"The Visit" (open for anyone who wants to contribute)

[junk_yard]

"The Visit" (looking for a woman to participate)

I am not a writer... so this is an attempt to get some feedback, and/or some ideas as to where I could take this scenario. What would YOU do with this situation if you were in control?



Entering your small apartment, I closed and bolted the door behind me as soon as you let me in. I wasted no time in grabbing a handful of your long curly hair and, forcing you onto your knees, I bent your head back so I could access your neck, your veins were bulging as your pulse quickened... your white skin looked so soft and inviting, so ready for my assault. my mouth closed on the smooth skin of your now exposed shoulder and I bit you like a vampire, causing you to cry out in pain, the tears welling up in your green eyes... you had spurned my advances for far too long, and now it was "get even" time.

Pinning you to the floor with my body, I began removing the few clothes you were wearing, tearing them away very quickly. You were screaming softly, and moaning, and I hoped that it was in anticipation of what was to come... but I knew it was really fear...I could see that in your eyes, and yet, I had thought that you would have offered a bit more resistance. We thrashed on the carpeted floor of your living room, as I maneuvered you into submission. I had brought several old neckties with me... and I bound each of your hands behind you and tied each of them to the corresponding ankle, so you were bent backwards like a pretzel... fully exposing the body parts I was planning to "work on" ... your now rather wet cunt was glistening in the dim light from the table lamp. I inserted my finger into your beautiful glory hole, feeling the tightness of your anus that would soon relax as I continued my quest for total domination.

Using my last necktie, I wrapped it around your mouth, tying it behind your head. Your eyes looked into mine, tears still flowing and running down your cheeks. Then, as your muffled screams and moans provided me with the background "music" I was looking for, I removed my clothing and prepared to began my assault.

My fingers first explored your body, pinching , pulling , squeezing... your nipples were very hard and elongated as I pinched them, sucking on first one, then the other, biting them enough to cause you some pain, making you moan louder. I ran my tongue across the skin of your torso, spitting, licking and then blowing on the wet trails, as your moans became stronger. I was patient... there was no hurry...

 

[catlover]

I wondered who was at the door, but heard no voices. Then I heasrd my wife cry out asd if she was in pain, so I went to look.

There she was first on her knees and then on the floor, being assaulted by some dude I didn't know.

At first I was tempted to go kick his ass and save her from a fate worse than death, but then my inner thoughts overtook my duty to protect her, and watched as he ripped off her clothes and then invaded her private parts with his fingers.

She didn't cry out again. I knew she knew him and liked what he was doing which of course I would never do, but then he tied a rag or something around her face and she couldnt speak but she could and did moan loudly as her trailed his tongue all over her, down her torso to her navel and then to her pelvis and finally her very wet pussy which I had just fucked.

I liked watching. It was my fantasy coming true, seeing her get raped by another man and treated like the whore I wanted her to be.

Softly, I called out to the man to fuck her and make her into the slut she secretly asked me to make her into, but I could never do it.

 

[ash13]

I will play the role of the wife..just wanted to jump in and claim spot will edit later.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

I am not a writer... so this is an attempt to get some feedback, and/or some ideas as to where I could take this scenario. What would YOU do with this situation if you were in control?



Entering your small apartment, I closed and bolted the door behind me as soon as you let me in. I wasted no time in grabbing a handful of your long curly hair and, forcing you onto your knees, I bent your head back so I could access your neck, your veins were bulging as your pulse quickened... your white skin looked so soft and inviting, so ready for my assault. my mouth closed on the smooth skin of your now exposed shoulder and I bit you like a vampire, causing you to cry out in pain, the tears welling up in your green eyes... you had spurned my advances for far too long, and now it was "get even" time.

Pinning you to the floor with my body, I began removing the few clothes you were wearing, tearing them away very quickly. You were screaming softly, and moaning, and I hoped that it was in anticipation of what was to come... but I knew it was really fear...I could see that in your eyes, and yet, I had thought that you would have offered a bit more resistance. We thrashed on the carpeted floor of your living room, as I maneuvered you into submission. I had brought several old neckties with me... and I bound each of your hands behind you and tied each of them to the corresponding ankle, so you were bent backwards like a pretzel... fully exposing the body parts I was planning to "work on" ... your now rather wet cunt was glistening in the dim light from the table lamp. I inserted my finger into your beautiful glory hole, feeling the tightness of your anus that would soon relax as I continued my quest for total domination.

Using my last necktie, I wrapped it around your mouth, tying it behind your head. Your eyes looked into mine, tears still flowing and running down your cheeks. Then, as your muffled screams and moans provided me with the background "music" I was looking for, I removed my clothing and prepared to began my assault.

My fingers first explored your body, pinching , pulling , squeezing... your nipples were very hard and elongated as I pinched them, sucking on first one, then the other, biting them enough to cause you some pain, making you moan louder. I ran my tongue across the skin of your torso, spitting, licking and then blowing on the wet trails, as your moans became stronger. I was patient... there was no hurry...

My feedback is ... I'm not sure if this is a sample opening for a piece of writing, if so it works, but if you're putting this out there as a RP, then you write in too many reactions of the female character - see highlighted in red. In a scenario like this when an assault is unexpected, it really should be for the co-writer to decide how the female character will react and if
when - if at all - fright will turn to arousal.

From a plot point of view, I don't think the storyline of watching husband who had just had sex with his wife is a credible plot development at all! Just my opinion ...

If this was what you were looking for, then happy to have contributed, if not then I apologise if my 'feedback' was not welcome.

DM

 

[ash13]

OOC Ashley Cuminners 28 5'5 130 shoulder length black hair 35C


I moan through the tie gag to no avail.hands roaming over my perky chest.hips writhing as your fingers probe my hairless slit. My eyes wide as you seem to enjoy this and wonder what is next

 

[junk_yard]

I wondered who was at the door, but heard no voices. Then I heasrd my wife cry out...

Thanks for the input... this is not the direction I had in mind...

 

[junk_yard]

My feedback is ... I'm not sure if this is a sample opening for a piece of writing, if so it works... From a plot point of view, I don't think the storyline of watching husband who had just had sex with his wife is a credible plot development at all! Just my opinion ... DM

I really appreciate your input... you make some excellent points. I did not have a co-writer at the time of the initial creation, but there is interest. I do agree with you about the husband in the background... not at all credible in my estimation. As time permits I will read some of your threads... and continue to develop my story line. I'm not sure where it will go at this point. Thanks again. By the way: feel free to "jump in" at any point if you care to...

 

[junk_yard]

OOC Ashley Cuminners 28 5'5 130 shoulder length black hair 35C


I moan through the tie gag to no avail.hands roaming over my perky chest.hips writhing as your fingers probe my hairless slit. My eyes wide as you seem to enjoy this and wonder what is next

Thanks for your input... your "history" indicates that you write one and two line responses... I am looking for a co-writer who might be a bit more inclined to write a paragraph or two at each "leg" of our story... your thoughts on that?

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

I really appreciate your input... you make some excellent points. I did not have a co-writer at the time of the initial creation, but there is interest. I do agree with you about the husband in the background... not at all credible in my estimation. As time permits I will read some of your threads... and continue to develop my story line. I'm not sure where it will go at this point. Thanks again. By the way: feel free to "jump in" at any point if you care to...

Thank you!

I only jumped in with a comment because comment was invited.
I'm glad my comments didn't cause offence.

You're most welcome to read any of my threads and criticise/comment as you wish. They're all creations of two minds so even where the original idea is mine I can't claim credit (or otherwise ) for them. I often forget there are many other people 'out there' reading and just get 'lost' in the experience of writing, though I think many of them do seem to appeal to readers who frequent the boards. Above all, though, writing the threads is enjoyable for myself and my co-writers, which I think is the way I judge the success of a story.

Looking forward to seeing how your ideas develop and any new projects you take on.

DM

 

[junk_yard]

I still do not have a co-writer... I'm searching for a woman to play the role of the woman in my story. Please choose a name, I will be asking for your name as we progress...

Lowering my face onto your wet pussy, your scent stimulating me into a near frenzy, I lick and thrust my tongue deep inside you. My cock is throbbing, my heart pounding and I push you further back on your shoulders while I try to bury my face inside of you, causing you to moan louder. I so want a release... but I wait... because I know where my cock will be when you receive my first load of cum, and that spot isn't ready yet.

Reaching for the "bag of tricks" that I had brought with me I open the Vaseline and with my index finger I begin the entry into your anus. Your ass is very tight, but with the Vaseline my finger slides in easily. You squirm and thrash more violently. It is very obvious you have never been fucked in your ass.

"Ahhhh," I exclaimed, "A virgin ass, but not for long my sweet," I murmured as I continue my assault on your pussy with my tongue and face, while my finger continues to massage your anus. Now, a second finger is in your glory hole. I can feel you getting looser and you seem to relax just a bit, as I continue to "prep" the first place that I plan to enter your body with my hard throbbing cock...