There she goes...

[deezire1900]

My partner of 9 years is moving back to California...

The story goes...

We moved to San Diego 2 1/2 years ago...and it was to much for us. We split while out there, but always remained close. Then in February I was transfered back to MN and about 2 months later she came. I had this fantasy we would be a happy little family again, but I could never put away the pain of the break-up,and she misses her friends to no end, so after much talk...she is moving back to CA.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I do love her, but we just can't live under the same roof. She will always be a big part of my life, but I hope I can go on. The Doctor prescribbed Zolof (sp) (the little cotton balls that party together) until after she leaves...sometime in December.

I never thought I would take a medication like this in my life, and it scares me to think I am on a mood altering drug, but what else do I do...the pain is killing me.

***venting***

Anyone here tried the medication?

 

[Mistress_Blueeyes]

I'm sorry your partner is leaving. I have tried a mood altering drug. I was put on Lexapro back in August. I didnt like it at first, it made me shaky all the time and when you are trying to start an IV on a patient (i work as a paramedic) its not good. I got use to it eventually but came off of it in the begining of October. My BF and I got a puppy. Just remember this, even thought you are taking Zoloft (correct spelling) you are not crazy. The drugs are meant to boost Serratonin levels in the brain. Serratonin is a "happy chemical" in simple terms. Take care and if you need someone to talk to pm me.


MBe

 

[Netzach]

Zoloft was a good drug for me, your mileage will vary. For me, it was really the tylenol of anti-depressants. I was able to be sad, to feel, to experience, but without being *debilitated* by those feelings. That's the point of an anti-depressant, not to make you a "zombie" of some kind as many people fear and assume.

Good luck, sorry to hear about the break, but being honest with one another is the ultimate proof of love sometimes.

 

[geishaGirl]

My thoughts are with you.........

 

[deezire1900]

Thank you.

I just have no understanding why two people can love each other so deeply, but have nothing in common.

 

[Mistress_Blueeyes]

Remember the old saying if you love someone let them go if they come it was meant to be. Also distance makes the heart grow fonder. It may not be over.

 

[Betticus]

Oh this sucks. I can relate to you on this issue, somewhat. I do hope that the antidepressant helps you.

Hang in there!

 

[deezire1900]

I think the hardest part will be the next 60 days...(54) until she leaves. We are still under the same roof, so It makes life awkard. I am going to be taking on a new role at work, so that should help keep my mind off things.

 

[Betticus]

I think the hardest part will be the next 60 days...(54) until she leaves. We are still under the same roof, so It makes life awkard. I am going to be taking on a new role at work, so that should help keep my mind off things.

I think that only time helps. Lots and lots of time. Keeping busy with friends helps as well.

 

[SweetErika]

I'm sorry for your pain, Deezire! You did the right thing in taking care of yourself, and I'm sure your future will be filled with happiness.

 

[FunkyGirl]

This too shall pass!!!

Zoloft works for me. Don't be afraid to take it if it works. Suffering is needless.

Sending warm thoughts

 

[deezire1900]

Thank you.

I have been on it for 5 days now, and it seems to be helping. I have had some ups and downs, but I can't imagine what those ups and downs would have been like without it. Besides, It isn't habit forming so I can stop at any time. I plan to stop when she leaves.

This weekend was good...we do love each other so much, but I have to be strong. We can be friends, and even lovers, but I can't take the see saw and she has to stick to her plan.

I have plans for her room...an art studio/meditation room.

 

[ravenmx]

I am sorry for you pain as well. 9 years is a very long time to be together and then be apart.

I have used zoloft as well and it is fine. It is something you can miss a day or two of and not really notice, if you plan on quitting when she leaves that should be no problem as well.

Good luck.

 

[ravenmx]

I am sorry for you pain as well. 9 years is a very long time to be together and then be apart.

I have used zoloft as well and it is fine. It is something you can miss a day or two of and not really notice, if you plan on quitting when she leaves that should be no problem as well.

Good luck.

 

[John Doe]

This too shall pass!!!

Zoloft works for me. Don't be afraid to take it if it works. Suffering is needless.

Suffering tempered is strength.

 

[Queersetti]

Thank you.

I have been on it for 5 days now, and it seems to be helping. I have had some ups and downs, but I can't imagine what those ups and downs would have been like without it. Besides, It isn't habit forming so I can stop at any time. I plan to stop when she leaves.

This weekend was good...we do love each other so much, but I have to be strong. We can be friends, and even lovers, but I can't take the see saw and she has to stick to her plan.

I have plans for her room...an art studio/meditation room.

I am very sorry that you have to go through this, I know it hurts. I do think it is a very positive thing, though, that you are already planning past her departure.

 

[deezire1900]

I have too...It gives me something to look forward to besides pain.

 

[nightmaredns]

My partner of 9 years is moving back to California...

The story goes...

We moved to San Diego 2 1/2 years ago...and it was to much for us. We split while out there, but always remained close. Then in February I was transfered back to MN and about 2 months later she came. I had this fantasy we would be a happy little family again, but I could never put away the pain of the break-up,and she misses her friends to no end, so after much talk...she is moving back to CA.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I do love her, but we just can't live under the same roof. She will always be a big part of my life, but I hope I can go on. The Doctor prescribbed Zolof (sp) (the little cotton balls that party together) until after she leaves...sometime in December.

I never thought I would take a medication like this in my life, and it scares me to think I am on a mood altering drug, but what else do I do...the pain is killing me.

***venting***

Anyone here tried the medication?

goddammit this is why you should have seen a psychologist and not a doctor. Antidepressants are way too overperscribed and can be harmful if used improperly. By improperly, I'm talking about you.

She moves in about a month, there's absolutely no reason for you to be on medication for that. I understand it's hard times and all, but that's part of life.

Not only that, Zoloft is for anxiety disorder and depression, which is NOT what you have. What you are going through is NORMAL, and there's no posible way medicating yourself will make this easier. Depression is a serious illness that affects a LOT of people, but being depressed for short periods of time is something that nearly everyone goes through in their lives. The second category is where you belong, not the first. There are other things you can do to cope besides taking drugs.

I'm sorry, but it absolutely infuriates me that doctors do this stupid shit instead of referring patients to the proper resources. I understand that not everyone has access to a psychologist, but at least teach the doctors how to make a PROPER diagnosis.

Also, you plan to stop when she leaves. This is a bad idea for two reasons. 1 because it will be harder after she's gone, and 2 because it's ALWAYS a bad idea to stop medication cold turkey. Do you have any idea what Zoloft does to your brain? It alters your chemistry in such a way that by stopping all of a sudden, it will most likely throw you into a deep deep depression. Talke to your doctor about gradually working your way off it instead of completely stopping. If your doctor doesn't know anything about that, get a new doctor.


I'm sorry for your loss, I really am. I imagine this is very difficult for you and I'm sorry that it has to happen. But please consider the risks of medicating yourself for this situation, I hardly think it's warranted here.

And to the person who said suffering is needless...you are wrong. Totally wrong. Zoloft and other antidepressants don't "make it all better" like you might believe. They simply make it less bad by altering your brain chemistry. Suffering is something everyone deals with in their lives. It makes us strong, something that hiding from your feelings won't do. Drugs are NOT always the answer.

 

[SweetErika]

Re: Re: There she goes...

goddammit this is why you should have seen a psychologist and not a doctor. Antidepressants are way too overperscribed and can be harmful if used improperly. By improperly, I'm talking about you.

She moves in about a month, there's absolutely no reason for you to be on medication for that. I understand it's hard times and all, but that's part of life.

Not only that, Zoloft is for anxiety disorder and depression, which is NOT what you have. What you are going through is NORMAL, and there's no posible way medicating yourself will make this easier. Depression is a serious illness that affects a LOT of people, but being depressed for short periods of time is something that nearly everyone goes through in their lives. The second category is where you belong, not the first. There are other things you can do to cope besides taking drugs.

I'm sorry, but it absolutely infuriates me that doctors do this stupid shit instead of referring patients to the proper resources. I understand that not everyone has access to a psychologist, but at least teach the doctors how to make a PROPER diagnosis.

Also, you plan to stop when she leaves. This is a bad idea for two reasons. 1 because it will be harder after she's gone, and 2 because it's ALWAYS a bad idea to stop medication cold turkey. Do you have any idea what Zoloft does to your brain? It alters your chemistry in such a way that by stopping all of a sudden, it will most likely throw you into a deep deep depression. Talke to your doctor about gradually working your way off it instead of completely stopping. If your doctor doesn't know anything about that, get a new doctor.


I'm sorry for your loss, I really am. I imagine this is very difficult for you and I'm sorry that it has to happen. But please consider the risks of medicating yourself for this situation, I hardly think it's warranted here.

And to the person who said suffering is needless...you are wrong. Totally wrong. Zoloft and other antidepressants don't "make it all better" like you might believe. They simply make it less bad by altering your brain chemistry. Suffering is something everyone deals with in their lives. It makes us strong, something that hiding from your feelings won't do. Drugs are NOT always the answer.

I agree that medications, including antidepressants, are way overprescribed. However, none of us know Deezire's medical/psychological history or can accurately assess whether or not she needs the drugs. Nor do we know the full extent of her pain or situation, and it doesn't seem like she's hiding from her feelings.

I don't think she (or most of us who have taken a medication to treat mental illness at some point) thinks the drug is a panacea or will make her pain go away. I've always seen antidepressants as a little something to help people be able to live and tolerate the pain...after all, not being able to live or being on the verge of suicide isn't a good option.

Of course you should be educated on all of the options and know what you're putting in your body. I have every faith that Deezire, like any smart person has done just that. Warnings are great, but judgments are not.

(I don't mean to speak for you Deezire, so if I'm wrong, please correct me).

I don't mean to start a debate, but when was the last time YOU were in a place so dark and painful that you couldn't do simple daily activities and lived in fear of what you would do to yourself?

 

[nightmaredns]

Re: Re: Re: There she goes...

I don't mean to start a debate, but when was the last time YOU were in a place so dark and painful that you couldn't do simple daily activities and lived in fear of what you would do to yourself?

Heh, today, and most likely the rest of my life. I suppose that's why I'm so so opinionated about the subject. Forgive me for sounding harsh, I don't intend to start a debate.

Of course I don't know her medical condition or psych history, it was more that I wanted to make sure she knew a few things before embarking on this.

My apologies if feelings are hurt, I was trying to help more than anything.

 

[SweetErika]

Re: Re: Re: Re: There she goes...

Heh, today, and most likely the rest of my life. I suppose that's why I'm so so opinionated about the subject. Forgive me for sounding harsh, I don't intend to start a debate.

Of course I don't know her medical condition or psych history, it was more that I wanted to make sure she knew a few things before embarking on this.

My apologies if feelings are hurt, I was trying to help more than anything.

That gives some context to some of your comments, and I do tend to agree with your assessment of people overusing medications and not understanding the effects. However, as someone who has used antidepressants periodically for very real, yet situational depression, I have a different perspective.

Thanks for the clarification!

 

[Etoile]

deezire, I'm so sorry to hear about this. It sounds even harder than a usual breakup, because you are still so much in love. I will be thinking of you.

Don't worry, it's perfectly normal to need antidepressant medication at some point in your life. I've been on them for about six years, since mid 1998. That doesn't mean you will be on them that long; my mother was on them for a while after my father died. (I was 4, so I don't remember this, but she's told me.) Zoloft is one of the few that I haven't been on, so I can't tell you my specific experiences, but Netzach is right that it's different for everybody.

Best wishes, dear.

 

[69forever]

I have too...It gives me something to look forward to besides pain.

{{{{{{ deezire }}}}}}

Makes no difference in the make-up of a relationship. When you plan to spend your lives together and it falls apart...so do your shared dreams.

Sorry for your loss. Been there and done that. Medicated the pain away in much more destructive manner. Do what you trust your doctor tells you. Peace.

 

[luvrgurl]

I took Zoloft some years back for depression and it helped me kick it! I was on Paxil first and it worked but killed my sex drive so the doctor put me on Zoloft. I got out of my depressive state and stayed on it for about 5 months. The doctor told me to slowly stop taking it but I just quit cold turkey after I took my last pill and I was fine after that. It's a great drug with no side effects (on my part anyway) and it did the trick. Good luck!


L

 

[deezire1900]

Well, I have been away on vacation...and it sure helped. Guess what, I forgot my meds until I was on the plane. I know, very bad of me. But it worked to my advantage. I was to much of a zombie. Granted, I should have consulted my doc first, but i wasn't going to buy them in Mexico. Anyway...i have no metal history...it was my first time of being this sad, and i know now i can get throught it. i have been writing in my journal, and talking to friends. I told her i can't do the Wishy washy thing so she has to be out January 1st. If I know her, she will be leaving right after the holidays.

Thanks for all the kind words, and I love a debate.

I may keep this going for an outlet.