The Truth is (NOT) out there . . .

[voluptuary_manque]

Australia has lost its UFO files.

 

[Guest]

deleted

 

[Stella_Omega]

"we're gonna need a bigger planet"

 

[Tio_Narratore]

"we're gonna need a bigger planet"

(Shhhh, Stella. We're working on the addition; what do you think all those home reno shows are there for?)

 

[Kurokami]

I'm sorry, but "We lost them"? That is the worst government cover-up I've ever seen.

 

[oggbashan]

I'm sorry, but "We lost them"? That is the worst government cover-up I've ever seen.

No worries, Mate.

If that's the best cover-up the Australian government can do, they're not planning to take over the world - yet.

If someone threatened their barbie weekends? That would be different. Australian troops, deprived of their beer and barbies, are among the most ferocious fighting forces in the world.

Any alien invaders could end up on the barbie.

P.S. Thinking about it, that may be why the files are lost. The Aussie government doesn't want to admit that aliens stating "We come in peace" ended up in pieces on the barbecue and were served to visiting dignatories. With Woomera's special radioactively-hot barbecue sauce who knew what they were eating?

 

[3113]

If someone threatened their barbie weekends? That would be different. Australian troops, deprived of their beer and barbies, are among the most ferocious fighting forces in the world.

Maybe they used the files to fire up the barbie?

Personally, I think Rupert Murdock took 'em because they reveal what he really is and what he's really trying to do....

 

[mynameisben]

"The truth is irrelevant." - Richard M. Nixon

 

[Tio_Narratore]

"The truth is irrelevant." - Richard M. Nixon

"Richard Milhouse Nixon is irrelevant." - The Truth

 

[R. Richard]

Why can't you people see the obvious?

The UFO aliens seized the files. Because if you saw the files then you wo

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Take care; RMN is wtaching froma UFO as we writ

 

[Verdad]

As the 13th planet approaches

Seeing that now we have eight, the approaching of the 13th strikes one as a tad arbitrary.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Seeing that now we have eight, the approaching of the 13th strikes one as a tad arbitrary.

Hey, planet status is a bit arbitrary, too, you know. Maybe someone should ask the statellites how they feel about it.

 

[Verdad]

Hey, planet status is a bit arbitrary, too, you know. Maybe someone should ask the statellites how they feel about it.

Ha! I should have said, anywhere between eight and “any number.”

Satellites, their feelings notwithstanding, are not usually a problem, though I think there is some indecision as to when a moon is a moon and when it’s a binary system.

 

[Guest]

deleted

 

[Tio_Narratore]

You all have it wrong. What we're really dealing with here is a potential deity in the anti-universe (well, maybe it's just a very ambitious positron) who would like to attain immanency in its anti-universe (our universe, that is, or maybe just an electron). But deities can only exist through belief (The same may hold of electrons and positrons; I'm not sure. Perhaps we should ask Bishop Berkeley), and so it has meta-projected the notion of time into our species' minds (or electron clouds) to be realized as the Mayan Long Count. That notion of time, as the other-universe's deity/positron expected, resulted in our species' attempt to explain it by imagining a cyclical object to fit the cycle- the long-term not-yet-existant planet. If enough people believe in it (and clap their hands to show it), the planet will come into existance. But it won't really be a planet at all; it will be that wanna-be god/positron from the anti-universe. And it's tricked us into looking for signs in earthquakes and storms and tornadoes, when we should really be looking at what's going on at CERN. They been keeping positrons around longer than ever before; do you think that's just coincidental? If you do, consider this: it is the Canadian scientists who've had the greatest success at this nefarious endeavour. That's right! Canadians! What more proof could you want?

 

[Verdad]

Sorry, Verdad that was a reference to Zecharia Sitchin's series "The 12th Planet," and I got the number wrong, it's been awhile since I read it. Anyway, it's a beautiful strawman fallacy about how the Earth was actually colonized by a rogue 12th planet that rotates our sun every 25,000 years (Mayan Calendar long count). The work has some thought provoking stuff in it, but it's all a house of cards standing in the wind. When the first premise is knocked down the rest of it falls. BUT for many of the Alien conspiracy theorists out there, it is a staple and mainstay. The value of the work is the way that it deals with ancient religions and how and why they have so many similarities. Now that the long count is completing it's first cycle in human memory, there are many who speculate that all the catastrophes we are experiencing are realated to it's arrival. Even stranger are the rapture folks who put some credence in the idea that certain people will be taken up and sheltered while the Earth suffers the cataclysmic effects of the gravitational forces another planet will exert on our planet as it comes close to us. I think if there were any truth to any of it, the folks at Nasa would have found it by now. At least the Hubble space telescope should have seen it. Unless it's cloaked. Cue X-Files theme now.

Oh, doesn’t matter, Surely. Tenth, twelfth, fifteenth, they just move it as appropriate. I just thought it was funny how the current classification ruins the assignment of a catchy number to the threat.

I think I have read something about that book on one of those occasions when it’s infinitely more interesting to click on bizarre links than to read what you’re supposed to be reading. I got the idea it was bonkers even for its genre, with like periodic planetary drives-by during which the aliens jump on over to see what’s up with us.

 

[Guest]

deleted

 

[LettersFromTatyana]

I'll be immature and mention the old South Park episode that featured Earth as a reality TV show for aliens.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I'll be immature and mention the old South Park episode that featured Earth as a reality TV show for aliens.

At least South Park recognized Canada for the threat it is!

 

[stephen55]

So the Aussie military has lost it's UFO files. Only the conspiracy illiterate would ever believe such nonsense.

Back in April of 1962, the Australian military investigated an alleged UFO crash just outside of Wagga Wagga in New South Wales. The official report, titled, "Crikey!! Would You Lunatics Give a Man Some Peace?" was a thinly disguised effort to cover up the location, recovery and hiding of living aliens.

In an effort to boost the moral of the shocked and emotionally traumatized Aussie servicemen, Colonel Bruce "Digger" Roberts-Smith, in a moment of Aussie brilliance, decided to throw a barbie. Unfortunately, the beverage served was the local and notorious "Rod Laver Genuine Australian Wagga Wagga Water".

All the bouquet of a swagman's sleeping bag! One bottle opens the sluices at both ends, mate. Two bottles and you've really had it!

The cook in charge of keeping the barbies loaded with shrimp, mutton and the local delicacy called "Wombat Woofers" ran out of supplies. Having had not one, not two, but three bottles of Wagga Wagga Water, he went in search of edible inedibles and...

Upon learning that the military's evidence of alien life had been sacrificed upon the barbie, (now) Brigadier General Bruce "Digger" Roberts-Smith quietly burned "Crikey!! Would You Lunatics Give a Man Some Peace?" and had his Adjutant type up "Report on UFOs/Strange Occurrences and Phenomena in Woomera".

Woomera, a rocket and missile testing range and Cold War icon in central South Australia, made a much better location for an alleged alien incident than Wagga Wagga!!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And it's hardly a coincidence that Wagga Wagga is diametrically in apposition to the city of Walla Walla, Washington, providing absolute proof that they mark the entrance and exit of a black hole passing through the earth at the last appearance of the 12th planet and the start of the Long Count that will soon end the Fifth Sun, that of Ollin.

And if you need anymore proof, just check a map and see how close Walla Walla is to Canada!

 

[TE999]

I understand a note was found in the file box reading "So long and thanks for all the fish. Flipper and friends."

 

[Tio_Narratore]

PANIC!​

 

[stephen55]

And it's hardly a coincidence that Wagga Wagga is diametrically in apposition to the city of Walla Walla, Washington, providing absolute proof that they mark the entrance and exit of a black hole passing through the earth at the last appearance of the 12th planet and the start of the Long Count that will soon end the Fifth Sun, that of Ollin.

And if you need anymore proof, just check a map and see how close Walla Walla is to Canada!

So that's why us Canucks have been seeing kangaroos and wombats wandering around the neighborhood.