The virgin cuckold

[Prodiver]

Hello all, I’ve just published a new story exploring the early stages of a cuckold relationship. Please read it and tell me what you think of it. https://www.literotica.com/s/the-virgin-cuckold

 

[Gamblnluck]

Read it and I am at odds. It was well written but it left a lot out . First description of George was he was fun-loving, an office administrator but little ambition. You did nothing to explain his lack of ambition although he seemed an intelligent and out-going guy who kept himself in shape. Same thin with his lack of worrying about appearances. Did that mean he was slovenly outside of work or that he was secure enough with himself he didn't care about making himself up for others?

When you began he had a single fault. His penis. Then you made him a fool. He sat at home while she went out. What happened to the fun-loving (which implys a gregarious nature) who is now content to sit at home while she hob nobs with whoever. When he first discovers she is cheating he submits. From there it went downhill even accepting a spanking when he masturbates against her rules. (She has no rules.)
Overall despite the way it was written, the story felt bland. Perhaps that written in the third person, his feelings if he even had any were not really revealed. Same with hers to a lesser extent. She wanted power over him and got it. Not that she really cared for him or his feelings.

 

[Prodiver]

Thanks for your feedback Gamlnluck. This is the sort of criticism I really need if I am to improve as a writer. I recognise every one of the faults you highlight. Please look at my poems. They are much more carefully crafted and are my attempts to crystallise my feelings of these exciting erotic topics.

 

[Gamblnluck]

Thanks for your feedback Gamlnluck. This is the sort of criticism I really need if I am to improve as a writer. I recognise every one of the faults you highlight. Please look at my poems. They are much more carefully crafted and are my attempts to crystallise my feelings of these exciting erotic topics.

Sorry, for some reason poetry has never had the slightest bit of appeal for me. If you'd like a beta read of a story, PM me. But be aware, I am honest and often brutal with my critique. I only read a handful of categories or rather should I say, I select my reading from a handful of categories so I miss much of what might be out there.

 

[Reenigam]

Hello all, I’ve just published a new story exploring the early stages of a cuckold relationship. Please read it and tell me what you think of it. https://www.literotica.com/s/the-virgin-cuckold

Let me get this right... you are claiming that submitting a story on Literotica amounts to "publishing"..?

Sorry if I've made any typos so far... it would be from the strain imposed by belly laughter...

 

[Prodiver]

The website calls it publishing. I’m just saying it’s out there. No delusions of grandeur, I know I’m not a ‘published’ author!

 

[Reenigam]

They would, wouldn't they?

"Delusions of grandeur" though, sadly, is what the ego-tripping submitters to this website generally suffer from. More power to you for recognising the reality of things.

 

[ElannaCalli]

Hello all, I’ve just published a new story exploring the early stages of a cuckold relationship. Please read it and tell me what you think of it. https://www.literotica.com/s/the-virgin-cuckold

LOVE the title lol