The Three Phases of Dominance

[MissTaken]

Clipped form an article I was reading tonight:

The three phases I see are as follows:



1. The Man/Woman: A Dominant just being themselves. Reading the paper, watching tv, playing board games, laughing, joking, living life. Dominants need to be comfortable just being Themselves. Being Yourself fulfills a submissive’s needs for Friend, Spouse, Partner, Lover, Parent, and so many other qualities often associated with being “vanilla”. Being comfortable being Yourself makes You, You. It is stressless. For both of Y/you.

2. Sir/Ma’am: In this phase the Dominant is Teacher, Guide, Decision Maker, and many of the other roles that require a clear distinction between the Dominant and submissive roles.

3. Master/Mistress: The firm role. The Disciplinarian and most common role for scening and sexual pleasures.



These were outlined in an article I was reading.

What percentage of time do you, as a Dom/me spend in each of these roles?

Submissives? What do you do when your Dom/me is in one role and you feel a need for them to be in another?

 

[lark sparrow]

One submissive's perspective

.

Submissives? What do you do when your Dom/me is in one role and you feel a need for them to be in another?

I think these are good definitions of the roles, but find they are much more fluid than a, b or c. She is all of these things and expresses them at will. Sometimes we are at odds - we both give and take - in the final analysis She does decide how it will be in our relationship, if we are to have one. The bottomline is and always will be that She is my Mistress first and She defines what She is.

I can ask for more or less control, but I cannot control how She reacts to my desires or how She exerts Her control over me. To a certain extent I think She even finds it amusing but, if I begin to truly cross a line by trying to "force" the firm, disciplinarian Mistress role, there is sincerely no pleasure for either to be found. I try to go with Her flow, occasionally I fail miserably as Mistress can attest to, but, usually if I am honest and respectful She can and will handle whatever it is in Her own time and way.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Clipped form an article I was reading tonight:

The three phases I see are as follows:



1. The Man/Woman: A Dominant just being themselves. Reading the paper, watching tv, playing board games, laughing, joking, living life. Dominants need to be comfortable just being Themselves. Being Yourself fulfills a submissive’s needs for Friend, Spouse, Partner, Lover, Parent, and so many other qualities often associated with being “vanilla”. Being comfortable being Yourself makes You, You. It is stressless. For both of Y/you.

2. Sir/Ma’am: In this phase the Dominant is Teacher, Guide, Decision Maker, and many of the other roles that require a clear distinction between the Dominant and submissive roles.

3. Master/Mistress: The firm role. The Disciplinarian and most common role for scening and sexual pleasures.



These were outlined in an article I was reading.

What percentage of time do you, as a Dom/me spend in each of these roles?

Submissives? What do you do when your Dom/me is in one role and you feel a need for them to be in another?

 

[Ebonyfire]

Clipped form an article I was reading tonight:

Since I spend the most time with sissyboy, I will answer this with O/our relationship in mind. He is a part-time sub.

1. The Man/Woman:
20%



2. Sir/Ma’am: In this phase the Dominant is Teacher, Guide, Decision Maker, and many of the other roles that require a clear distinction between the Dominant and submissive roles.

0%

3. Master/Mistress:

80%


Ebony

 

[Goddess Helena]

1. The Woman 55%.

2. Ma'am 5%.

3. Mistress 40%.

O/our relationship continues to grow and change as time passes. My boy requires less training now. O/our schedules do not allow as much play as either of U/us would like. However, W/we are working on that. O/our relationship continues to be a work in progress.

MissTaken, wonderful question. I was surprised at how long I had to think this one over.


Helena

 

[bunny bondage]

1. The Man/Woman:

a lot of the time, we interact at this level.

2. Sir/Ma’am:

this blends in with the one that's above, because this is a part of who we are. between this one and the top one i'd say that's most of the time.

3. Master/Mistress:

this is only during a really fun scene or if i've missed class....again....

 

[Justina123]

1. The Man/Woman: A Dominant just being themselves. Reading the paper, watching tv, playing board games, laughing, joking, living life. Dominants need to be comfortable just being Themselves. Being Yourself fulfills a submissive’s needs for Friend, Spouse, Partner, Lover, Parent, and so many other qualities often associated with being “vanilla”. Being comfortable being Yourself makes You, You. It is stressless. For both of Y/you.

Since my Dominant lives with me on the weekends, and I have several children, we are in this role a lot, maybe 60%.

2. Sir/Ma’am: In this phase the Dominant is Teacher, Guide, Decision Maker, and many of the other roles that require a clear distinction between the Dominant and submissive roles.

20%.

3. Master/Mistress: The firm role. The Disciplinarian and most common role for scening and sexual pleasures.

20%.

One of the exciting parts of our relationship is I often don't know when we will switch from one of these above roles to the other. I know that at night, when the kids are in bed, we will be in 2 or 3. But during the day I get immediate shivers when he gets that glint in his eye and switches to Master mode and locks the bedroom door..... Or when in the car and he switches mood..... Or when we're at a "vanilla" event, like my office Christmas party, and I can see him switching mental modes internally and putting on a look that means it's time to go....

justina