The Spectator

[Beach Boy]

Walking down the bustling city street he watched men buying flowers for their sweethearts, groups of people walking by talking excitedly on their way to the latest movie or play, friends lounging together in cafe's, and men walking by with their sweethearts in their arms. All of his life he'd felt like a spectator. He never really felt a part of it.

He gingerly felt the deep scar on his head. Almost twenty years had passed since the accident that had changed his life. He had been showing off to the little red headed girl when he'd slipped off of the top of the jungle gym. The rock should have never been there. Obviously the landscapers had been sloppy when they'd prepared the area around the playground equipment. Instead of landing in the sawdust piled thickly around the jungle gym he'd landed head first on the jagged end of the large rock. His mom had been very upset at first, then she had been relieved when the doctor had told her that the only injury was a large gash on his head. "You were very lucky that you didn't get seriously hurt." She'd told him. But she was wrong, the wound was serious. It damaged a part of his brain, or at least changed it.

People weren't always what you wanted them to be. There was so much selfishness, meanness, and cruelty in the world. And fear. So much fear!

He was a good student. Actually an excellent student and he'd gone on to college where he'd gotten a degree in architecture. But he never seemed to have many friends. He just didn't feel part of it. It was like he was a spectator. For a short period he had a beautiful girlfriend but she had been hurt and used by people in the past and she didn't really like anyone. She didn't like him, she just liked to be seen with a tall well built good looking guy she could show off to her friends and feel safe with. She'd felt he could protect her against anything. She left him for a jerk working on a law degree.

In a little bit the girl with the long brown hair would be stopping to get a cup of coffee at the Starbucks and if he timed it right he could be there too. Maybe today he would get up his nerve and talk to her.

"Stop it! Stop it! Leave me alone!" The cries came from a alley behind some buildings. Too far away for the average person to hear, but he heard. Picking up his pace he headed in the direction of the cries. Broken bottles and garbage lay strewn about and the old brick buildings were no more than ten feet apart.

He counted six, maybe eight figures at the end of a dark windowless alley. She was struggling with two on the ground when one gave a vicious kick to her head. He walked quietly in their direction. He felt anger rising in him as he experienced a wave of her pain and fear.

"What the fuck!" One of the figures noticed him. "What the fuckin' hell do you fuckin' want! You fuckin' dumbshit!"

The others let go of the girl and turned to face him. Knives and small guns were drawn, but he continued walking towards them. He could sense their fear. And for a second he felt a little nauseous. These scared angry little people were on a control trip. They could clearly see that he was unarmed but they could sense that something wasn't right.

"Fu-cker!" The gun popped several times as the one closest to him rushed his direction. Ordinarily he would have dodged it but he was a little shaken by the situation and one bullet actually grazed his shoulder. His foot caught the attackers groin so solidly that it actually lifted him off of the ground. The attackers eyes were filled with fear, disbelief, and pain as he collapsed on the ground. Then the boot came down on his neck breaking it in a single stroke.

Pop pop pop

The gun was out of his hand before the hooded attacker knew what had happened. Fear clouded his mind as he felt his head seemingly torn off of his body. The others tried to fight back but their knives were even less effective than the guns had been.

"Are you okay?" He asked the girl with compassion but all he sensed was fear, horror at what she'd just seen him do.

"Why?" She asked wiping the blood off of her swollen lip "Why did you have to kill them?"

"I felt what you did."

The girl stood up slowly looking at the dead bodies around her "Get away from me you psycho!" she sobbed, stumbling away in a state of confusion and horror.

He didn't follow. If she could get far enough away from him he wouldn't feel her thoughts any longer. And he didn't want to. He looked at his watch. It was too late. He sensed that the girl with the long brown hair was leaving the Starbucks and he sensed that she'd missed him as well.

He'd never believed in soulmates until he'd seen her. She wasn't like anybody else and the connection he'd sensed with her was almost too much for him at first. He knew she sensed it too. They'd never spoken but the connection was there nonetheless. He'd become this way as the result of an accident. She'd been born this way. He'd only had to deal with this the last twenty years of his life. For her she'd never known anything different. She needed him, she starved for him. And he needed her more than anything else in life.

 

[Beach Boy]

.....

 

[CollegeCutie]

Natalie Giordani

Natalie paused a moment on the street corner just outside of the Starbucks. She stopped here almost everyday on her way home from the park where she made her sketches. That had become her daily routine: wake up, have breakfast, paint, go to the park, grab some lunch from a street vendor, get a few more sketches in, pick up some coffee on the way home, more painting, dinner and maybe a movie or reading afterwards, then bed. She was an artist and that was her life. She always managed to sell enough of her work in local galleries to get by.

He hadn't come. She couldn't help but be a little disappointed. She knew it was silly of her to think that way. After all, they had never even talked. Yet the connection between them was undeniable, like they were two halves of the same coin. She had never met anyone like herself before. He wasn't exactly like her either. Something had made him this way, she could sense it. Falling. Pain.

Natalie had been born with it. What "it" was exactly she didn't really know. Some called her a psychic, some said she was an empath, but none of the labels people gave her were exactly right. Her mother had known right away that there was something "different" about Natalie. For starters, there were her eyes. Natalie had been born with blue eyes despite the fact that both of her parents were brown eyed and of Italian decent. At first this didn't come as anything strange at all. Lots of babies are born with blue eyes, but as they get older they change to their permanent color. Except that Natalie's eyes never changed, they remained the same piercing blue.

And there were other things too. Her family had to change what kinds of movies they watched. Whenever a sad or scary scene would come on the sounds of her cries would suddenly be heard on the baby monitor. When she got older they noticed that she always seemed to know without looking who was at the front door. Nothing could be kept secret from her, she seemed to hear every conversation that took place. She tried to tell people, especially her mother, about what she heard, sensed, saw...they always just blew it off as a child's imagination. But by the time she was in Jr. High and nothing had changed people began to worry. Kids in class would tease her. So she just stopped talking about it.

Taking a final glance down the street Natalie decided she better get going. It was getting pretty dark, and she still needed to stop by the cathedral on her way home. Fishing her Ipod out of her pocket she turned up the volume and began to listen to a bit of Carmina Burana as she walked. Focusing on the music helped her to block out other "distractions", a trick she had discovered as a teenager.

Like most children growing up in a traditional Italian home Natalie had been raised Catholic, and like a lot of them she wasn't sure if she believed in any of it, but of course she continued to go anyways.

Before entering the large stone building she turned off her Ipod and placed it back in her coat pocket. Pulling open the heavy wood door she was immediately greeted by the familiar smell of burning incense. The light of a hundred tiny candles placed in containers of red glass lined the front alter. A few people littered the pews, their heads bowed in prayer. Feelings of grief, piety, and boredom washed over her. The last coming from a young boy sitting next to his mother. She made her way to the confessional and stepped inside, making the sign of the cross over herself as she knelt down.

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last confession..."


**looks wise I picture her as a young Monica Bellucci but with blue eyes instead of brown**

 

[CollegeCutie]

*bump*

 

[Beach Boy]

"Yes..yes.." he replied.

"I don't know how to describe it to you." his client said over the phone.

"I'll tell you what, I think I might know what sort of house you're interested in" he reassured his client. "I'll bring some pictures."

I can bring pictures of the actual house he's thinking of, he smiled to himself. Then for a second his mind moved to the brown haired girl kneeling at a pew in a large Catholic Cathedral praying.

He walked into the stadium slowly soaking up the atmosphere of the place. He loved the Universities grand stadium. The place seemed to energize him. He loved going to football games when he was in college. He'd never played sports much himself...

"Abraham, what are they doing?" he asked.

The old man with the dark wrinkled skin looked down at the boy with soft eyes. "They're practicing".

In a basketball court a little ways from the park bench, where he and Abraham sat, a group of kids in their early teens were taking turns shooting baskets from different parts of the court.

Abraham noticed the puzzlement in the little boys eyes and attempted to explain it better. "They're teaching their muscles... Or maybe you'd say that they're teaching their brains to remember certain patterns... and form habits."

"Their brains?"

"Yes the brain controls the body."

"My mom says that I used to have some bad habits.." The little boy looked down at the ground.

"And you changed them?" Abraham encouraged.

"Yes.."

"They say it takes three weeks to change a habit."

"I think I change much faster.." The little boy said watching the kids playing basketball.


"David!" Bob Green the football coach called over to him. "Where have you been."

"I've been around" David grinned "I just thought I'd come over and run a couple laps. What have you been up to?"

"Recruiting some promising new players. In fact I've got to go talk to one now. But David give me a call sometime. Don't be a stranger." Bob smiled at David and headed out of the stadium.

David performed a couple of stretches, readjusted his sweats, and took off at a comfortable pace.

He'd never played football. Sports really weren't for him. All the emotions and tensions he'd pick up on. At first they practically overwhelmed him until he learned to focus. But he found that he'd quickly become too good for it to be much of a challenge. And without the challenge to overcome where was the fun? But sports were fun to watch. He'd attended all of the home football games.

David finished the third lap and felt his breathing increase slightly. In a moment his body would adjust and he'd be even stronger than when he began. He picked up the pace going into a sprint. Tomorrow he was going to have to time things right to meet the brown haired girl.

 

[CollegeCutie]

Natalie was sitting in her loft appartment working on her latest painting when suddenly her heart began to beat faster and her breathing rate increased. As she began to slowly put down her brush an image of the man running on a track somewhere suddenly filled her mind.
It was gone as quickly as it had come and she resumed painting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking towards Starbucks the next day, Natalie found herself to be in an excellent mood. The weather had been good today and she had been able to add some really good sketches to her pad. On top of that she had decided to bring a book with her today to read at the coffee shop. Usually she just bought her coffee and leaft but today she was determined not to leave without at least saying hello to him.

 

[Beach Boy]

"Yes, they call that a Cape Cod style." David explained over his cellphone as he hurried down the sidewalk. "I'll see you at eleven.. okay?".

The walk sign was still green but flashing now. "Oops.. sorry" He said apologetically after almost poked an old lady in the head with the roll of plans he had tucked under his arm. No harm done, she nodded. You remind me of one of my sons.

Jerk! You should watch what you're doing. A man in a sports coat shot him an angry look.

Stepping up on the other sidewalk David slowed to a more comfortable speed.

Twenty cents a pound. That's a good deal! A middle aged women was selecting apples from a display in front of a small store.

A blonde haired girl, sitting at a small flower stand, held up some flowers for him to see. Buy some for your girl?

"No thanks." David smiled pleasantly.

Tightwad! Probably a homosexual....

David turned back to the girl. "On second thought maybe I will buy some flowers.."

David got ten long stem red roses. He wasn't exactly sure what occasion they were suited for. Oh well.. I'll just tuck them under the plans and she'll never notice.

She'd just entered the Starbucks and if he hurried he could catch her.

What am I doing with these flowers? But I can't just throw them away.. considering what they cost. I'm going to look like an idiot..

You bought me flowers!?

Umm...yeah..I guess I did.. David glimpsed her ordering coffee with an amused look on her face. Taking a deep breath he rounded the corner and headed for the Starbucks sign down the street.

Red roses! For me? Wow!

David stopped and slipped the flowers under the plans. God this was going to be ackward!


Relax..

"I'm trying to.." David mumbled outloud.

Even the tables outside the Starbucks were filled.. A jumble of conversations and thoughts buzzed through Davids head as he entered. His heart started beating fast. He could see her seated at a small table in the corner by herself gazing out the window. She didn't notice me?

Sure I did.

May I sit with you?

Of course, silly!

David ordered a simple cup of coffee, took a slow breath, tried to still the jitters, and slowly headed in her direction, balancing the plans and roses in one hand, and the coffee in the other.

WHAT THE HELL! A bearded man in a suit seated at a table close to the brown haired girl looked at him intently then began standing up slowly. HEY CREEP! I SAW HER FIRST!

David stopped, the man had a small gun under his coat. But he wasn't going to do anything crazy? Good grief! David took another careful step.

The bearded man moved toward David "Hey, hey watch where you're going!" He slammed into David roughly knocking David's coffee out of his hand. It splashed on his plans and broke open on the floor.

The brown haired girl whipped her head around and looked straight at David.

"Grow up!" The bearded man shook his head. The coffee shop had grown quiet and all eyes were on them. "Relax.. I'm a psychiatrist." The bearded man said then turned to David "Now you just calm down! Let them clean it up. You can go back and get another cup."

Oh god, give me a break.. David could feel the fear in the man. If the ass was going to play him off as crazy maybe he should give the coffee shop a show.

"No!" The brown haired girl gave him an emphatic penetrating look "Don't!"

HONNNNK HONNNNK HONNNNK! A car alarm suddenly sounded outside.

"What the hell?" The bearded man turned and looked outside. The car alarm seemed to be coming from a red Jaguar, parked in front. "You leave her alone!" He glared at David then headed outside.

"Thank you..." David whispered. How did you do that?

The brown haired girl just grinned slightly and shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm David, what's your name?" David extended his hand.

"Natalie"

"These are for you." David felt himself blushing.

Leave her alone asshole! A man who looked like a construction worker glared at him.

Weirdo.. An older lady gave him a disapproving look.

"They're beautiful!" Natalie smiled broadly, her deep blue eyes sparkled.

 

[CollegeCutie]

"It's nice to finally meet you David."

He was so tense. She had sensed it when he was still a blocks away, and now that he was standing right next to her it seemed to radiate off of him like heat. She smelled one of the roses and tried her best to send her own calm vibes his way.

Must be a blind date. The girl working the register was watching them.

The Starbucks was especially crowded today, and it looked as if they had the attention of everyone in the shop. Natalie wasn't a big fan of being the center of attention, it brought back bad memories of her childhood before she had learned to hide her abilities.

You want to get out of here? Somewhere a little less...distracting?

Any suggestions?

My place? It's only a couple of blocks away.

She hoped he didn't take the invitation the wrong way.

 

[Beach Boy]

"Sure.." David said nervously outloud.

Relax it was no big deal..

"Sorry." David apologized suddenly as they walked out outside. He was relieved to see that the red Jaguar, and the con-man, were gone.

Natalie smiled at him reassuringly It's okay you didn't see it coming. You know what they say, "Turn the other cheek".

But honestly he hadn't turned the other cheek. He could have easily dodged the man and avoided the incident. No, deep down he wanted the man to ram him. He wanted Natalie to see that the guy was a jerk. Deep down he was worried that Natalie might choose the bearded man over him. And he really hadn't seen it coming. It hadn't even dawned on him that the man could turn it around on him like that...

"Relax." Natalie said outloud. "We all make mistakes. But I like the flowers. Red roses are very romantic!"

"Thank you." David relaxed a little and grinned.

 

[CollegeCutie]

Natalie returned the grin. He has a cute smile.

Thank you.

A slight blush slowly spread across her cheeks. She was used to being able to sense others thoughts, not the other way around. Now it was her turn to feel embarrassed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Just as she had promised, her loft was only a short walk away and the two where soon standing at her door. Pulling out the key from her bag, Natalie unlocked the door and walked inside, motioning for David to follow.

"Make yourself at home, I'm just going to go put these in water real quick." she said, dropping her stuff next to the couch and heading towards the kitchen with the roses.

 

[Beach Boy]

David

Vibrant paintings of people and landscapes decorated Natalie's loft. On an easel in the corner there was a new painting that Natalie had just begun, but the apartment was spotlessly neat.

Oh no... She'll think I'm a slob...

Maybe you just need a little motivation?

Natalie noticed the suprised look on David's face.

"I suppose there won't be any secrets between us." Natalie laughed setting the flowers down on the table. A hug would feel good..

David found himself moving closer to Natalie, his arms reaching -- her arms reaching. The embrace was warmer and more intimate than anything he could have imagined. Their thought intermingled and become as one. Their bodies seemingly melted together. Their senses reacted fully. He'd never felt so alive!

 

[CollegeCutie]

Natalie's breath caught in her chest. She had not been expecting something so intense!

Oh my God..

She didn't even know which one of them had thought it. It was hard to tell where his thoughts ended and hers began. For a moment they almost seemed to become one person. She could almost swear that she felt their hearts beating in unison.

"David" She spoke his name, her voice barely a whisper.

Slowly she brought one hand up to softly caress his cheek. Her sparkling eyes looked up to gaze into his own.

 

[Beach Boy]

"Oh David.."

There was an element of sadness in Natalie's eyes. As the images, thoughts, and emotions flashed through her head she wrapped her arms further around David and clutched at him.

It just got so that I couldn't look the other way..

"No.."

"I have to." David whispered. The image of the bank robbers surrounding the inside of the bank flooded both his mind and Natalie's. It was going to go down badly, he could sense it, she could sense it.

Natalie relaxed her grip on David. Their lips touched softly for an incredible moment then David reluctantly pulled away and headed for the door at a fast walk. The door swung open.

How did you do that?

I'm coming along..

Okay. David hustled down the stairs, Natalie along side of him.

In a blur they crossed the street through the traffic.

The bank stood in front of them.

 

[CollegeCutie]

She hadn't wanted him to go, but if he was going to anyways there was no way she was just going to sit in her apartment when she knew she could help him.

Infront of them stood an large and impressive looking structure, its gilded sign glimmering in the late afternoon sun. Natalie didn't have to look inside to know what was going on.

Five armed men with black ski masks concealing their faces had everyone else cowering in fear. They had already taken out the security cameras and alarm system. The police weren't coming. The two security guards where collapsed on the floor in a pool of their own blood. One was already dead, the other lay still and prayed to God that the robbers wouldn't notice he was still breathing. Pain, fear, and desperation radiated from the place.

 

[Beach Boy]

"The doors are locked.." An old lady informed them. "The bank must be closed."

The mirrored bank windows prevented people on the street from seeing into the bank.

In his minds eye David was able to discern a masked man guarding the front door with an Uzi. Two more masked men were rounding up people in a corner of the bank.

"Two are in the vault." Natalie whispered.

 

[CollegeCutie]

That security guard needs a doctor. He's going to die soon if he doesn't get some help. Natalie thought to herself.

She could feel the growing tension of the armed man guarding the door and suddenly realized she had been staring.

He sees us.

I know.

What should we do?

I've got an idea. Just play along.

Quickly taking David's hand, Natalie pulled him with her as she ducked behind a column near the bank's entrance. Then wrapping her arms around his neck in a playful gesture she lifted herself up on her toes and proceeded to kiss him. To any onlooker they would just seem like a couple of sweethearts stealing a moment to themselves.

 

[Beach Boy]

Despite the circumstances the kiss with Natalie was very gratifying. David found himself intensely connected to this wonderful sweet girl through a simple tender kiss.

You feel so good.. You are the sweetest girl I've ever met

You're a sweet guy. And you feel so strong!

I respond quickly.

I've noticed..

Um..uh.. anyway... you were going to create a distraction... How do you do that? And what should we do about the security guard. We've got to do something fast!

 

[CollegeCutie]

Natalie knew one of the women inside had a cell phone on her. She could hear the lady debating with herself on if she should try and use it to call the cops or not, but in the end Natalie knew the woman was to scared to risk it. If they could just get rid of the robbers though, or at least their guns...

Get ready..

Suddenly the speakers inside the bank which had been playing soft elevator type music turned to the local college's radio station and started blasting the music of a loud indie rock band.

"What the fuck is going on?!" yelled the armed man watching the front door. He turned toward the commotion and Natalie saw their chance.

Click. The latch of the front door lifted.

Now!!

 

[Beach Boy]

In the blink of an eye David rushed across the mezzanine. One hand went around the armed mans head, muffling his mouth and the other grabbed at the gun.

WHOMP WHOMP

Two muffled shots went into the ceiling, as David pulled the silenced uzi out of the mans hand.

No, don't kill him!

But David was moving so fast he was operating on instinct and the mans neck snapped in his hands before he even heard Natalie's thoughts. Intense guilt flooded his mind. He could feel his knees growing weak... and beginning to buckle under him.

Natalie!!!

The eyes of the security guard, lying on the mezzanine floor, met Davids and watched in confusion as David, and the listless man in his arms, fell to the floor.

Oh God.. Please get back up.. Please help us!

"What the fuck was that!" A voice yelled from inside the bank.

David could hear footsteps approaching loud and fast.

Clunk! A door slammed inside the bank.

What the fuck? The footsteps stopped... then took off in the opposite direction.

Beep.. The women's finger hit a single key on the phone and speed-dialed 911. "I'm in the Fremont Bank..." she whispered into the phone

 

[CollegeCutie]

Natalie was collapsed and crying just outside the bank door.

Pull yourself together before you get David killed! she told herself.

She pulled herself off of the ground where she had fallen and hurried inside to kneel next to David.

Clunk! Clunk! More doors slammed themselves inside the bank.

Come on, we have to get out of here! The police are on the way, they'll be able to handle it from here on out.

 

[Beach Boy]

David's head was spinning, different thoughts colliding. One moment he seemed to be tuned into the thoughts of one person, and actually viewing the scene through their eyes and then the next his brain flashed to another.. He seemed to zoom in on a door and with strange almost nightmarish effort the door opened... and then slammed shut!

Come on, we have to get out of here! The police are on the way, they'll be able to handle it from here on out.

The image of a masked man inside the bank flashed into his mind. Out of the corner of the masked mans eye, he saw the women on the cellphone. Gripping his gun tightly he began to turn...

Wait David! I'll create another distraction! WAIT!

It reminded him of a dream where he wanted to run but couldn't. Summoning his strength David focused.

David... David.. Dav...

Carefully rising to his knees he studied the scene intently.

Natalie understood his reasons for using force -- for killing. She knew the story, she knew what had happened, yet she still allowed herself to feel compassion.... for the criminals! It wasn't that David didn't feel compassion for others.. he just didn't let it prevent him from handling the situation. He had learned to focus. And now he had focused Natalie's thoughts out of his mind.

Whomp

The shot grazed the womens shoulder a slit second before David had ahold of the gun. He caught the mans head with the butt of the gun knocking him unconscious.

That's better, Natalie's thoughts re-entered his mind. The sound of a drawer slamming shut came from within the vault. I did that! Natalie reassured

I know..

"What just happened in there?" A mans voice came from the cellphone.

"Somebody just jumped one of the robbers.... He made the robber fire his gun and he almost got me shot! Wait... I recognize him... He was in Starbucks this morning... He's crazy... I don't remember seeing him in the bank earlier... Maybe he's with the robbers?

"Oh great..." the voice came from the cellphone again. "Hang in there, we'll be there in a couple minutes."

Come on David, we have to get out of here! NOW!!

 

[CollegeCutie]

Come on David, we have to get out of here! NOW!!

Not giving him time to respond, Natalie took Daniel's hand and ran from the building.

If we can just get back to the apartment before the police get here we should be alright, but we can't go in through the main entrance.. they might be able to see from the bank. We have to throw them off... THE ALLEY! There's a back door facing the alley!

She took a sudden sharp turn in the opposite direction, still dragging David behind her.

 

[Beach Boy]

Come on David! Why are you resisting me?

A blurred image of the inside of the bank flashed into Davids mind. He sensed the rage and anger the masked man was feeling as he regained consiousness.

DAVID!

The image disappeared and in it's place he felt the warmth and compassion of Natalie.

Click The door unlocked from inside.

We've got to keep moving Natalie encouraged.

Outside the building the Sheriff turned on his flashing lights, parked his car in the middle of the street, put on swat helmet, and checked his gun. The other officers were arriving and the sharp shooters would be showing up any minute.

"What's going on?" A women asked the Sheriff.

"You need to get out of here! There's a bank robbery in progress."

"I just saw a man and women come out of the bank."

"Can you describe them?"

"No,I didn't get a good look at them. But I think they went up that alley."



Natalie pulled some keys out of her pocket and unlocked her door.

David... You need to stop shutting people out.

"Why don't we talk out loud!"

"David... it wasn't your fault."

"I loved her..."

Tears streamed down Davids face. "I could have stopped him.. But I...I.."

You let the police handle it and he went to jail.

"TALK OUT LOUD, GOD DAMNIT!!!"

"David.."

"He killed her when he got out."

Natalie wrapped her arms around David and pulled him close.

 

[CollegeCutie]

Natalie knew how much the memory hurt David. She could feel it too as she held him. The pain of it caused a few tears to roll down her own cheeks as well.

"David... it wasn't your fault." she repeated softly, "You did the right thing. If you had killed that man it would have made you no better than him. No one has the right to take the life of another person, no matter how horrible that person may be... You're not God."

Her tone was soothing as she spoke, and one of her hands gently caressed the length of his back in an attempt to calm him.

"You can't blame yourself.."

 

[Beach Boy]

Yeah I can. I knew what was going to happen, and I had the ability to do something about it.

But you don't have to assume responsibility for everybody. Let god do that. You can live your own life. It's not wrong to enjoy your own life. And be part of the world! Not just a disconnected observer... or a spectator.

Tears streaked Davids cheeks. "I can't let go.."

Visions of the police lining up behind their cars and sharp shooters, with guns, rushing into position on the roof, filled his mind.

I see the same things that you do, but I don't try and fix everything..

But it hurts you all the same.

"Yeah it hurts, but I don't disconnect myself from the world. Look at my paintings. There's a lot of good and beauty in the world."