the sky is falling

lightlid

Virgin
Joined
Jun 2, 2003
Posts
6
you are my muse,
you feed me ideas and thoughts to use,
i'll try not to misuse what you give me,
i'll try not to abuse the feelings you create within me,
i know with your help, what i write will go down in history,

you are my song,
only with you do i belong,
i'll try not to say things wrong,
but when i do,
remember that i love you,
and what we have is true,

when we are together,
i hope it lasts forever,
when i see you,
i can think of no other,
we can never be apart,
because that would tear me apart,
what we have is more beautiful than any art,
paintings and poems will never compare,
to the love that we share.
 
spinnin' round

.....I am missing the places
you like to be tickled
better
the places you don't --Palau, Brain Damaged
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good morning everyone :) ok, I tried the spinner and I got lucky...found this one by Palau...gee, wish someone missed ME like that!!!

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Cool poem dude! I'm not much good at critiquing things but nevertheless I'll say something. I loved the last two verses of your poem but the first one doesn't seem to fit with the others. It seems forced so to speak and just doesn't really flow as well as the rest, but that's just me :D Keep writing!
 
i know omaha, the flow in it sucks. when i was writing it i wasn't sure if i should make them separate poems or not. but i do like some of the lines, but overall it doesn't fit together.
 
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