to say. Fortunately, listening is 99% of it and makes a world of difference to someone who needs to be heard.

Listening can be huge.

I do wish, however, that they would clarify what purpose the hotline serves. I have a(n adult) daughter who lives with suicidal tendencies and had called the hotline expecting... idk, something more. Anyway, it was a good lesson, and now we know.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Do you find that some types of abuse are more difficult to talk about than others?

Do you feel that there is more of a stigma attached to certain kinds?

 

[LikeableMe]

Do you find that some types of abuse are more difficult to talk about than others?

Do you feel that there is more of a stigma attached to certain kinds?

It’s all difficult for me to talk about, I remember when I tried to get help, and I would cry so hard at saying the words that I wouldn’t be able to breathe, and the people who were supposed to help would snap at me for taking so long to get my words out. I was treated like a tick box exercise - there was a massive lack of compassion.

Now I’m going to hide behind the fact I worked in the area myself, and say that I find familial abuse is very, very misunderstood/denied. People don’t want to believe that families could do that to each other. I spoke to an organisation who are pretty well known, and asked them to conduct research in this area, which they’ve been doing for a couple of years since.

 

[LikeableMe]

Is it okay if I ask a question?

One thing that I’m concerned with lately is hyper vigilance. I’ve become so used to having to read rooms and look for small/unspoken signs of trouble, that I do it with anyone I get close to. I used to just walk away from people, but I’m aware of it now, so a little more cautious, but it causes me a lot of anxiety, as I don’t know whether things are warnings signs, or just me being hyper vigilant. I keep meaning to get in touch with the helplines I know to discuss it, but some days I just can’t handle talking to them.

Anyone else deal with this?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

It’s all difficult for me to talk about, I remember when I tried to get help, and I would cry so hard at saying the words that I wouldn’t be able to breathe, and the people who were supposed to help would snap at me for taking so long to get my words out. I was treated like a tick box exercise - there was a massive lack of compassion.

Now I’m going to hide behind the fact I worked in the area myself, and say that I find familial abuse is very, very misunderstood/denied. People don’t want to believe that families could do that to each other. I spoke to an organisation who are pretty well known, and asked them to conduct research in this area, which they’ve been doing for a couple of years since.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I'm going to keep throwing out quick thoughts and questions, and do some longer replies later when i have time to ponder.

Q. Have you ever had a 'go bag'? What would you suggest someone put in theirs?

 

[LikeableMe]

I'm going to keep throwing out quick thoughts and questions, and do some longer replies later when i have time to ponder.

Q. Have you ever had a 'go bag'? What would you suggest someone put in theirs?

Most important would be identification documents. That’s always the first thing recommended. Some money, if possible.

 

[AlwaysFara]

National Domestic Abuse Hotline Number

1-800-799-safe

 

[LikeableMe]

1-800-799-safe

0808 2000 247 In the uk

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Q. Are there words you don't like to use, because of their negative connotations?

I don't like the words abuse or victim or rape. Partly because i think it is a self-defense mechanism to want to distance myself from anything that feels like it hits too close to the bone. Partly because when you use certain words, the majority of people react negatively, either from ignorance, or disbelief, or discomfort, or whatever . Sorrynotsorry, but they do. You have to be prepared to be treated as a leper if you are going to come out about your experience.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Most important would be identification documents. That’s always the first thing recommended. Some money, if possible.

1-800-799-safe

0808 2000 247 In the uk

Thank you, ladies.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

What has been the response you've gotten from the people in your circles when you came forward about your experience?

Did they believe you? Were they sympathetic?

Did they offer support of any kind? Did they follow through?

Were you ever made to feel as though it was somehow your fault? Or your problem to live with, or to solve on your own?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Do you know any men who have experienced sexual assault or abuse of some sort?

Do you find they are open about discussing it?

 

[LucianaGrace]

A very brave and needed thread, Honey. Thank you for creating a platform for a much needed discussion.

I don’t feel brave enough to contribute, and doubt I have anything useful to add. But I just wanted to show my support for you, the cause, and the thread.

Thank you, again.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Lots of questions.

Do you know what's available in your area if someone were in need? Do you know what services they provide, what hours they're open, if they have a hotline, what their phone numbers are?

I was raised to not ask for help when I needed to. Back in the day when it happened, I thought it was normal. Nowadays I realize it wasn't and I try to do my best to cope.

Do you find that some types of abuse are more difficult to talk about than others?
Do you feel that there is more of a stigma attached to certain kinds?

I think all abuses are difficult to talk about unless there are ways to disclose due to others around or other situations.

One thing that I’m concerned with lately is hyper vigilance. I’ve become so used to having to read rooms and look for small/unspoken signs of trouble, that I do it with anyone I get close to. I used to just walk away from people, but I’m aware of it now, so a little more cautious, but it causes me a lot of anxiety, as I don’t know whether things are warnings signs, or just me being hyper vigilant. I keep meaning to get in touch with the helplines I know to discuss it, but some days I just can’t handle talking to them.

Anyone else deal with this?

I always seem to be a ton more aware then some. I always get more anxious around strangers or strange surroundings just to be on the safe side.

Q. Are there words you don't like to use, because of their negative connotations?

I have a hard time with words like molest, abuse, many of those words really.

Do you know any men who have experienced sexual assault or abuse of some sort?

Do you find they are open about discussing it?

My generation was always told to man up when things happened. It's one reason I have a hard time sharing my experiences in this area. The one thing my past has taught me was to show my daughter how to protect herself and keeping the line of communications open so I can support her. I think that was the biggest lesson I got from my experiences.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I'm going to keep throwing out quick thoughts and questions, and do some longer replies later when i have time to ponder.

Q. Have you ever had a 'go bag'? What would you suggest someone put in theirs?

Yep. I learned I could leave in less than 30 minutes if needed.

Travel size items like tooth brush and paste. I kept these under the sink in a bag that I could grab.

Clothes I wasn't concerned too much with, but I kept a basket of folded clothes that I would rotate through, that could be grabbed. My things, kids things.

A list of all current medicines and their refill numbers. I still take pictures of the bottles to have all the information.

I had a file box "conveniently" kept near the door with birth certificates, car titles, marriage license, EVERYTHING.