Thread number four, 6-3-02

[Problem Child]

I am carving things into my computer table with my brand new Victorinox (tm) Swiss Army knife, Voyager model 1.3705.VT3.

http://www.victorinox.ch/newsite/images/produkte/voyager_gross.jpg


If you would like me to carve something into the solid cherrywood tabletop for you, please make a suggestion.

 

[Azwed]

Az is cooler then me.

 

[Private Vasquez]

what's that thing with the twisty plastic thing on it?

 

[Problem Child]

what's that thing with the twisty plastic thing on it?

It's a buttplug for barbie.

 

[Private Vasquez]

good thing...she needs one. That damn thing keeps leaking.

 

[red_rose]

good thing...she needs one. That damn thing keeps leaking.

Ew.

She's not a Betsy Wetsy! She's a Barbie!!

 

[Problem Child]

Private, it's actually a little tiny screwdriver for fixing eyeglasses. It screws into the corkscrew for storage.

 

[Private Vasquez]

oohh...sneaky.

I thought maybe it was the torso stretcher, or something.

 

[Sillyman]

There is too much shit on that knife. What the hell do I do when I need to stab somebody and I whip out the bottle opener?

 

[Problem Child]

There is too much shit on that knife. What the hell do I do when I need to stab somebody and I whip out the bottle opener?

I'll stab them with my .45 ACP and leave the knife in my pocket.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Were you a Boyscout?

 

[solid_]

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go! You get past me, the guy in back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off! I’ve got the toe clippers right here!

 

[Ezarc]

I think Zam has the best idea for the motto"Be Prepaired"
Take Care and Lust Always,
Ezarc

 

[Roy Batty]

Do Swiss soldiers actually fight or do they just fuck around with their knives?

 

[seXieleXie]

how much did that useless piece of junk cost you?

 

[Problem Child]

how much did that useless piece of junk cost you?

It was a gift, you whore.

 

[Problem Child]

Were you a Boyscout?

Yes, whore.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Bastard!

 

[cybergirly]

Is it odd that I think the coolest thing on that knife contraption is the digital clock? I mean come on that is to cool, a clock and a bottle opener. Wow...

 

[scylis]

impressive.

so how much do they pay you to fuck those bears?

 

[Laurel]

Carve a Taco Bell bean burrito.

 

[riff]

Nice knife.

We love it.

We love you.

Don't use it on yourself.

 

[EX-Member]

Um..... isn't today June second?


You know.....like in 6-2-02








....just wondering.....

 

[Cheyenne]

Private, it's actually a little tiny screwdriver for fixing eyeglasses. It screws into the corkscrew for storage.

You had to read the instructions to figure that out, didn't you?

 

[Problem Child]

Ruby: Yes, I was a Boy Scout. I was in Troop 69. No shit.

solid_: Yeah, but it's still a cool knife. It's the only silver one. I love the Swiss. Bitchin' cheese too.

leXie: I was kidding when I called you a whore, but you are still a slut.

Scylis: You confuse me. I'm not even attracted to bears.

Laurel: Ok.

Riff: I have no intention of harming myself. I like me too much.

Ex-member: You're correct. You really humiliated me there.

Cheyenne: No. It came all screwed in there like that.