Things that you hear around the holidays that sound dirty

[lovemetender]

here's an idea for a holiday thread...during the holidays you hear lots of standard lines that just sound dirty though they are meant in a most innocent way....this thread is for everyone to post something that you've said or heard in this holiday season in that vein....I'll start with a couple of examples...

"just spread it's legs & stuff it in there"

"you'll know it's ready when it pops up"

 

[done_got_old]

here's an idea for a holiday thread...during the holidays you hear lots of standard lines that just sound dirty though they are meant in a most innocent way....this thread is for everyone to post something that you've said or heard in this holiday season in that vein....I'll start with a couple of examples...

"just spread it's legs & stuff it in there"

"you'll know it's ready when it pops up"

I think your balls are hanging too low.

 

[DLL]

Ok i dont know about phases for the holidays but I will think of some from my profession..... So have you looked through her briefs?

He is one hard judge.

Counselor, let's do it in chambers.

Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.

Is it a penal offense?

Better leave the handcuffs on.

For $200 an hour, she better be good.

Can you get him to drop his suit?

The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

Think you can get me off?


hmmmm i know i have a few more i will think

 

[done_got_old]

To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall!

 

[lovemetender]

"you still have some on your chin"

 

[DLL]

ok golf ones.....


Damn...my shaft is bent.

After 18 holes I can barely walk.

You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.

Look at the size of his putter.

Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.

Mind if I join your threesome?

Stand with your back turned and drop it.

My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

Nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.

Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.

 

[done_got_old]

"you still have some on your chin"

I love lickin' the end until it gets sharp and pointy!

 

[DLL]

Its still not straight

 

[done_got_old]

Santa's sack is really bulging.

 

[lovemetender]

"anyone want some nuts?"

 

[done_got_old]

From here you can't tell if they're artificial or real.

 

[lovemetender]

"mmmmm...this tastes great...what'd ya put in it?"

 

[done_got_old]

Can I interest you in some dark meat?

 

[MT_Pitcher]

This breast is so juicy....

Would you like a thigh??

 

[done_got_old]

I'm stuffed!

 

[lovemetender]

Can I interest you in some dark meat?

if you're offering that would be a yes

"better unbutton my pants before I explode"

 

[done_got_old]

Gee Santa sure stuffed your stocking.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Want to unwrap your present now?

 

[DLL]

mmm tastes like chicken

 

[done_got_old]

I don't think you can stuff that bird any tighter.

 

[lovemetender]

it'll never fit in there

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Anyone up to play some games?

 

[DLL]

Thats a big package you have

 

[done_got_old]

Reach in and grab the gibblets.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Here cums Santa Claus
Here cums Santa Claus