Threesome advice (MFF)

[Dakoop]

I'm curious if anyone here who has experienced a threesome would mind offering advice on their experience?

My wife has been Bi-curious since her teens and has fantasized about it often. Lately (since I've been hanging around on Lit) I've brought the subject up again and it really worked her up and she practically devoured me. Since then we've talked about it often and she seems to be close to being ready to go for it.
Only problem is we aren't sure how to go about it. We aren't plugged into a swinging scene here so we are on our own. I'm not really advertising for a willing woman yet, just asking for advice.

Thanks.

DK

 

[Dakoop]

Bump

Hydrate by drinking a lot of Gatorade and eat a Kit Kat bar for energy?





DK

 

[Sensual Man 05]

Whatever you do, concentrate more on your wife than the other girl. She'd probably get really pissed if you seemed more interested in the third party. That's just what I'm thinking. Maybe i'm wrong hell.

 

[RawHumor]

I've heard that they're much better when you're not in a real relationship.

As previously mentioned, pay a LOT of attention to your wife... maybe even to the point of letting her dictate all of the action. The last thing you want is for her to have this burning image in her mind of you fucking the other woman, and have her comparing herself to the other woman and feeling jealous and bitter afterward.

 

[kickboxqueen]

I agree w/ all the comments mentioned. I'm a female and I am very bicurious, i love going to strip clubs and getting lap dances, i even love my boyfriend watching.. but i would not find it amusing at all to see the girl dancing on him and not me..

 

[jpp87-5]

Threesome

Having been in the "Swinging Scene" several years ago (but not anymore unfortuately)myself, I feel that you seem to be asking for advice as to how to get started. The advice to pay attention to your wife more than the other girl is the best advice I can think of. Next, to get started , check the WEB for Swingers clubs in the Rhode Island area. You may be surprised to find them in your own back yard so to speak. On the other hand, you might want to search for an area not too far away but someplace you are unlikely to meet someone you know. Most swingers are very kind and considerate people and will not push you to do things you are not ready to do or feel comfortable with. In a way this is a much safer approach than trying to find a friend who might be interested and seeing how things develope. With friends and acquaintances you have to face them afterwards eventually. I am lucky to still have a close male friend who had threesome sex with my wife and me almost 30 years ago. Not eveyone can be that lucky. Good luck have fun and help your wife enjoy the experience without feeling threatened.

 

[shadowrnr]

?????

Hi, I’m not a swinger, I just happen to stumble on to this thread. And I may be sticking my nose where it don’t belong but I have a question my self. The advice of giving the wife more attention, sounds as solid advice to me from a relationship stand point. My question is this: what about the other woman? how is she going to feel not getting the same attention? I mean after all she is a person right? Not just a toy brought into the sex. Again don’t get me wrong the advice is good for the relationship. But, if the wife is not going to be able to handle the other woman being given the same amount of attention then maybe swinging is not really the best thing for her. If the main concern is the fulfillment of her bi-curiosity might it not just be better to allow her the opportunity to explore that with a one on one with a female?

I mean no disrespect to the good advice given really, but I do have personal reasons for bringing up this questions, and am willing to explain them should any one want an explanation.

 

[Sensual Man 05]

Hi, I’m not a swinger, I just happen to stumble on to this thread. And I may be sticking my nose where it don’t belong but I have a question my self. The advice of giving the wife more attention, sounds as solid advice to me from a relationship stand point. My question is this: what about the other woman? how is she going to feel not getting the same attention? I mean after all she is a person right? Not just a toy brought into the sex. Again don’t get me wrong the advice is good for the relationship. But, if the wife is not going to be able to handle the other woman being given the same amount of attention then maybe swinging is not really the best thing for her. If the main concern is the fulfillment of her bi-curiosity might it not just be better to allow her the opportunity to explore that with a one on one with a female?

I mean no disrespect to the good advice given really, but I do have personal reasons for bringing up this questions, and am willing to explain them should any one want an explanation.

Hey those are interesting points, shadowrnr. My thought was that the third person would understand that he/she is, well, as you put it, the sex toy. Hmmm. I guess it would require communication at the onset about everyone's roles in the threesome. I think a candid conversation with the third party would go far to treat that person as a human being.

And as far as the woman wanting to satisfy her bi-curiousity, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Perhaps the male should rethink his role, eh? Perhaps he should make sure he's really wanted as a participant.

 

[shadowrnr]

Hey those are interesting points, shadowrnr. My thought was that the third person would understand that he/she is, well, as you put it, the sex toy. Hmmm. I guess it would require communication at the onset about everyone's roles in the threesome. I think a candid conversation with the third party would go far to treat that person as a human being.

And as far as the woman wanting to satisfy her bi-curiousity, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Perhaps the male should rethink his role, eh? Perhaps he should make sure he's really wanted as a participant.

Again I apologize for intruding, after reading your response at my comment I realized that I had spoken strictly from emotions brought on from being reminded of a not so pleasant past personal experience. I was not thinking about the fact that there are those who don’t mind and some that even enjoy just being “the toy”, and there is nothing wrong with that. I also agree with you on the communication, as I feel it is the key to any and all human interaction.

On further review of my comment on her bi-curiosity I will stand by it and even go on to say that I think she should be alone with a woman first. My rationale is this, if she is curious about sex with another woman, not until she does have sex with a woman, will she be able to really know if she is truly straight, bi, or gay. Lets face it many people have been bi-curious and once having their first same sex experience they come to find that they are actually gay and not just bi. Would a person really want to have their spouse present if they find out they find this out? Would a person really want to be present when their spouse finds out they prefer the same sex to them? All sexual interaction carries some level of emotion attached. It is for this reason that I believe that all sexuality should be explored on a one on one basis before engaging with multiple partners.

 

[Inna]

Hope it is ok for a female to check in. Personally I would love to watch my man with another women. Just want to sit in the corner and see them get off.
Now if I was with them in the bed, you are all absolutely right that I would want more attention than her. A total insult if he acted like she was more fun or more attractive.

 

[nikkiblue]

I invited someon to try this and I think I scared him.I wanted to fuck him and his girlfriend.He said no.So i am thinking either he was not into it.,or his girl does not know that he fucks around on her.So i tried with someone else and he said yes.Different man,different woman.That other girl has got to be the dumbest thing on the planet.As they say,ignorance is bliss.

 

[Sensual Man 05]

Hope it is ok for a female to check in. Personally I would love to watch my man with another women. Just want to sit in the corner and see them get off.
Now if I was with them in the bed, you are all absolutely right that I would want more attention than her. A total insult if he acted like she was more fun or more attractive.

Baby, I would not want to share you with another man or woman!

 

[Inna]

Baby, I would not want to share you with another man or woman!

Lol, you have a gf!

 

[sxylilslut]

...
On further review of my comment on her bi-curiosity I will stand by it and even go on to say that I think she should be alone with a woman first. ...

I was going to suggest that.

 

[Sensual Man 05]

Lol, you have a gf!

LOL well that would present a problem.

 

[nikkiblue]

Lol, you have a gf!

that doesnt stop em sweetie.Trust me,i know.

 

[nikkiblue]

LOL well that would present a problem.

sure it would,maybe she would want to share.

 

[gingermango]

GoddessO and I have had some success with commercial swinging/swapping sites. AdultFriendFinder, in particular, has given us several great friends and couples to play with - we'd have even more if we just had the time to play more. I see many, many profiles for couples seeking single female playmates, as well as many for single women seeking couples to play with themselves. Of course, you have to weed through lots of crap to find good people you'd actually want to meet and hook up with, but how is that really any different than a bar or club? And it lets you exchange casual emails, explore wants and limits, exchange pics and phone numbers and stuff before you commit to meeting. If it doesn't work out, there are hundreds or thousands more people out there in any given geographical area.

Good luck with making your wife's fantasies happen.

 

[Dakoop]

Thank you all for your advice.

There are some very good points being brought up here. My thinking was that my role in this would be more as a third wheel. It's really more for my wife (not that I wouldn't enjoy myself) then for me. She has already stated that she would like me present and we would see where things developed. I'm not really worried about her switching teams, if anything I think it will deny or confirm her feelings of bisexuality that she's had since a heavy petting experience with another girl in her teens.

I agree that there should be discussion with the third party as to boundaries and what everyone is looking for in the experience.


DK

 

[Lv2hvefn]

The Elusive SBiF

I get really excited watching my husband with another woman... nearly as excited as he gets watching me with another man.... we get off on each other's sexual energy and it ends up making us wild for each other.

First step, though, is talk, talk, talk. Swinging can really enhance a relationship of it can cause real problems. All depends on how in sync your wants and objectices are.

Next, why don't you check out www.swingersboard.com? Its not an ad site, but a forum. You can search under FFM and get the benefit of the advice and experience of hundreds of people, from green as grass to very seasoned.

Oh, and about that title.... in swinging what you are looking for is the elusive single bi female. Very rare bird. An easier play is to get toghether with another couple and let her explore her bi side that way.... or, if you are reallly secure, try an MMF. Much easier to set up and she will have the assurance that you are really into new experiences with her and her pleasure rather than just getting some strange.

 

[Dakoop]

I get really excited watching my husband with another woman... nearly as excited as he gets watching me with another man.... we get off on each other's sexual energy and it ends up making us wild for each other.

First step, though, is talk, talk, talk. Swinging can really enhance a relationship of it can cause real problems. All depends on how in sync your wants and objectices are.

Next, why don't you check out www.swingersboard.com? Its not an ad site, but a forum. You can search under FFM and get the benefit of the advice and experience of hundreds of people, from green as grass to very seasoned.

Oh, and about that title.... in swinging what you are looking for is the elusive single bi female. Very rare bird. An easier play is to get toghether with another couple and let her explore her bi side that way.... or, if you are reallly secure, try an MMF. Much easier to set up and she will have the assurance that you are really into new experiences with her and her pleasure rather than just getting some strange.

Thank you for your advice and the link.

Understanding what each of us expects from this before it ever starts is very important. Like anything in life there may always be unexpected consequences, but you fine folks are helping us approach this in a good way.

Thank you again,

DK

 

[Mich/Can]

My wife and i have had a few 3some, 4somes, and moresomes...the best thing i would say is, make sure your wife is having a little more fun than you. if she is happy then you are happy.

BTW we are always looking for people to have some more fun with. if you are in the Detroit area drop us a note.

James and Monica