The "thought-clouding" intoxication of Romance?

[Sparky Kronkite]

Intoxicating, inebriating, mind-numbing, thought-clouding, illogical - romance.

Why do women fall prey to this much more often than men?

If this "stream of emotion" does not happen to you - if you don't feel this about a potential Significant other - would you right the person off?

Is it possible to pursue a potential significant other and not feel any of the above? Keeping the whole thing in a sort of relative reality and logical place?

And if so - might one argue that - that would not be a "quality love?" That it would be less than so.

Do ya have ta feel butterflies in yer stomach to fall in love?

 

[jcgirl]

I still feel butterflies. Maybe men just dont recognize it or even admit to it?

 

[KillerMuffin]

Simple. When women fuck they do it emotionally. Men just fuck to get off.

They can do it with the full spectrum of emotion as well, they just don't always do it. Like they pick up coyote ugly Saturday night, they aren't wondering if she's The One the next day.

 

[riff]

"Love is blind"

I have had more than one woman sprout hair and grow fangs on me. I asked my friends: "Well, GOddAMn! Why didn't you warn me?" Invariably they told me, "You wouldn't have listened."

They were right.

 

[Countess DeWinter]

Maybe I'm not a woman?

I don't have to have butterflies. Actually, they get in the way of more sound logical thinking. I love my husband, but it's a decision I made 8 years ago, not a fleeting feeling I may or may not feel tomorrow. The tender feelings developed out of that.

When I fuck, I do so to get off. My emotions operate on a different system. Maybe, somewhere along the line, the connector between my pussy and my brain got severed?

 

[TonyG]

Originally posted by Countess DeWinter
Maybe I'm not a woman?

WRONG!

Originally posted by Countess DeWinter
...When I fuck, I do so to get off. My emotions operate on a different system. Maybe, somewhere along the line, the connector between my pussy and my brain got severed?

No, you are rare in that you can separate emotion and function to enjoy them both in different ways. I think more of this is needed in today's society to help us keep our sanity. When both your emotion and function come together at the same time, that will be one lucky man.

 

[CreamyLady]

Butterflies? Not all the time.

There are women who actually prefer a cooler, logical union. No great highs, but no horrible lows, either; rather like being on Prozac.

I, personally, have to honestly like someone before I can love them, and I do like that fluttery feeling. However, it doesn't last forever, and it's better that there's something a little more solid underneath it all.

Are you telling me that men don't feel it?

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Men do feel it.....

Just not as much or as often.

 

[TN_Vixen]

butterflies?

yes. Yes yes yes. Butterflies are necessary for love with me. I'm not talking about the silly infatuation butterflies, I'm talking about the "i'm so in love with you I think you're wonderful I can't talk and my palms are sweaty and every time you call my heart jumps in my chest and beats so loud I think I'll vomit" kind of butterflies.

It happens.. mostly at first and then it fades. But I believe that deep love does affect all of our senses and abilities to the point of embarassment. Butterflies will always be welcome in my heart.

 

[Never]

I don't really know what you're talking about..

 

[SeXy ReDHeD]

Truth be told, I'm not much into romance. To me, sex and love have their own, separate places in my life--they serve two different purposes; sex is a biological function, while love is more emotional.

I think most women feel this way but lie to themselves, telling themselves that they're not bad for liking the sex because they really do love the guy. Then they get wrapped up in the lie... and hurt not because the guy doesn't love them but because they know they're selling themselves out by lying... all so they don't have to feel like whores for liking sex.

The only other reason I can think of for mixing love and sex would be loneliness... I've fallen victim to this. Usually, though, both parties contribute to this... both are needy and find solace in each other.

Geez. I'm bumming myself out here...

 

[Juspar Emvan]

Simple. When women fuck they do it emotionally. Men just fuck to get off.

If I may be so presumptuous . . . Bull Fucking Shit, in a nice way of course KM, I respect you.

That quote is so full of erroneous generalisations it's a wonder it doesn't self destruct on my screen.

Women don't always fuck emotionally and men can do so and regularly do. I love sex for sex but I also respect it as a means of demonstration of deep feelings. Besides on occasion I fuck and don't get off, or need to.

As far as logical love, it is a must, other wise the relationship falls apart at the first low, and there are always lows. With a foundation of reasoned decisions the relationship is sustainable, the amount of emotion determines the amplitude of the peaks and troughs and not the hardiness.

The best thing, if you can achieve it, is openness about your agenda.

 

[Kasha]

When my husband i first got together I just got that friend vibe. Like, when I saw him I was happy and excited just to get to talk to him. I loved his mind before his body. I have had sex and not really been into the person but with him it was sooooooo different. My mind was making love to. After we had become friends..although I know it's a cliche, then I got the butterflies becasue I knew he was the one because I felt him in my heart. I have never felt someone down to my soul. I can't imagine being with someone and not having that feeling. Something was always missing.. until I found in him what my heart, soul and mind had been seeking... I hope that makes sense.

 

[Closet Desire]

What makes you think...

...men's behaviour is "rational" or "logical"? How do you don't know it's not just men's "emotions" ruling the day and men choosing to call it logic? I haven't seen any evidence to suggest men are rational.

Any comments Spock?

"It's intelligence Jim but not as we know it."

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Of course everyone, male and female......

have emotions - if they are human.

I don't know if I've said it here on this thread or not, but here goes again......

Negative emotions - regardless of sex type - regardless of how natural or ingrained they may be - are still negative emotions - they cause damage, pain, etc..

They are wrong - bad. Just because something may be intertwined within your/our being - doesn't mean that it's good - or even fully understandable.

One should take it for it's simple face value - a negative human attribute - a flaw.

But most humans don't want to admit that they are flawed.

Thus - recognizing that it's a flaw is good - even better is controlling it. Controlling the innate human emotions like jealousy, hate etc., can only be a good thing for the entire planet. Writing negative emotions off as "natural" and letting them "vent" for selfish personal reasons can only cause problems - even wars.

So I say - practice all the good human emotions and negate altogether or highly control the negative ones.

It's pure logic and males just happen to have the edge in the control department - you see that degree of control is innate to each sex.

Spock has spoken - live long and prosper.

 

[Jake2001]

Pretty general, isn't it?

Simple. When women fuck they do it emotionally. Men just fuck to get off.

They can do it with the full spectrum of emotion as well, they just don't always do it. Like they pick up coyote ugly Saturday night, they aren't wondering if she's The One the next day.

With me, it takes two beers, a kiss, and a promise not to tell!

 

[Stormy]

butterflies......

.....I've had butterflies before, actually, here recently. But, I tend to be much more evasive of feelings than most women.....or at least this is what I've been told. If I feel that deeply about someone, they'll still never know it.

I have loved and lost and my pride was hurt more than my heart. Never again! Or at least never will it be known.

 

[Beebeeblue]

Love is:

Talking, sharing, trust, honesty.
Giving 100 percent and expecting 10.
The feeling that the missing part of your life is there.


You don't have to have buttterflies...
Just the feeling that above all the rain, he(or she) is your sun.

 

[brazenblaze]

Is it possible to pursue a potential significant other and not feel any of the above? Keeping the whole thing in a sort of relative reality and logical place?

And if so - might one argue that - that would not be a "quality love?" That it would be less than so.

Do ya have ta feel butterflies in yer stomach to fall in love?

Ahhhhh! The perfect way to return after my "welcome hubby home break"

I never had the "butterflies" until 5 days ago!

Hubby and I eased into love and neither of us could to this day tell you the how and why. We went from an affair based on sex and sex only, then friendship and then one day we just woke up and realized that to be without each other would be hell. Hence, his divorce and our marriage 7 years ago. So, YES it is possible to pursue love with out butterflies.

But Thursday night as I stood behind my car waiting for him to get off that bus from the airport, my hands were shaking and I had butterflies in my stomach. When he stepped off that bus and I got my first look at him after 6 months, my knees went weak. It wasn't about sex either, I realized (more than ever before) that I really love this man. To quote a bad movie, "He completes me"

We've been together 8 years and married 7 years, and that moment was the most intense emotional moment we've shared. We have always been the best of friends, and totally sexually compatible and the love has always been there (maybe a little more subtle). I've always been the less "romantic" of the two of us, but now the emotion is completely unguarded and the freedom that we both have shared in our relationship these last five days surpasses anything and everything I have ever expierenced before.

If I have to chose I'll chose this emotional, physical meeting of the souls over anything else any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Oh yes...give me the butterflies any day.