The UP and DOWN side of outting you and your literotican lover

[MissTaken]

Whether you are involved on line, in real life, met at lit or were a couple before coming to lit, do you let the rest of the forum know who you are involved with?

Why?

Why not?

What are the benefits?
What are the risks?

 

[penguindance]

 

[Minkey Boodle]

Not even a little bit. T'ain't anybody else's business.

 

[Guest]

Not even a little bit. T'ain't anybody else's business.

Ah, but my love for you is soooo obvious.

 

[modest mouse]

At some point people talk, guess, lie, etc so it can become info that in order to regain control you 'announce' it.

 

[Rubyfruit]

The up side: Your girlfriends won't get involved with him. Hopefully.

The down side: Public humilation 101.

 

[Minkey Boodle]

<deleted>

 

[RastaPope]

Nope.

 

[Phoenyx]

Whether you are involved on line, in real life, met at lit or were a couple before coming to lit, do you let the rest of the forum know who you are involved with?

Only if they want me to tell. If they dont i keep quiet.

 

[MissTaken]

At some point people talk, guess, lie, etc so it can become info that in order to regain control you 'announce' it.

That is interesting!

NOw that you make me consider this angle, it does seem that those who make small announcements are less privy to gossip and manipulation than those who are suspected of being involved.

It takes the spice out of it when it is fact and is downplayed by the minions?

Good point. Thanks, mm.

 

[perks]

The up side: Your girlfriends won't get involved with him. Hopefully.

*laughing*

 

[MissTaken]

The up side: Your girlfriends won't get involved with him. Hopefully.

The down side: Public humilation 101.

Ahhh but there are never any guarentees!

 

[penguindance]

 

[His_kitty]

Whether you are involved on line, in real life, met at lit or were a couple before coming to lit, do you let the rest of the forum know who you are involved with?

Why?

Why not?

What are the benefits?
What are the risks?

No I wouldn't, but I'm sure some could guess if they paid enough attention. lol

Because online stuff is hard enough as it is without the added pressure of everyone watching and knowing. Without others (and sadly this does happen) trying to harm that burgeoning relationship.

But there is a flip side to it as well.. sometimes you want to share that with everyone. You feel as though its some huge secret and I hate feeling like I'm keeping things from others.

 

[perks]

You don't need guarantees when you have trust.

okay, you guys are gonna make me swallow my tongue I'm laughing so hard. quit!!!

 

[Guest]

a while back... I was pretty open..


now...you couldn't pay me to spill my social life online.

 

[penguindance]

 

[Calamity Jane]

I don't think a big 'announcement' is required, but I don't see how keeping something totally secret can be a good thing either.

 

[penguindance]

 

[roxanne69]

My fiance joined lit about 2 weeks after I did. Nope, I didn't tell anyone who he was and probably never will.

 

[Nora]

Generally speaking, it's not my business who's doing whom and I really don't care or wanna know. I find the threads where lovers gush all over one to be kinda...um. Hysterical. Especially a couple of weeks later when they've broken up.

Conversely, and I've said this one before, if someone says to you, "oh, let's keep it a secret!" the odds that they're playing with other people just increased dramatically. If that's important to you, it's something to take into consideration.

 

[scrymettet]

My fiance joined lit about 2 weeks after I did. Nope, I didn't tell anyone who he was and probably never will.

Tease

 

[Zaudika]

For the most part No.
Mostly because its not really anyone elses business. There's a lot of drama that goes on the boards at times, its nice if you can avoid some aspects of it.
I do suppose that eventually some people find out over time, but as for making an announcement about it, really no need to do something like that.

 

[Kitte]

I think it really depends on the type of relationship you have. If you are a couple coming here for a little play...you may not tell anyone you are involved and if that is your thing more power too ya.

I have always been open about my status. I was still married when I first got to lit and I had it in my profile. And I have had two relationships that bega here...I was and am open about both. With the second one I am more cautious. We made an agreement that happy stuff is fun to share on the boards but anything negative is to be kept Offline.

It is not easy when everything you say to one another can be scrutinized but...I would not lie about my status because I am not looking for anything more then I have. That and hell he is so wonderful I want to shout it from the rooftops!!!!

We met here, we started talking here...we play here...it is a part of our dynamic as a couple.

I am wary of people who hide there status or encourage their SO's to do the same. It gives a feeling of unscrupulous behaviour.

 

[cybergirly]

It really depends on the couple. Some people are very open with thier lives here, others are more cautious. For me hiding something would be completely against my personality. The only thing I work at keeping off the board is my negativity, if I can't say something nice I don't say it at all.

Having been involved with someone here and then breaking up with them, I managed to keep the nasty stuff private.

If something were to happen in my current relationship, I'd work very hard to do the same thing.