This is not a political thread. This thread is about baseball and the World Series.

[SusanJillParker]

Okay, I admit that I picked and backed the wrong horse in this multi-billion dollar (pennant) race. I rooted for the um, the wrong team, the Cleveland Indians. I had given them my vote to win. Only, now that they lost, life is just crazy.

The media, I mean, the bookies got it all wrong, didn't they? Now, I don't know what to expect and who to trust. How will my life personally change? Will the rich continue to get richer or will there be a baseball mitt under everyone's tree at Christmas? I seriously doubt it. I'll be lucky to have some stale popcorn to decorate my Charlie Brown tree, the only tree I can now afford to buy.

'Poor me. Woe is me.'

"Batter up! Play ball or not, it's still your choice, kind of, not really, well, not at all."

I always knew there were lots of stupid people in the world but I didn't know how many stupid people lived in my country until...um, the Cubs won.

'Yeah, that's it. This is all about the Cubs.'

I can't believe they parked all those dump trunks filled with sand around Arena Stadium. Fearing riots, they may have been more of a chance for riots had the other team won, if you know what I mean.

Now, with everything on the side of, um, Chicago, the minor league, if you know what I mean, the farm league, if you know what I mean, and the baseball commissioner, guess who, what chance do the rest of us have? The odds and the cards are stacked against us.

I heard there were already people planning to leave the country with some moving to Canada. Only God knows what will happened next year, over the next four years, and possibly eight years...um, when it comes to baseball.

I read Putin called Joe Maddon to congratulate him. Putin? Seriously? He was happy that he won. I guess they have become friends. I wonder if Joe will be visiting Russia any time soon. Now I wonder if Russia had anything to do with fixing the World Series in the way of the Chicago Black Sox scandal. Where's Pete Rose when you need him?

As much as he is known for his business savvy, sorry, I meant, baseball savvy, he is known for his young, beautiful wife, Melania, sorry, I meant to write his young, beautiful wife, Jaye, of course. Being that they're both the same age, 45-years-old, I always get them confused.

For what it's worth, God bless America because America will never be the same for your children and for your grandchildren because of, um, America's pastime...baseball.

'Oh, yeah. With Obama a basketball fan, baseball has permanently ruined this country.'

"Yeah, that's it. Baseball has not been good to me. Baseball now threatens to ruin my life. I just can't wait to watch the next Saturday Night Live, that is, if it's still allowed to broadcast to watch what they have to say about Maddon, Putin, and baseball."

George Orwell must be rolling over in his grave. For sure, he never would have expected the, um, Cubs to win. Maybe it's time for Comey to investigate them too.

 

[SusanJillParker]

I'm confused. I don't understand. I don't know what to do. I need your help.

I don't go out much. I'm always home earning money by writing stories for fans.

My girlfriends convinced me to have a drink at a sports' bar. They told me there'd be lots of men and there were. Only, in the way that men used to grab and grope my ass as I walked by them, three men stopped me in my tracks, reached under my short skirt, and grabbed my pussy through my panties.

"Hey! What the fuck?"

I haven't been out of commission that long but is grabbing a woman's pussy the new handshake or fist pump? Moreover, if a man grabs my pussy, does that give me the right to grab his cock?

Nah, that won't work. If I grabbed his cock, he'd think I was interested. I know, what if I just kneed him in the balls. Nah, that won't work. Some guys like that kind of rough play.

Now that it's seemingly okay for men to grab women's pussies, I wonder if when they see their female relatives if they grab their mother's, their sister's, their aunts, their cousin's, their grandmother's, the sister-in-law's, and/or their mother-in-law's pussies too. What about female co-workers? Is it acceptable to grab their pussies too?

"Good morning, Mom," said John grabbing his mother's pussy through her housecoat.

"Good morning, Sis," said John grabbing his sister's pussy through her nightgown.

"Nice to see you again, Auntie," said John grabbing his aunt's pussy through her pants.

"Hey, cousin," said John grabbing his cousin Sarah's pussy through her jeans.

"Hi grandma," said John grabbing his grandmother's pussy through her housecoat.

"How are you, Julie," said John grabbing his sister-in-law's pussy through her jeans.

"Hi, Mom," said John grabbing his mother-in-law's pussy through her dress.

"Good morning, Christine," said John grabbing the receptionist's pussy at work.

"How are you today, Carol," said John grabbing his female boss' pussy at work.

"Go wash your hands. Your hands smell like fish," said his boss. "And don't bother returning. You're fired."

I'm so confused. I don't understand. I don't know what to do. Can anyone help me?

What should I do when a man grabs my pussy? Is it acceptable behavior for me to hit him in the back of his head with a baseball bat or would I offend him?

 

[SusanJillParker]

I feel so relieved. The pressure is off me. No longer must I find the right word.

I learned many new words today. Words that I haven't used since I was in the 4th grade.

Now ready for success and more prepared for my future, these were words that I thought I already knew but thought that they weren't descriptive enough to use in my writing. I was wrong. Now, these words are the perfect word choices for any question asked and any situation that I find myself in during my day.

In addition to what I thought was an already large vocabulary, I've added Amazing, Cheat, Crook, Dirty, Fat, Fixed, Incredible, Liar, Loser, Moron, Nasty, Pussy, Really Big, Slob, Fat, Terrific, Tremendous, Total Loser, Ugly, Unbelievable, Very, Very, Very, Whatever, and Zero.

If only I had used these 27 words more often before, perhaps, I wouldn't have had the need to earn my bachelor's degree in English. What a waste of time and money when all the words that I'd ever need in the course of my day are listed above?

"You look amazing today, unlike that other dirty, fat slob of a loser standing next to you."

"If you're going to be a crook and liar and cheat like me and not pay taxes, don't get caught."

"Hey Moron! That's not how you pickup a girl. Grab her pussy. That's right. Lift up her skirt and grab her pussy through her panties while moving your finger around. Trust me. If you do that, much like a dog, she'll follow you anywhere."

"That's just terrific. Wait until you see my surprise. It's tremendous."

I was very, very, very exited over what I found. It was unbelievable."

Ah, I'm so glad that I know now what I should have known then.

"Whatever? Who cares. You're so ugly. You're a loser and a total zero."

"But I'm your wife."