The Truth: How Many Lit Members Does It Take?

[yui]

(Disclaimer: These are not my words! If you've seen it or it's been posted previously, please forgive me! It's a forward and while I hate forwards, this one is just so apropos to any board, at any minute, that I had to share. Very sorry! )

How many message board members does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

Seven more to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

Five to flame the spell checkers.

Three to correct spelling/grammar flames.

Six to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"... another six to condemn those six as stupid.

Fifteen to claim experience in the lighting industry and give the correct spelling.

Nineteen to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb (or light bulb) forum.

Eleven to defend the posting to the group saying that we all use light bulbs and there fore the posts are relevant to this group.

Thirty six to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

Seven to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

Four to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL.

Three to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

Thirteen to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

Five to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

Four to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

Thirteen to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs."

Three to tell a funny story about their show dog and a light bulb.

AND

One group lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

 

[impressive]

So ... cum or come ?

 

[English Lady]

There just aren't enough writerly threads round here anymore.

Yui, you should be ashamed of yourself!

 

[Quiet_Cool]

You're taking the long route again, yui...

Just ask how to change the damned thing; no one will judge.



Q_C

 

[wishfulthinking]

You're taking the long route again, yui...

Just ask how to change the damned thing; no one will judge.



Q_C

I agree.

And here's a link: [not]

 

[Liar]

Light bulbs huh? Should be easy. I mean, aren't we supposed to be some kind of experts on screwing things, at least in theory?

 

[Dar~]

I changed this lighbulb once and it sucked b/c I burned my finger. Fucking lightbulbs.

 

[SeaCat]

Yui,

Welcome back!!!!!!
How many litizens does it take to change a lightbulb? Damned if I know.
How many Litizens does it take to have incredible wild sex? Two, but then it will take a hell of a lot of us to write about it.

God I'm glad to see you back. I might have to write another story just to show you how glad I am. I'll just have to think up another good one for you.

Cat

 

[LadyJeanne]

That reminds me...I have two light bulbs I need to change.

 

[SeaCat]

That reminds me...I have two light bulbs I need to change.

Need help?

Cat

 

[LadyJeanne]

Need help?

Cat

I'd love some help. You could hold me steady as I stand on tiptoes to reach, but if you start feeling up my legs and looking up my skirt, it could turn into a steamy seduction in the dark.

 

[glynndah]

I didn't see anything about posting pictures of naked light bulbs.

 

[JRaven]

I'm going to have to bump this thread again. Six months from now!

 

[cloudy]

I just can't resist.

for amicus:
How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would have already caused it to happen.

How many amoebas does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. No, two. No, four. No, eight. No, sixteen. No, thirty-two.......

How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. You can do it yourself, dammit.

How many sexual deviants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One but it takes the entire cast of E.R. to get it out.

How many Irish does it take to change a lightbulb?
Never mind, we'll drink in the dark.

How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight. One to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

How many Jewish grandmothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. I'll sit in the dark. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me.

How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five - one to change the light bulb and the other four to fill out the Environmental Impact Statement.

How many MicroSoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.

How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
We don't know. They never get past the feasibility study.

How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?
That depends on the speed of the changer, and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. Then it just might be easier to leave the bulb alone and change the room. It's all relative.

How many military information officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
At the present point in time it is against policy and the best interests of military strategy to divulge information of such a statistical nature. Next question, please.

How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One -- plus or minus three

and my personal favorite:

How many existentialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.

 

[minsue]

YUI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *FLYINGLEAPINGTACKLEHUGS*

Thirteen to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

Or add:

. .



I hate when people do that.

 

[yui]

So ... cum or come ?

Me, too.

There just aren't enough writerly threads round here anymore.

Yui, you should be ashamed of yourself!

But it says it, right there! We all use light bulbs, therefore this topic pertains to all of us! How could we write in the dark?

You're taking the long route again, yui...

Just ask how to change the damned thing; no one will judge.



Q_C

Thank you for not judging, QC! How very *cough* enlightened you are. Actually, I was hoping you would volunteer to… nevermind; I wouldn't want to inconvenience you. http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/traurig/65.gif

I agree.

And here's a link: [not]

Your link's not working, wishful. Maybe someone could fix it for you….

Light bulbs huh? Should be easy. I mean, aren't we supposed to be some kind of experts on screwing things, at least in theory?

You're right, Liar, and I must admit that the light bulb is actually a metaphor for sexual frustration. So, if you would just screw it in, sweetness, I think I see a bright light coming toward me. http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/diverse/4472.gif

Fucking lightbulbs.

*snort* Sure, it's all well and good until someone gets hurt….

Yui,

Welcome back!!!!!!
How many litizens does it take to change a lightbulb? Damned if I know.
How many Litizens does it take to have incredible wild sex? Two, but then it will take a hell of a lot of us to write about it.

God I'm glad to see you back. I might have to write another story just to show you how glad I am. I'll just have to think up another good one for you.

Cat

Cat!!!

Thank you! It's so wonderful to see you! Put on your water-wings and get the pussy raft! Katrina is knocking on your door!

I'm very glad to be back and I'm very glad you're here.

Oh! Another story! Whoop, whoop! You could make a theme of sorts out of "leaving the light on for you," maybe? (Not really, just trying to interject a bit of authorial-ness into my blatant h/j. )

That reminds me...I have two light bulbs I need to change.

You will let us know how that goes, won't you?

Need help?

Cat

Did you work in the light bulb industry?

I'd love some help. You could hold me steady as I stand on tiptoes to reach, but if you start feeling up my legs and looking up my skirt, it could turn into a steamy seduction in the dark.

Hussy! *fanning self*

I didn't see anything about posting pictures of naked light bulbs.

As long as all the light bulbs are at least 18 watts then it is acceptable; however, no light bulbs under 18 watts are permitted, without exception. Proof of wattage must be provided at time of posting. Thank you.

I'm going to have to bump this thread again. Six months from now!

*mutter, mutter* Bloody lurkers….

 

[yui]

and my personal favorite:

How many existentialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.

Wow. That's deep....




But is it "lightbulb" or light bulb?
















I love you, Cloudy; please don't hurt me.

YUI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *FLYINGLEAPINGTACKLEHUGS*

Or add:

. .



I hate when people do that.

MINMINMINMINMIN!!! *RUNJUMPPOUNCELEAPTACKLEHUGS*

Or what to say when you don't know what to say…

""






I miss you. Be home soonish?

Be safe.

 

[cloudy]

Wow. That's deep....

But is it "lightbulb" or light bulb?

lightbulb.

I love you, Cloudy; please don't hurt me.

Never. I love you, too.

 

[minsue]

MINMINMINMINMIN!!! *RUNJUMPPOUNCELEAPTACKLEHUGS*

Or what to say when you don't know what to say…

""






I miss you. Be home soonish?

Be safe.

I's home. For a day, that is, before taking off again on Saturday morning. Miss you, too.


Miss that pink bikini, too....

 

[maggot420]

thanks for my best laugh of the day Yui
Im so glad you are back

 

[rgraham666]

This thread seems oddly familiar. Didn't we have one just like it a couple of months ago.

(Making sure all the bases are covered )

 

[LadyJeanne]

You will let us know how that goes, won't you?

Well, THAT was an adventure, let me tell you! The first light bulb that needed replacing was in the track lights in my kitchen. My landlord is too cheap to have had a professional install them, so the lights tend to be cock-eyed anyway. The ceiling is high and they burn our rather frequently, so I've developed a foolproof method for getting up there. First, I climb onto the kitchen sink holding on to the cabinets above, and then I inch my way over and and sort of lean out until I can reach the bulb. Scritch, scritch, scritch, and it's out. Scritch, scritch, scritch, new one in. Everything was fine until I jumped down off the counter. I had forgotten that I was wearing my ankle weights, the heavier ones I wear around the house instead of the ones I wear when walking in the park. Boom! I came down much harder on the floor than I intended, prompting my neighbor downstairs to ring me up on the phone to make sure I hadn't killed myself or anything.


The next bulb proved a little trickier. This one was in the hanging fixture in the living room, and with the Victorian ceilings in there, I probably should have gone upstairs to get the old wooden barstool, but I was too lazy for that. Besides, I was still wearing the ankle weights and always scare the cat when I boom up the stairs with them on. So I hopped onto one of the metal cubes that I use as coffee tables, and by standing on tippy-toes, I was just barely able to reach the fixture. Just barely. My angle was all wrong to reach into the cup to unscrew the bulb, but I found that if I tilted the fixture just a little bit, I could grab enough of the bulb with my fingertips to unscrew it. Fortunately, it wasn't tight and I was able to get the dusty bulb out without misfortune. Screwing the new one in, though, proved to be a huge challenge. I couldn't see what I was doing, so finding the socket, putting the bulb straight in there, and then turning, turning, turning with my fingertips while balanced on my toes...I can tell you I was perspiring a little bit by the time I was done!

Except I wasn't really done! I climbed off the table and turned on the dimmer switch - nothing! The light didn't go on! Once I had balanced on my toes again and touched the bulb, I realized I hadn't screwed it in straight and had to start the process all over again. This time, I nearly pulled the fixture out of the ceiling as I started to lose my balance, but managed to let go and jumped onto the couch instead just as I was about to fall and bring the whole thing down on top of me. Boy, would my landlord have been pissed about that!

Thank goodness I had put the darn bulb in straight this time, and when I flipped the switch, the room flooded with a warm glow.

 

[sincerely_helene]

(Disclaimer: These are not my words! If you've seen it or it's been posted previously, please forgive me! It's a forward and while I hate forwards, this one is just so apropos to any board, at any minute, that I had to share. Very sorry! )

How many message board members does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes Yui baby,
It takes Yui, baby.
It just takes Yui.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Yui will be doing this all over again next month, unless she gets heavy duty light bulbs.

 

[Kassiana]

And one to complain that she feels left out because she uses candles.