This World Needs Some New Holiday Specials

[Dillinger]

I think we could all use some good cheer (or something) rammed down our throats.

The following ideas came from Maxim Magazine:

Eminem's Yuletide Dis Fest

This variety special is fun for the whole family, as music's angriest superstar welcomes a who's who of people who piss him off! Watch him lay season's beatings on his mom, who never loved him! See Moby's performance of O'Tannenbaum end wil Slim Shady kicking his bald vegan head! Feel the joy as a holiday message from Lynne Chenney is interupted by Em's invitation for the vice-presidential wife to kiss his ass!

 

[Dillinger]

A Very Naked Christmas

The economy forces North Pole cutbacks, so elves Candi and Rosie (famed exhibitionists Britney Spears and Alyssa Milano) are left without clothing. When they protest, a whip-wielding Mrs. Claus (Catherine Zeta-Jones) punishes them for their insolence. Luckily, they meet a friendly reindeer, who provides body heat, and a handy sled (Pamela Anderson). They soon learn that Christmas is all about love - with multiple partners!

 

[Dillinger]

Holiday Smackdown

Santa Claus is coming to town - for a no-holds-barred cage match with his fiercest enemy, Scrooge, live on pay-per-view. The bad blood started when Ebenezer blindsided St. Nick with a folding chair. now it's personal. "God bless us everyone," says Scrooge. "Except that jolly fat man - he's mine!" For his part, Santa predicts easy victory "Humbug Boy messed with the wrong saint... if you can smell what the Claus is cookin!"

 

[PacificBlue]

To think that you haven't been snapped up by some high powered marketing agency.

 

[Dillinger]

A Middle-Aged Charlie Brown Christmas

As the holidays near the aging Peanuts gang struggle with the loss of virility, enthusiasm, and speech ("WAH-wah-WAH-wah-wah-WAH," cries Linus in one poignant scene). Fifty-year-old virgin Charlie Brown is still looking for the true meaning of Christmas - by stalking the little red-haired girl (now a red-haired mother of four). Meanwhile, Snoopy, now 364 in dog years, just pees on the fruitcake.

 

[Dillinger]

Lil' Kim's Khristmas Ho Fest

Lil' Kim, Christina Aguilera, Pink and Mya get into the holiday spirit by wrestling naked in a big vat of orange marmalade.

 

[teddybear4play]

Lil' Kim's Khristmas Ho Fest

Lil' Kim, Christina Aguilera, Pink and Mya get into the holiday spirit by wrestling naked in a big vat of orange marmalade.

Sounds like fun. Gichee gichee yaya.

TB4p