The upper lip isn't all that's stiff...

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Pirated from another forum:

Unintentional double-entendres aired on British TV and radio:

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator:
"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator:
"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator:
"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977:
"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator:
"One of the reasons Arnie [Arnold> > Palmer] is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said:
"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:
"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.
 
The one about Arnies balls has to be the funniest Golf comment ever aired. :D
 
The one about Arnies balls has to be the funniest Golf comment ever aired. :D

Not quite, DP. Mrs Palmer appeared on the Tonight Show and herself gave the "I kiss his balls for luck" line, to which Johnny Cason replied, "I'll bet that makes his putter stand up!"
 
Not quite, DP. Mrs Palmer appeared on the Tonight Show and herself gave the "I kiss his balls for luck" line, to which Johnny Cason replied, "I'll bet that makes his putter stand up!"

I'd love a copy of both :D
 
And then there was the legendary line from Brian Johnston: "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey." during the test match between England & the West Indies at The Oval in 1976.
 
That's a shame about the Museum closing. I hope someone was able to preserve all that stuff. I think the Internet is responsible for people not checking the place out--they can see all kinds of bawdy humor with a few clicks of a mouse. A lot of that material is going to increase in historical value, and will be a treasure-trove for scholars. It put me in mind of George Orwell's essay on the postcards of Donald McGill.

I'd heard/read that one about the 8" (of snow) but number 4 was my favorite.

I wonder what was the immediate aftermath of all these gaffes--nowadays, we're used to squalls about someone's cheeeillllllldren could be (or could have been) watching and demands for an apology.
 
I wonder what was the immediate aftermath of all these gaffes--nowadays, we're used to squalls about someone's cheeeillllllldren could be (or could have been) watching and demands for an apology.

The aftermath would be giggles throughout the country; these are British, & we're not as easily shocked as a lot of Americans seem to be (or at least as a lot of American broadcasters & politicians seem to be). Anyone demanding an apology would probably also be laughed at. ;)
 
The aftermath would be giggles throughout the country; these are British, & we're not as easily shocked as a lot of Americans seem to be (or at least as a lot of American broadcasters & politicians seem to be). Anyone demanding an apology would probably also be laughed at. ;)

Got room for one more Yank? The sexual hypocrisy in this country makes me gag... and not in a good way.
 
I nearly did myself irreparable damage trying to read these out loud.
 
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