The Watch
- Thread starter wicker
- Start date
You know, I'm a mind control fetishist, but I hate the vast majority of stories under the mind control category, partly because of the instant gratification. Sometimes within the first passage the hero already has power over all existence, and this story is essentially no different. I want to add to it; it's just a shame that it has to turn me off within the first few paragraphs...
Okay, this story has to be the worst example of editing I've ever seen. It only has two real story arcs not going past seven threads, and yet all three POVs are somehow represented without any justification (story summary says it's supposed to be 1st person male). In fact, the POV changes from page to page! The main character is even assigned the wrong name in one passage!
I can't add to this...sorry...it drives me nuts.
I can't add to this...sorry...it drives me nuts.
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amalgam said:
hehe, have to agree with you, I started my own mind control one with some fairly strict outlines on the powers. I wrote 6 threads and haven't added to it since :/ heh, y writing's like that some times, get distracted an forget about it. I really should add to it, I had a few threads planned out other than just the one I explored there.
If you ever feel like adding to it i've got a thread here https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=443058 Who knows, you might even inspire me to get back to it
