The use of cybersex and online chats in a story

[Le Jacquelope]

Does this kill a story?

I've got a long one at the start that sets the story's premise. The character in question spends a lot of his free time hooking up with women online, leading up to this one encounter that becomes a face to face relationship. (No, I'm not giving away the twist here, and no, you won't guess it in a hundred million gigananoseconds!)

It means a lot of cybersex sessions, but I'm actually only putting in one, interspersed between real life interruptions (like being in class, etc.).

Anyone care to discuss the idea of an acceptable limit on length and other stuff?

 

[BlackShanglan]

I think that interspersing it in brief chunks is a good choice. There's not a lot of description in cybersex, and I think that most people are filling in the blanks as they go. I've never seen a cybersex log that made particularly interesting reading. Breaking it up and moving other action forward around it sounds like a good way to manage it - either that or picking out a few great lines and condensing the rest into "three hours later, in a blur of lust and exhaustion, he finally logged off" or similar?

 

[Le Jacquelope]

I think that interspersing it in brief chunks is a good choice. There's not a lot of description in cybersex, and I think that most people are filling in the blanks as they go. I've never seen a cybersex log that made particularly interesting reading. Breaking it up and moving other action forward around it sounds like a good way to manage it - either that or picking out a few great lines and condensing the rest into "three hours later, in a blur of lust and exhaustion, he finally logged off" or similar?

Yeah, a lot of exposition goes on there. Even more so in real life, but enough happens online that it's tough to condense. Most importantly, characters first get to know one another, and then talk about sexual fantasies in ways you'd never hear in person.

I've condensed it beyond the point of believability. But then it is erotica, I suppose. Which is worse, being hard to believe, or being too long?

 

[Dontgiveup]

I've never seen a cybersex log that made particularly interesting reading.

You've been doing it with the wrong person

 

[gauchecritic]

I'm not sure. The only way I've seen it work properly was in film (Jumping Jack Flash) the director knew it would be dull so he voiced over as Whoopie read the text.

Maybe it would work if you could link it to the live action directly, sort of like flashbacks that explain the current situation.

I don't know if you use internal narrative or comment (I like that kind of thing) so I would approach it by making the internal narrative flashback to the cyber.

eg Vanessa twined her carmine nailed fingers with his. <bold>HH</bold>

Whatever you do I'd guess that short would be the way to go.

PS that was really difficult to work our how to type.

 

[Boota]

I did it in part one of my story No Harm, No Foul. I think I handled it decently. The two main characters meet online, so it had to be part of the piece. Plus, I figured it's being read on a computer, I imagine the people reading it are familiar with IM's and smileys.

Never have finished that damn story, though.

 

[The_Fool]

I think that interspersing it in brief chunks is a good choice. There's not a lot of description in cybersex, and I think that most people are filling in the blanks as they go. I've never seen a cybersex log that made particularly interesting reading. Breaking it up and moving other action forward around it sounds like a good way to manage it - either that or picking out a few great lines and condensing the rest into "three hours later, in a blur of lust and exhaustion, he finally logged off" or similar?

You never saw the one that I did in Elizabethan English...









Thank God....





Although it did give me my nom de plume

 

[TheeGoatPig]

If I see transcripts of the event I tend to zone out. I don't want to read what was typed out so much as what is being thought and felt by the characters as they go through the motions.

 

[BlackShanglan]

You've been doing it with the wrong person

*laugh*

Ah, no. When I found *that* person, we were far too busy making new ones to read the old.

 

[Lisa Denton]

You can also flash between the text they are typing, and describing the totally unbelievable stuff they are watching each other do on thier webcams.

(Did I say that out loud?)

 

[BlackShanglan]

You can also flash between the text they are typing, and describing the totally unbelievable stuff they are watching each other do on thier webcams.

(Did I say that out loud?)

Oooh ... or even begin it as the story of the past-believable amazing escapades of the two chat "protagonists," then gently start slipping in the actual chat lines and bringing it home to the reality of the screen. That could be fun too.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I did it a few years ago (http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=90011). It has to be done as a part of the action, not as the story itself.

 

[past_perfect]

I did it a few years ago (http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=90011). It has to be done as a part of the action, not as the story itself.

Nice one, Jenny...

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Nice one, Jenny...

Thank you.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

It wasn't cyber, but phone in this story...
Goodbye...

The "conversation" is back and forth, similar to cybering. But the story is of two people having a final phone sex episode.