This is why one reason gay marriage is important

[Stella_Omega]

So that lifelong partners can be at their loved one's sides in medical emergencies.

 

[Xelebes]

Post at least an excerpt? The site requires a subscription.

 

[Safe_Bet]

When a loved one is in the hospital, you naturally want to be at the bedside. But what if the staff won’t allow it?

That’s what Janice Langbehn, a social worker in Lacey, Wash., says she experienced when her partner of 18 years, Lisa Pond, collapsed with an aneurysm during a Florida vacation and was taken to a Miami trauma center. She died there, at age 39, as Ms. Langbehn tried in vain to persuade hospital officials to let her visit, along with the couple’s adopted children.

“I have this deep sense of failure for not being at Lisa’s bedside when she died,” Ms. Langbehn said. “How I get over that I don’t know, or if I ever do.”

The case, now the subject of a federal lawsuit in Florida, is being watched by gay rights groups, which say same-sex partners often report being excluded from a patient’s room because they aren’t “real” family members.

Been there had that done to me... And people wonder why I get so angry...

It's a fucking travesty when they freakin KNOW that is your spouse in there and they pull cheap ass tricks to keep you from being with your loved one. Fucking asshole!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Been there had that done to me... And people wonder why I get so angry...

It's a fucking travesty when they freakin KNOW that is your spouse in there and they pull cheap ass tricks to keep you from being with your loved one. Fucking asshole!

I hope that they just plain fire that hospital up! That is so cold and mean-spirited that I can't even type straight.

 

[TE999]

Been there had that done to me... And people wonder why I get so angry...

It's a fucking travesty when they freakin KNOW that is your spouse in there and they pull cheap ass tricks to keep you from being with your loved one. Fucking asshole!

Who the fuck are the hospital staff to determine who's family and who isn't...that 'rule' went out with fins on cars. It's the 21st Century fr' chrissake. They're there to keep people alive, not make value judgements. From what Seacat says, a lot of nurses are copper bottomed bitches and petty tyrants. That's who I want to determine who sees me when I'm hurting...or dying.

She should'a just barged in there and made them throw her out. I hope she wins in court.

 

[Stella_Omega]

More quotes;

As recounted by Ms. Langbehn, the details of the Miami episode are harrowing. It began in February 2007, when the family — including three children, then ages 9, 11 and 13 — traveled there for a cruise. After boarding the ship, Ms. Pond collapsed while taking pictures of the children playing basketball.

The children managed to help her back to the family’s room. Fortunately, the ship was still docked, and an ambulance took Ms. Pond to the Ryder Trauma Center at Jackson Memorial. Ms. Langbehn and the children followed in a taxi, arriving around 3:30 p.m.

Ms. Langbehn says that a hospital social worker informed her that she was in an “antigay city and state” and that she would need a health care proxy to get information. (The worker denies having made the statement, Mr. Alonso said.) As the social worker turned to leave, Ms. Langbehn stopped him. “I said: ‘Wait a minute. I have those health care proxies,’ ” she said. She called a friend to fax the papers.

The medical chart shows that the documents arrived around 4:15 p.m., but nobody immediately spoke to Ms. Langbehn about Ms. Pond’s condition. During her eight-hour stay in the trauma unit waiting room, Ms. Langbehn says, she had two brief encounters with doctors. Around 5:20 a doctor sought her consent for a “brain monitor” but offered no update about the patient’s condition. Around 6:20, two doctors told her there was no hope for a recovery.

Despite repeated requests to see her partner, Ms. Langbehn says she was given just one five-minute visit, when a priest administered last rites. She says she continued to plead with a hospital worker that the children be allowed to see their mother, even showing the children’s birth certificates.

“I said to the receptionist, ‘Look, they’re her kids,’ ” Ms. Langbehn said. (Mr. Alonso, the hospital spokesman, says that except in special circumstances, children under 14 are not allowed to visit in the trauma unit.)

Ms. Langbehn says she was repeatedly told to keep waiting. Then, at 11:30 p.m., Ms. Pond’s sister arrived at the unit. According to the lawsuit, the hospital workers immediately told her that Ms. Pond had been moved an hour earlier to the intensive care unit and provided her room number.

At midnight, Ms. Langbehn says, her exhausted children were finally able to visit their unconscious mother. Ms. Pond was declared brain-dead at 10:45 that morning, and her heart, kidneys and liver were donated to four patients.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The quick remedy is to see a lawyer and get the paperwork done to make all this stuff binding.

STELLAs argument is a red herring.

 

[Boota]

I don't think any amount of legal paperwork would persuade them not to use their secret weapon of "family only" in discriminating against a homosexual couple. Sure, there would be an even better foundation for the lawsuit, but a hospital that holds onto a policy like that and enforces it in such a way isn't going to roll over that easy. We have a Catholic hospital here that always did things like that. Not sure if they still do.

 

[rengadeirishman]

whenever i start to hate people less, they always find a way to make me change my mind.

astonishing really.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I don't think any amount of legal paperwork would persuade them not to use their secret weapon of "family only" in discriminating against a homosexual couple. Sure, there would be an even better foundation for the lawsuit, but a hospital that holds onto a policy like that and enforces it in such a way isn't going to roll over that easy. We have a Catholic hospital here that always did things like that. Not sure if they still do.

Power of Attorney will do it.

Most hospitals I know of wont let anyone through the gate without security scrutiny. So you get a legal Power of Attorney Order, wave it at the Rent A Cop and go visit your life partner. AND Almost always patients declare a list of approved visitors at admission.

So the argument is bullshit. Get the power of attorney and fill out the nice list.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

whenever i start to hate people less, they always find a way to make me change my mind.

astonishing really.

You talk like youre some prize anyone wants.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I don't think any amount of legal paperwork would persuade them not to use their secret weapon of "family only" in discriminating against a homosexual couple. Sure, there would be an even better foundation for the lawsuit, but a hospital that holds onto a policy like that and enforces it in such a way isn't going to roll over that easy. We have a Catholic hospital here that always did things like that. Not sure if they still do.

You're right, Boota. When Amy was in the hospital the MF'ers HAD to finally let me in (even though the freakin' asshole security guard initially refused because he was too stupid to understand a Power of Attorney). However, even though she had left SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS about allowing the kids in to see her, we had to raise holy hell to get the fucksticks to allow them in because kids DON'T have Power of Attorneys and they couldn't be her children because they were being accompanied by their mother.

Oh, there were apologies all over the place as soon as Amy was awake and the hospital administration was screamed at and law suits and news reporters were mentioned, but by then we had two little girls who were terrified because they couldn't see their "Poppi."

To me that constitutes nothing less than mental abuse by a bunch of homophobic assholes, making the whole episode a hate crime. (Oh, and they sent the security guard and Floor Nursing Supervisor to "Sensitivity Training" = big freakin whoop! )

 

[Saucy_Sage]

I totally agree. Hospitals fall all over themselves to protect their asses in these cases and then let other people wander the hallways at will.

Another reason: better music.

 

[Handley_Page]

I think that, perhaps, a good definition of "marriage" in relation to same-sex relationships might clear some fog. We have "civil partnerships" in the UK which does for partners what marriage does for heteros IN THE LEGAL SENSE.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I think that, perhaps, a good definition of "marriage" in relation to same-sex relationships might clear some fog. We have "civil partnerships" in the UK which does for partners what marriage does for heteros IN THE LEGAL SENSE.

But the legal sense is insufficient. A bureaucratic "sensible solution" will not satisfy the emotional needs of the individuals nor will it admit them into 'normal' society. What possible excuse can there be for denying them that?

 

[Saucy_Sage]

But the legal sense is insufficient. A bureaucratic "sensible solution" will not satisfy the emotional needs of the individuals nor will it admit them into 'normal' society. What possible excuse can there be for denying them that?

A legal solution is all that the government should be able to offer...

 

[Safe_Bet]

I think that, perhaps, a good definition of "marriage" in relation to same-sex relationships might clear some fog. We have "civil partnerships" in the UK which does for partners what marriage does for heteros IN THE LEGAL SENSE.

A legal solution is all that the government should be able to offer...

SS I agree with you. IF it is a real, equal solution. 99.999% of the Civil Unions currently available are watered down bullshit. I should be accord the EXACT same rights as a hetero person receives. How many hetero couples need to carry around a copy of their freakin Power of Attorney in their purse? It's bullshit!

 

[Safe_Bet]

But the legal sense is insufficient. A bureaucratic "sensible solution" will not satisfy the emotional needs of the individuals nor will it admit them into 'normal' society. What possible excuse can there be for denying them that?

Thank you bear. YOU get it. We don't want the government to mandate anything religious. What we want is equality. THAT will meet our legal AND emotional needs!

 

[CharleyH]

So that lifelong partners can be at their loved one's sides in medical emergencies.

There are also many other reasons. One is the freedom to love.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

A legal solution is all that the government should be able to offer...

Only if the "legal solution" is the same for everybody! If same-sex couples are accorded only a 'civil partnership' then hetero couples should only be allowed the same . . . by law.

 

[Liar]

But the legal sense is insufficient. A bureaucratic "sensible solution" will not satisfy the emotional needs of the individuals nor will it admit them into 'normal' society. What possible excuse can there be for denying them that?

None other than that's in the grey zone between faith business and legal business. Question is, will that admission into 'normal' society come with semantics? I doubt it. Haters won't stop hatin' just because someone rewrote the dictionary around them.

I say abolish marriage as a legal term. Keep only a gender neutral definition that lets adults chose each other as their mutual next-of-kin.

And let churches have whatever symbolic rituals they want. I'll bet you'll find at least a handful of congregations that are open to the idea of joining a gay couple in front of God. More kudos to them.

 

[Handley_Page]

Only if the "legal solution" is the same for everybody! If same-sex couples are accorded only a 'civil partnership' then hetero couples should only be allowed the same . . . by law.

They are. Over here there was, for quite a while, a long campaign to make some sort of legal equality for same-sex; the purpose was for Pensions, Wills, Insurances, and all that legal stuff.

So for the ANY purpose, the legal partner has the same rights as the spouse.

Quite why Florida (?) seems to think it not proper to consider the needs of those closest to the injured, I don't know but I feel a legal beagle might find something.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

None other than that's in the grey zone between faith business and legal business. Question is, will that admission into 'normal' society come with semantics? I doubt it. Haters won't stop hatin' just because someone rewrote the dictionary around them.

I say abolish marriage as a legal term. Keep only a gender neutral definition that lets adults chose each other as their mutual next-of-kin.

And let churches have whatever symbolic rituals they want. I'll bet you'll find at least a handful of congregations that are open to the idea of joining a gay couple in front of God. More kudos to them.

Handful? Entire denominations accept the idea and will provide blessings (which, BTW, is the only legal thing that they actually provide) for same-sex couples. While your solution is logical, human beings are not and we have a much greater chance of getting same-sex marriage legalized than we have of abolishing 'marriage' as a legal term.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

They are. Over here there was, for quite a while, a long campaign to make some sort of legal equality for same-sex; the purpose was for Pensions, Wills, Insurances, and all that legal stuff.

So for the ANY purpose, the legal partner has the same rights as the spouse.

Quite why Florida (?) seems to think it not proper to consider the needs of those closest to the injured, I don't know but I feel a legal beagle might find something.

And hopefully will be able to convince the federal judge of his arguments! As a Californian I consider in only right and proper that the Fed should slap Florida around . . . preferably on a regular basis!

But not, of course, Lit Floridians. Just the government and chamber of commerce.

 

[CharleyH]

Only if the "legal solution" is the same for everybody! If same-sex couples are accorded only a 'civil partnership' then hetero couples should only be allowed the same . . . by law.

true.