Bindii
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2002
- Posts
- 4,405
1. Get the boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they are not looking. For a more evil fun...poke tiny pin holes in them.
2. Ask clerk if the mattress and boxspring that you are evaluating will hold two people and a goat named Matilda.
3. Ask if you can try on some ladies panties. If the clerk says yes....ask if you can try on a bra at the same time...If the clerk still agrees, call her into the dressing room and tell her you cant get the bra unclasped and need assistance.
4. Move "CAUTION-WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.
5. Ask every customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
6. Ask to put M&M's on layaway.
7. Switch signs on the men's and women's bathrooms.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why won't you people leave me alone?"
9. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.
10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!"
11. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.
12. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again."
14. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud ...."Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!"
15. Buy several different boxes of Elastics and after the clerk rings them up, pay with pennies and ask him/her how how these are used
as an effective method of birth control. When the clerk looks at you funny, tell the clerk that your doctor suggested prophylastics as a
method of birth control. If no elastics are available in the store, rubber boots will do.
16. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. Then go up to clerk and ask him if synthetic oil is as good as real oil insofar as lathering up your body so that your wife Orca cannot suffocate you in bed.
17. Make a trail of orange juice and sunflower seeds on the floor to the rest rooms.
2. Ask clerk if the mattress and boxspring that you are evaluating will hold two people and a goat named Matilda.
3. Ask if you can try on some ladies panties. If the clerk says yes....ask if you can try on a bra at the same time...If the clerk still agrees, call her into the dressing room and tell her you cant get the bra unclasped and need assistance.
4. Move "CAUTION-WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.
5. Ask every customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
6. Ask to put M&M's on layaway.
7. Switch signs on the men's and women's bathrooms.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why won't you people leave me alone?"
9. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.
10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!"
11. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.
12. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again."
14. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud ...."Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!"
15. Buy several different boxes of Elastics and after the clerk rings them up, pay with pennies and ask him/her how how these are used
as an effective method of birth control. When the clerk looks at you funny, tell the clerk that your doctor suggested prophylastics as a
method of birth control. If no elastics are available in the store, rubber boots will do.
16. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. Then go up to clerk and ask him if synthetic oil is as good as real oil insofar as lathering up your body so that your wife Orca cannot suffocate you in bed.
17. Make a trail of orange juice and sunflower seeds on the floor to the rest rooms.
