The truth is harder than fiction (closed)

[DrMelonCollie]

I'd risen from the ranks of secretary, and done it with no hurt feelings. I still went out with the 'girls' on Hump Day where I could let my hair down and be myself, instead of the prim proper professional I was required to be at work. My last long term relationship had ended over a year ago when I caught him cheating with the apartment complex slut, Darlene who would spread her legs for just about anything. So I'd undergone rigorous testing for STD's since Mick hated condoms and after a clean bill of health had celebrated my last birthday in Vegas, which is when I discovered I had a latex allergy and since the pill and other hormonal birth control made me a zombie, I had lost an entire summer before a follow up appointment before my doctor had me taken off them. So I was stuck with all the desire without many options for release.

In the end I bought a really nice vibrator and figured I'd just play by myself until I was ready to put my heart on the line again.

It was midweek and my 29th birthday and we were supposed to go out and celebrate, but slowly the calls had been coming in all day. Couldn't get a sitter, their mom was having a bad day, boyfriend didn't want them going out with the girls. It was 4:30pm and I just realized I was going to be alone for my birthday. It was a far cry from last years Vegas vacation.

I wished I could just put a personal ad out for a clean friendly dick, with a smart mouth, and warm hands. But I lived and worked in the city and I'd learned the hard way that the truth was harder to get than fiction.

Melanie got on the elevator and immediately took off her jacket and tucked it into her oversized bag. I pulled my hair down and sighed as I thought about how pathetic it would be to go drink alone on my birthday. I weighed this against how pathetic it would be to go buy a pint of Raspberry Chocolate Truffle Swirl and eat it all while watching one of my favorite movies "Working Girl."

It was a quarter past six as I hadn't wanted to leave at five and deal with the usual crowd so the elevator was empty when I got on, the doors opened a few floors later and a man got on. My thoughts immediately began assessing his ass, and I began to wonder if he was a dick, or just had a dick.

http://theprofile.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Katy-Mixon.jpg

 

[musicankane]

http://www.popsugar.com/Channing-Tatum

Derek Rose was done for the day. Done for the fucking week. Four cases, all criminal and he was defending the wrong damn side. One of the picks had stabbed his own wife over burnt pasta. Derek hated being a criminal defense attorney. He absolutely hated it. But it was what he had to do.

Having only graduated law school six months ago, criminal defense work was all he could do until he built a name for himself. His boss told him in criminal defense, it wasn't winning cases because your clients are scumbags and fuck them, it was HOW you made your case. Derek had to show a bright mind and the ability to think outside the box before he would earn the right for different case work.

Derek wanted to be a real estate or asset management lawer. Working for celebrities and athletes. That was the dream.

Fuck it though. It was Friday. He was finished and he had won two of his cases. The stabbing guy got 15 years which Derek had reduced to 14 just to make it look like he tried. And the last guy who robbed a bank got life in prison with parole possibilities in 30 years.

Now it was July 4th weekend and he was gonna go get fucking hammered. He wished he had a girlfriend still, Julie had been a very pretty little blonde who cut his heart out by fucking his best friend. Six months ago. Fuck women, fuck friends. He didn't need that shit. He only needed a Buffalo Wild Wings and a pitcher of Miller and he was fucking good.

The elevator opened and he walked in with a smile. There was a woman already in the box and he regretting the fact that he had pulled his tie up around his forehead. He kept a straight face and nodded a simply greeting at her as he stepped inside and turned toward the door.

He smiled at her and pointed at his tie, "Casual Friday."

 

[DrMelonCollie]

Ah, a goofball, he instantly was downgraded from cock to comic. "All the better to strangle you with my dear," she said in her silly wicked witch of the west voice.

She moved in closer and casually but carefully rearranged his tie so it set nicely on his collar and slide the knot to where it should be, "If this was porn my line would have been *changing voice to sultry* 'It would look much better on my bedroom floor'," she chuckled again, wondering why she was still standing so close to him, and why she still had her hand on his neck tie.

She slowly let her hands fall away, "Sorry it's been a shitty day and I need a drink, but I hate drinking alone." She bit her lower lip, she was blathering on. Then again he hadn't been insulted/offended etc by her gesture so she just reminded herself that this wasn't her ex who would alternate between jack ass and jack me off, as she waited for him to speak.

 

[musicankane]

Derek felt a little odd that she stepped so close to fix his tie. Yet he didn't say anything because she had come from the floor above him, which meant she worked with higher up people in the law firm than he did. Hell she might even be a partner. He didn't know, and he wasn't about to say anything to upset someone that could fire his fucking ass.

He relaxed when she said she needed a beer. It implied that she wouldn't tell on him for his tie thing. He swallowed as she lingered close a bit longer than he thought was professional. Was she hitting on him? No come on, she had to be some kind of divorce atturney or something. Someone no nonsense and serious.

Maybe. She was young. Maybe the serious bug hadn't bitten her ass yet.

Derek shrugged, "You alone on a Friday night? Damn shame. Don't sweat it though, I am in the same boat. But I have a plan." He winked. "I'm gonna hit up Bee Dubs and grab some wings and beer, then see how long it takes for me to need a cab." He kissed his fingers and said, "Perfect Friday night. You can rag along if you wanna have a beer with a random guy off the elevator. You know the place off Johnson and Main?"

 

[DrMelonCollie]

Margo thought it could be better than the bottle of Merlot and pint of ice cream she had been planning. Or it could be a disaster, a good story to tell her friends when they asked what she had done on her birthday.

She was trying to decide if she liked being called a rag, or if he really was random. She proscribed to the every chance happens for a reason, you just have to be open to taking it. So it was why not?

"Sure I know the place, I like the spicy wings." She usually stopped before needing a cab, mainly because she had a fairly high tolerance for alcohol, and saw no need to drink like a fish to have fun. They rode to ground level and got off the elevator.

Oddly enough they did not talk shop. It was nice to be able to turn off the legal jargon and be for lack of a better term goofy for a night.

 

[musicankane]

Derek smiled and clapped his hands, "Oh a spicy fan. I love it. Spicy wings are my favorite. But I can't do as spicy as I used too on account of my sensitive booty." He teased as they walked out of the front of the building and onto the city streets.

Derek glanced at his watch and looked at her. "So let's meet in like.....an hour? Gotta wash the bad taste of criminal defense off my skin before I drown my liver." He suggested, backing away slowly toward where his apartment was. "Oh and the name is Derek by the way."

He gave her a wink and pulled his tie back up around his forehead before spinning on his heel and walked down the street.

Derek loved living in his small flat in the city. It was only a few blocks from work, which allowed him to walk just about everywhere and keep himself in shape, plus he never had to worry about getting too shit faced as he was usually within walking distance from home, or at worst a cheap cab ride home.

An hour later Derek stood outside Bee Dubs wearing a T-shirt and jeans, his hands hanging from his pockets.

 

[DrMelonCollie]

Margo didn't offer her name just yet, and agreed she wanted to strip off her legal gear. She watched him walk away enjoying his.....booty. Shaking her head slightly at his choice of words, she walked to the parking garage and got into her car. She lived a little further from the office, having done the adult thing and gotten a mortgage in the last year. After the break up she needed a new place to live and wanted a change of scenery.

Too many of her old friends thought she should just forgive forget and marry Mick. That was long behind her and she pulled into the driveway and went inside her home. Not that it was very homey, newer construction and most of the walls were still decorator beige. She stripped off her clothes, took a brief shower, trying not to think of Derek in the shower and failing.

She looked in her closet, finally settling on a dark blue little thing that would blend in with the bar crowd, and still show off her body. A quick swipe of lipstick and some eyeliner and she was ready to go. The best thing about dark hair was not having to put on mascara.

Margo parked, got out of her car, looked it, and walked towards the bar. She noticed he was waiting outside for her and she smiled. Casual looked good on him, almost better than the suit, which was odd since most men looked a lot better in a suit, she found herself wondering what he would look like au naturel.

 

[musicankane]

Derek grinned and spread his arms wide as he spotted her walking towards him. "Hey you made it. I was this close to dying of alcohol withdraws, I almost went in and ordered without you." He teased, for the briefest of seconds he let his eyes roam over her body in that blue dress. First thing he noticed was her hips, looking like she could sway them for days if she wanted.

He blocked it out of his mind before it could develop further though. He wasn't looking for a woman, his ex had fucked him over and that was a horse he needed a break from for the time being.

He led them inside and they were shown a booth in the corner under a big screen showing the Womens World Cup. As they sat Derek asked, "Alright how you wanna do this? We can do a pitcher of anything alcoholic and just share, maybe get a huge pile of wings as well. Or would you rather not risk getting my cooties?" He teased with a smile.

 

[DrMelonCollie]

Margo smiled, she couldn't help it, he was funny. It was nice to be with a guy who wasn't trying to undo her bra or get into her panties. "Well we were in an elevator together, I've probably already been exposed." She leaned forward a little to speak, forgetting about her cleavage.

"I like anything made my Sam Adams, and I hate blue cheese dressing."

Her foot occasionally brushed his under the table, since he was rather tall and it was playful rather than awkward. When he spilled on her hand she just licked it off, and they laughed about it. It had been a long time since she'd laughed so much, and when the first round of wings were gone she asked if he could knew how to shake his groove thing.

Mick had been jealous type so in the past she'd danced with gays and a few married guys, since Mick had two left feet. It was nice to just dance sometimes, but with pulling Mick on the dance floor meant he got to be dominant in the bedroom. Not that she minded, just that he tended to be a jerk about it.

Why was she thinking about him? especially sex with him? It had been over a year. It was probably because of his dick, the only perfect thing about him, and when it was good it had been damn good, and when it was bad it had still be orgasmic.

Maybe it was dancing, with a man, a man she was finding herself liking. A slower song came on, and rather than leave she snuggled her body up against his and let herself enjoy the feel of his hands. After the slow song she gently extracted herself from his embrace and excused herself to the bathroom.

Margo looked in the mirror, "What was I thinking?" she softly said to herself, waiting for her heartbeat to slow down. Thankful that she had stopped herself before she'd gone all Dirty Dancing on him. Damn it she needed to fuck, and not some inanimate object either.

The major problem with casual sex was the risk, especially with her latex allergy. Non casual sex, well she wasn't ready to risk her heart again, and professional sex, paying for it was a turn off. She'd gone to a massage parlor once that had plenty of male masseuses, and he'd done a good job with his hands, but she had wanted more, and had wound up more frustrated then when she'd gone in.

She looked back at herself in the mirror, okay she looked much calmer. So she washed her hands and returned to the table.

 

[musicankane]

Derek smacked the table, "A woman after my own heart. Sam Adams ale and wings with hot sauce and ranch the way God in tented coming right up." He smiled and placed the order with the waitress.

While they waited for the food Derek and Margo talked, laughed, joked, the whole nine yards. He told her about how much he hated doing criminal defense. Telling her the story about the guy he just defended in court that afternoon. The guy had stabbed and killed his wife because, literally, she kept bringing him warm beers and cooking shitty food. Derek couldn't even come up with and honest defense, and he really hadn't wanted to. Still he did his job because that is what would get him noticed with the firm, although his client was found guilty Derek bargained to get him patrol potential in fifteen years if he behaved. So that was kind of a win as far as the firm was concerned.

As they drank and ate, Derek noticed her foot bumping him under the table. At first he figured it as accident, after all he was a bit on the tall side so he took up more room under the table. But as the dinner rolled on she continued to do it, even rubbing her foot up his leg a bit. It confused him in a way as Margo gave no other hints that she was hitting on him. Conversation was fun but normal, she didn't even have flirty eyes.

Then she asked if he knew how to dance. This made Derek smile, as nobody knew this about him but he had paid for college by being a male stripper at a club near where he went to school. He made a killing at it too, by the time he graduated he had completely paid all his student loans and had enough saved up to rent the apartment near work. And even though he hated criminal law, it paid well too.

So they went dancing, and Derek tore that shit up. Though he did avoid stripper dance moves unless he was doing them in jest. Margo was smiling and appeared to be having a great time until a slow song came on and she got a look on her face that worried him.

Margo excused herself and ran off to the restroom, leaving Derek in the middle of the dance floor. He shrugged and made his way back to their table to kill the last bit of booze from his glass.

 

[DrMelonCollie]

Margo

She returned to the table, somewhat calmer. "I was feeling a little too hot." She picked up her glass and finished off what was left, not that it was cold after they'd been out their shaking it.

"I'm just having a lot of fun, and I keep forgetting that I just met you." She smiled hoping she wasn't sticking her foot in her mouth. Really she had been just acting like he was one of the girls, and up there until the end she hadn't been thinking of him as a sex object.

But right now it seemed all she could think of was him as a sex object. A dick to ride for her own pleasure, which was totally not like her at all. Which is why she was wondering what his face would look like lit up with pleasure alternated with the idea of using him as a sex toy.

She wanted the benefits part of friends with benefits. Her friends were all pretty straight laced, sure there had been a few drunken kisses or a smacked rump, but nothing more.

Margo was thinking of doing a lot more than dancing with Derek. "So please forgive me, this is not how I planned to spend my birthday."

 

[musicankane]

Derek smiled and spread his hands, "Is there some rule against having fun with someone new?" He asked her giving her his best smile. "I can't let you have a shitty birthday right?"

As if on que the waitress came with a slice of their really not very good chocolate cake and a lit candle in it. She set the cake in front of Margo and wished her a Happy Birthday. Derek gesture to the cake and shrugged, "Case in point. Make a wish."

As much fun as he was having with Margo he was afraid of letting her in completely. For one, he had just met her, and for another he had gotten really betrayed by his last girlfriend. He wasn't sure he could handle another one right now. He couldn't trust anyone.

Sure he could let himself go and cut loose, but actually getting involved with a woman so quickly just sounded like disaster to him. So he would 0lay things casual with Margo. Build a friendship that might become more but there was no reason to push it too far.

 

[DrMelonCollie]

"No the rule is, once bitten twice shy," she blew out the candle and wished to not crash and burn. The crashing could be fun, but the burning not so much. Which led her back to thinking hot thoughts about him, and when she tried to think of ice cubes they became sex toys. "I just need to keep reminding myself you are new, and not an old buddy."

Usually by now they would all be bitching about the men or lack of men in their lives. It was strange new territory to be out with someone of the opposite gender but not on a date. It was nice to not have to worry about what he was thinking of her, even as she tried not to think of his body au naturel.

She was faced with a conundrum, the beer would loosen her tongue slightly, but dancing would loosen the rest of her. Plus he wasn't some random bar pickup, she would cross paths with him at work, so she couldn't just use him and toss him like a used condom. Not that she would be using condoms. They talked and laughed, and she did her best to keep from saying something that could be interpreted as a pick up line.

Though she did find the waitress's interest slightly annoying.

 

[musicankane]

Derek shook his head. "Fuck it? Why not?" He asked looking at her. Then he changed his voice into an old man voice and said, "I can be an old buddy. What would to be talking about to an oooooolllllldddddd friend? Penis sizes of exes?"

He grabbed his beer and laughed, "Come on I can take it. I'll tell you about my ex fucking a horse if you want." He teased.

The thing with Margo was the potential relationship he could have with her. He liked the idea of having a female friend he could get chick advice from, cuninglingus pointers and just some to shoot the shit with without having to worry about any kind of tension or consequences. So far she seemed really relaxed and cool to hang with although that could be the beer. He had a feeling she had let her hair down far more than she had intended to with him already tonight.

Especially the way she danced. There was a rocking body under them clothes that had Derek at least a little curious.

 

[DrMelonCollie]

"Ewww," she chuckled. "I've heard of guys hung like a horse, but that's taking it too far. We'd probably be talking about how long it's been since we got some, and I always win those conversations. Then someone mentions how crummy my ex is doing and we trash the current slut he's banging." I laugh again, "Then we begin ex bashing in earnest as the shot glasses empty, as we drink if we've been there done that."

"So being a guy, tell me why do men go for women who spread their legs at the drop of a hat?"

 

[musicankane]

Derek laughed as she joked about the tales they would tell each other. It sounded like a blast. He leaned back and thought about her question. "Honestly. It is about the ease of it really."

He leaned forward and played with a wing, "One thing girls don't understand is just how much effort goes in to trying to get into your pants. We have to buy drinks, dinner, entertainment while at the same time being entertaining ourselves. You women are a fucking insane dance that us dudes have to do in order to get that ass. I'm just being honest. So when we get a chance to get laid easy, we take it."

He leaned back, "I mean not for nothing but a hot girl like you can pretty much go out and get laid whenever you want. The only reason you probably dont....is you don't wanna be considered a slut. I say do whatever makes you happy. If you wanna fuck every night with different dudes...then go for it....just be safe is all. Not that big of a deal if you ask me."

Derek smiled, "The real reason why chick's don't do that shit is you all are wired to look more for a care taker and provider. Dudes will fuck anything that moves because we are wired to fill as many wombs with our sperm as humanly possible."

 

[DrMelonCollie]

"I think the reason we don't put out, is because one night stands don't really do it for us, physically or emotionally. It's a lot of risk to pick a guy who you hope is nice and reasonably equipped, and if the sex isn't great, then you feel like shit."

She sighed and took a drink, "You're lucky since your equipment is a lot easier to operate." She supposed she understood it on a biological level. "I guess you have to bang a really crazy skank before you learn it's better to not fuck around."

"Of course my girl friends also complain about Baby Mama Drama, from those guys who weren't so careful about protection."

"So basically for me anyway, it's worth finding a guy I like to be with, because if the sex isn't stellar, then it's a lot easier to talk about." She paused again, "Of course some guys take it rather personally, which is why women fake orgasms."

 

[musicankane]

Derek shrugged, "I suppose. Personally dating feels too much like a job interview. As a man I always feel like I am applying for a job in your pussy. You know? Maybe next time I go on a date I'll bring a resume."

He waved his hand, "It's too fucking complicated. Look you woo and chick only to find out she sucks in bed, and then you are stuck because you don't wanna hurt her feelings. So you end up like looking for other reasons to break up with her."

He looked at her, "Why can't people just fuck first, then if that's good you can build a relationship from that. I mean some girls think that sex is some big fucking reward and just lay there like a dead body. It's like they think that the guy should feel honored he is even getting any to begin with. Guys don't give a shit how hot you might be, if you don't do shit in bed they will blow you off. It takes two to tango."