The witch fuckers

[Strangebuddy]

There’s a man and a woman roaming the world tracking down witches. Except they’re not here to kill or admonish them, and they’re certainly not from the church.

...they’re here to fuck them.

See, witches have to make a contract with various spirits and the occasional demon. Part of that contract is to submit to the spirits/whatever as lovers. Of course, some witches make those contracts when they’re young and some make them with spirits that can’t directly live up to their end of the bargain. So some witches decide to never pay up on that part.

So the demons and the spirits contract some humans to track them down and make sure the contract is fulfilled.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

A spiritual/demonic collections agency? Oh, that sounds like a nice, meaty plot bunny to me!


The collections agents (for lack of a better term) would have to have either a regular contact that fed them info or a sense that they could use to track down these naughty witches. Maybe both, even?


Spirits of lust, like some fae, some vamps, and incubi/succubi probably go for the fucking payments. The question is, can they get their payments from the agent, or does the agent subdue the witch and call in the contracted spirit/demon/whatever? If they get the payment from the agent, is it vicariously, or via possession of the agent like voudou's Loa 'riding' an adherent? Or perhaps it's a pass-a-fuck - the agent fucks the witch and then the spirit fucks the agent?


What if the lust thingummy instead has an incest fetish - does the agent have to force the witch to get down & dirty with their relatives? DOes the agent tackle the relatives? etc.


Non-lusty types probably go for messier payments - blood, pain, fear, flesh, etc. Again, can the agent do the collection or does the agent subdue and control the witch long enough for the patron spirit/demon to come along and take the payment?

 

[SwiftPeter]

This one brought me into the horrid light of day.

The magic system (which the setting kind of implies is there, hope I'm not being too forward) could work on this. Some "Real life" magic systems utilize a crude contract or dominance system where the relationship between a caster and their power source is an actual relationship.

Example: To say a witches 'familiar' is a magical weapon hiding in plain sight, then forcing it into some compensated partnership not only is an excuse to have a plot that is completely fuck-based (which is what we're going for I hope), but also logical in the setting.

Plus, now every fight would be between a hot chick and her shapeshifting fuckmonster.

I see only upside here.

 

[Hypoxia]

A spiritual/demonic collections agency? Oh, that sounds like a nice, meaty plot bunny to me!

Repo Man (and Woman) in the 9th Dimension FTW! Instead of vehicles, they repossess souls and magicks... but can be bribed with soul-shattering sex or whatever. How did they get into the business? We need a good origin story.

I've just started a nebulous tale of a human cop with vague portfolio. When she swoops in on a ritual orgy near Area 51, alien lawkeeper-gods deputize her for their raid and pay her from the proceeds. That's easier than working for a living so she goes full-time into the soul repo thang.

She's tricky and heartless. She closes in on a bust, offers to let them go in exchange for great sex, and then turns them in anyway. Screams of the tormented as they're carried away are music to her ears.

Episodes after the origin can focus on themes. This week, those who tried to cheat Satanas. Next week, Kali's skip-outs. Then those who denied Dionysus.

The ultimate lesson: It's not nice to mess with Mother Nature. Bring on the gonad-gnibbling gnats.

 

[MarkoAaron]

Please write! lol