This is going to hurt me more than it does you.......

[INSIDEYOURMIND]

That saying really holds true with me, I take no pleasure in punishing my slave. Don't get me wrong, I love to redden her ass, and I know how much pleasure she gets from it.

She hates to be punished, she hates the implement I use, (a very thick, braided leather belt), and she hates that she has done something that displeases me to the point of punishment.

I have read many times where a pyl instigates a behaviour to get punished, it is topping from the bottom no matter how you slice it.

Punishments here are very far and few between, but harsh in severity, and in the marks they leave.

I will not discuss the reason behind the punishment, but I am posting photos of the aftermath. I am not posting them because I am proud of them, but rather to show something my slave is not proud of.

From both sides of the bathroom door, PYL's, do you take pleasure in punishing your pyl?, and to the pyl's do you enjoy being punished, or do you not see a difference?

 

[FurryFury]

Real punishment is not what I think anyone should seek.

I think people just get caught up in a "game like" mentality of being "punished" in lesser ways that both enjoy. I think they need to simply say, "We like doing this."

Such as,
"Have you been a bad little girl/boy? Do you think you need a spanking?"

That is game playing, it may be fun but it's not really punishment. Still people get confused about punishment versus having fun, the more pain sensation they need, the more confused they tend to get.

Which is why I encourage my husband to simply admit he likes to be spanked and likes to spank or whatever, none of this bull shit about having to be bad. That encourages minor infractions of the rules in my opinion.

Lord knows I'm not all the experienced but that is my take.

Personally, I don't wanna be punished or to punish.

Fury

 

[Betticus]

There's no joy.

 

[Netzach]

I don't do physical punishment, because I'm a sadist and I don't ever want physical play to have negative implications for ME. I think it would fuck me up badly.

I don't do punishment at all for very serious breaches -- those mean the whole relationship megillah needs to be evaluated and may well be in jeopardy. Seious relationship issues mean serious evaluation.

I believe in discipline and in training and in communication as means of circumventing punishments.

I tend to look to myself first. Was I being unclear in my training? Was I being unreasonable in my expectation? Was this a willful fuck-you on the part of the bottom?

Willful fuck-yous on the part of the bottom demonstrate to me a clear desire not to be in a D/s relationship with me. 90% of all failures on the part of the slave or bottom have in fact been my own fault on examination, and I simply view those as learning experiences. I've never had outright disobedient asshattery from those I have collared because I've never considered collaring someone who behaved that way towards me at any point in my shopping around period.

When I've punished it's through deprivation of pleasures/little things enjoyed and it's always been effective. It's certainly hard for me to do and I don't like it.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

do you take pleasure in punishing your pyl?

No.

Application of pain would involve my willing presence.

Punishment would involve a withdrawl of that presence.

 

[AppleBiter]

Yes, I love punishment. Not just because I'm masochistic, but because it brings him pleasure (and it does, we've discussed it). His pleasure fuels mine and mine, his. Therefore, I revel in punishment.

 

[catalina_francisco]

There is no joy in punishment from either side of the whip here and thankfully it is a rarity. Though we are both into the extremes of SM, there are levels of pain he can give which move beyond pleasure for either of us, and there are also some he has made clear he will use for particular offences if ever the need arises...and given what they are, they serve as enough caution to make sure they do not happen. There are also those mild forms (well didn't really feel mild at the time, but was not intended to be severe) which can go wrong and have an outcome other than intended like a pinch and twist he gave me a few weeks back which tore the skin a couple of centimetres, took ages to heal, and has left a distinct and noticeable scar I do not see disappearing ever.

Catalina

 

[graceanne]

I'm not saying that he enjoys it, but he sure doesn't hate it more than me, and he'll back me up on this. Just like it doesn't hurt me more to discipline my children than it does them - doesn't mean I like it.

My mother used to say that to me, as she was beating the shit out of me, 'this hurts me more than it does you'. I didn't say it at the time (cause she'd have killed me) but my immediate reaction was BULLSHIT.

 

[brioche]

I'm not saying that he enjoys it, but he sure doesn't hate it more than me, and he'll back me up on this. Just like it doesn't hurt me more to discipline my children than it does them - doesn't mean I like it.

My mother used to say that to me, as she was beating the shit out of me, 'this hurts me more than it does you'. I didn't say it at the time (cause she'd have killed me) but my immediate reaction was BULLSHIT.

My mum is Irish. Once, when my prevailing bad mood about driving down to Cape Cod was pissing her off, she broke a brush on my ass. My Dad got torn into on the same trip for smacking me hard enough that his handprint stayed on my leg afterwards ( a VERY rare occurrence, he almost NEVER hit us) but nothing was said about her breaking a brush on my bare ass. i still remember that to this day - yeah, bruising the hell out of someone is going to make them sit still in the car. Actually, the smack on my leg did it - i was so shocked that my dad had hit me that i didn't move for over an hour. i just didn't have the experience to deal with that. i sat there staring at my leg, waiting for the handprint to disappear, and it didn't.

She once spanked me four times, until i finally said what she wanted, which was that i had scratched this stupid mirror over my brother's crib. i hadn't, but she was going for number five. (Note to parents: If your child had endured three spankings insisting they didn't do something you haven't seen, they probably didn't do it.) A year later, i informed her that i hadn't scratched the mirror at all, and that the only reason i said i had was so she'd stop spanking me. She decided my cousin had done it. For all i know, he did.

She didn't really spank my brothers, which i think is why they've grown up with a sense of entitlement. i think a happy medium would have been best, but i don't know if she's capable of a happy medium.

She's also said emotionally abusive things, but she's stopped now because i went to therapy and now i call her on them. Recently, when drunk, she said, "You are a great disappointment to me." When i told her i hoped she didn't actually mean that, she said "I do and I don't." i told her that that was one of the most hurtful things i could think of saying to your child and that i was leaving before she could say more. The next day? Didn't happen. She has this amazing selective memory thing going on, where i'll confront her about something she said (while sober) and she'll deny it. She even went so far years ago as to say that my depression must have affected my brain if i thought she'd say those things.

At no point, ever, did she say those words. If she had, i would've told her she was lying. Yeah, it probably would've got me a few more smacks, but i was an opinionated kid.

You were probably right to keep quiet, graceanne.

 

[FurryFury]

Heh! I know a LOT of men. I love men, however. I would say most of them have a sense of entitlement and some were beaten nearly every day. There is some other factor that causes that! At least that is my opinion.

Fury

 

[graceanne]

You were probably right to keep quiet, graceanne.

I learned quick with my mom that disagreeing or whatever was a good way to die. But she also used to spank me until I'd admit to doing something I hadn't. Normally my chicken sister had, but she wouldn't admit it (cause my mom was spazzing). I'd tell her that Miss had, but she never believed me.

 

[FurryFury]

Spanking kids kinda sucks and it really doesn't work. It sparks rebellious and duplicitous feelings. I remember thinking I will just do it again the minute I get a chance the last time my Dad spanked me.

It was the getting knocked down to the floor, having your head banged on it, being choked and such that scared me cause hey I actually thought I might die sometimes. Oh and being dragged around too. That's great. *frowns*

So how come I like being spanked now?

*shrugs*

Fury

 

[sincerely_helene]

No.

Application of pain would involve my willing presence.

Punishment would involve a withdrawl of that presence.

Short, but sweet... and freakin' brilliant!

 

[FurryFury]

Short, but sweet... and freakin' brilliant!

Yes, not to mention my worst fear.

Fury

 

[graceanne]

Yes, not to mention my worst fear.

Fury

There was a thread, a while back, about what the subs thought was the worst punishment possible. If I remember right, we all agreed that being ignored was the worst.

 

[bullaford]

Yes, I love punishment. Not just because I'm masochistic, but because it brings him pleasure (and it does, we've discussed it). His pleasure fuels mine and mine, his. Therefore, I revel in punishment.

So you enjoy disappointing your Dom? You enjoy knowing you did something bad enough that he feels he needs to punish you for it?

ISYM said it best ....

I have read many times where a pyl instigates a behaviour to get punished, it is topping from the bottom no matter how you slice it.

Much like AA said, punishment is a withdrawal of my presence ... after I make sure that she knows she has done wrong and has disappointed me to the point that I no longer want to be around at that moment ... I withdraw mentally. Because of her past I will not raise my hand in anger towards her, so any physical punishment is out of the question. I believe that it probably hurts us equally in our own way.

 

[babiesmiles]

No.

Application of pain would involve my willing presence.

Punishment would involve a withdrawl of that presence.

In my opinion you hit the nail of the point ! b.