The Shy Exhibitionist

[Shankara20]

Discussions about body image issues have been surfacing in several threads of late. The more recent I am aware of is in my Sneak-a-peek thread. This question was posted

“In other words, what makes someone able to show their body in semi public and someone else not able to?

Any ideas?

I sometimes get mad at myself for being so freakin' shy. This means I do less and I like to do things. I just can't seem to get past the showing flesh thing, being in semi-public thing.”

I responded with “That is a big question and I will have to give it some thought. My first response is to say that I have body image issues. You might have noticed that I crop most of my pics to hide my tummy, I'm not real wild about my ass for that matter and that chunk out of my left leg bothers me as well.

I think for me my exhibitionism has a lot to do with deep seated shame about my sexuality. There is a part of me yearning for acceptance and if people will tolerate seeing my sexuality it must be OK. I also crave attention and do enjoy a bit of the thrill of shocking someone. Doing all the above without a viewers consent is something I will not do, so this place helps me cover all those things, as did the sex clubs in San Francisco when I lived there.

I expect it is different for others...”

Later I felt that as much as what I stated is true there were some missing parts of what feeds my exhibitionism - I never outgrew “show & tell” and there is some silly pride about showing off my dick. I know that a little less that half the people in the world have dicks so “it ain’t no big thing” but I do think mine is special.

I post many pics of perfect bodies frankly because it is very easy to find them. I want more pics of real people with their real bodies because I find all bodies sensual.

Do you have any body image issues? How do you feel at play parties, the beach, spas and other places that allow for exposing all your bits?

 

[jadefirefly]

Ah. Here's my home.

I hate showing myself... I have been working on that. I recently snapped and shared a semi-graphic photo of myself. It was one of the hardest things I've done in a long time.

I don't like my appearance. I avoid wearing anything too revealing, most of the time. I haven't worn a pair of shorts, for example, since I was 15. Have I mentioned I live in a desert?

But at the same time, I don't mind wearing skimpier tops. I'm becoming more willing to show off at least my top half. And I still don't really understand why this is, because I don't like my top half any more than I like my bottom half.

I'm not sure. I think I wouldn't be here (on these forums, not just this thread) if I wasn't willing to expose myself somewhat. Maybe it's because I'm trying to get over this shyness, or maybe it's just because I like that feeling of embarrassment. I'm not really sure yet. But I'm sure eventually I'll figure it out.

 

[CutieMouse]

Do you have any body image issues? How do you feel at play parties, the beach, spas and other places that allow for exposing all your bits?

The only exhibitionistic thing I can think of with regards to myself, is that I like to dress well... I don't believe I've ever "exposed my bits" outside of being with a Lover or giving birth.

As for body issues- they aren't as bad as they once were, but still pop up, especially if I'm stressed or unhappy. I'm currently 10-15# heavier than I'd like to be, and can tell it's beginning to impact how I view myself.

I recognize I have a lovely body for a woman who has had five children, but I still have the body of a woman who has had five children. It's also been almost three years since I last had a Lover; I suspect *if* I ever enter a relationship again, those first few moments of being disrobed will not be without their fair share of anxiety.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I am not an exhibitionist by any stretch, BUT since I have found My place in this lifestyle I have been comfortable in My own skin, which is something I could never say before.

I have always had issues about My weight, and yes I am a guy. But, since I have discovered this lifestyle I have as i said just become much more comfortable with Me.

 

[raven_wish]

Quoting my self:
i feel i am in the same boat in situations where me and mine take in a third, and i doubt you'd call that semi public. like shakara, i am not too crazy about my butt and try to stay out of postions where it is oh so much on display (not when its just the 2 of us though) and it sux cuz it keeps me out of nice spots like being on all fours and such. I totally get mad at myself for being 'so freakin shy' as you said.

-ok so yeah i just copy/pasted my thoughts on the subject and moved em here..i am a bit lazy..but i hear ya...and i guess when i think of it there are plenty of other times i make sure 'to arrange myself' in flattering positions; such as naughty pic/home movie taking times and maybe a sneak peek webcam session here or there..well, not here but you know what i mean

as for feeling better about it, well i am still trying to lose abit more so i just keep rationalizing it as i will feel better about it when i get down to where i used to be (weight wise - not sure how clear my rambling is)
probably not the best thing but hey thats where i am....

 

[Shankara20]

.......I'm not sure. I think I wouldn't be here (on these forums, not just this thread) if I wasn't willing to expose myself somewhat. Maybe it's because I'm trying to get over this shyness, or maybe it's just because I like that feeling of embarrassment. I'm not really sure yet. But I'm sure eventually I'll figure it out.

I am glad you continue to share some of yourself with us.

 

[Shankara20]

I suspect *if* I ever enter a relationship again, those first few moments of being disrobed will not be without their fair share of anxiety.

I understand. I hope that day arrives for you and that it turns out to be a pleasant experience.

This is not exactly the same, but about a year ago I "almost" got into a relationship with someone not into this thing that we do. I was more tied up about how my piercings would be received then how my tummy would be accepted.

 

[Shankara20]

I am not an exhibitionist by any stretch, BUT since I have found My place in this lifestyle I have been comfortable in My own skin, which is something I could never say before.

I have always had issues about My weight, and yes I am a guy. But, since I have discovered this lifestyle I have as i said just become much more comfortable with Me.

Cool. Do you think your increased comfort with your body is directly related with no longer having an important part of your identity hidden?

 

[Shankara20]

Quoting my self:
i feel i am in the same boat in situations where me and mine take in a third, and i doubt you'd call that semi public. like shakara, i am not too crazy about my butt and try to stay out of postions where it is oh so much on display (not when its just the 2 of us though) and it sux cuz it keeps me out of nice spots like being on all fours and such. I totally get mad at myself for being 'so freakin shy' as you said.

-ok so yeah i just copy/pasted my thoughts on the subject and moved em here..i am a bit lazy..but i hear ya...and i guess when i think of it there are plenty of other times i make sure 'to arrange myself' in flattering positions; such as naughty pic/home movie taking times and maybe a sneak peek webcam session here or there..well, not here but you know what i mean

as for feeling better about it, well i am still trying to lose abit more so i just keep rationalizing it as i will feel better about it when i get down to where i used to be (weight wise - not sure how clear my rambling is)
probably not the best thing but hey thats where i am....

well, there is that visual in my head again *sigh*

"'to arrange myself' in flattering positions" - I understand. When I do a photo shoot of myself I end up dumping a bunch because the position is not "just so" - but as you can tell if you have looked at my pics my perimeters are rather loose.

 

[Soumis]

I don't think of myself as an exhibitionist, and I don't think others would say I was....that being said, I've spent an awful lot of time naked in relatively public bsdm spaces.

I have a love/hate relationship with my body, I imagine like a lot of people. I love my boobs, my hips, my face, in a good pair of underwear or pants - my ass. I hate my tummy, my thighs, my legs, and my height...and of course my ass in a less flattering pair of underwear.

In public I dress pretty conservatively. At the beach...ugh...that has to be my least favorite form of exposing anything. At spas I can be pretty comfortable. There's that initial discomfort disrobing, same as there would be at a doctor's, but at a spa I find that the good feelings that come from a massage, facial, whatever, tend to spill over to my body by the time I leave, so I'm comfortable with that exposure.

Play parties...hmm...I have to admit that much of my attitude toward my exposure at play parties comes from necessity. I've never scened with clothing on. I find clothing distracting, and annoying consequently. I dislike the way clothes can break up a sensation, whether lessening the impact of a flogger or interrupting something being moved along my skin. The only comfortable amount of clothing for myself in a scene is stockings and shoes, because I can still get a good flogging without their interference or worrying about their possible interference. Shoes can be a helpful because they make up for my shortness and make playing on a cross more comfortable. That said, my fondness for being naked in a scene only extends as far as the scene does. Afterwards I'm not going to linger in a less than clothed state.

The only odd time I've had with this was when I was doing a Japanese rope bondage demo. There was some down time when I was left in the ropes for a bit. I can only assume that my brain wrote it off as "scene time" because my lack of clothing wasn't terribly bothersome.

 

[raven_wish]

well, there is that visual in my head again *sigh*

damn..i did not even think of that when i re posted this! and i knew your thinking!
i sucketh

 

[myinnerslut]

i consider myself self conscious. being on top is my least favorite position becuase i am very conscious of what shape my body is in.

i also go to a nude beach durgin the summer. this may seem very contridictory to what i just said about being self conscious, but ive found that being around so many other completly exposed bodies of such varying body shapes made it actually easier to bare all and not be embarresed. nobody was examinig or being critical of anyone else's body. there were nude skinny people and nude fat people and nude people in the middle, all side by side. i actually find it momre of a meat market on the clothed beach then on the beach where everything is exposed to everyone.

i guess it all depends on if i feel like im being judged, examined, or critiqued.

 

[the captians wench]

I do have issues. I really wish I was 3 sizes smaller (and I'm working on it), but I'm a nudist as well. I don't like the feel of clothes, unless it's a corset. I'm much happier if I can get away with wearing just my collar and a pony tail. But there's just something about getting caught that excites me. But I'm driffting...

When I started my pic thread I was 350+lbs and a size 24. I felt ugly, I hated me, not just my body. I got a lot of incoragement from different friends and I posted. As I recieved attention, I posted more. It boosted my ego, and boosted my mood. When I started feeling good about myself (or at least not as bad) I started taking care of myself. Now I'm 200lbs and a size 15 (almost into that 14 ). I feel good about me now, and I really love the attention. Also Master loves for me to show off, so when I do a set that he really likes I'm praised (and he has yet to not like a set) and that positive re-enforcement is something that I need.

BTW for those who have not read thru my pic thread, that's how Master and I met, and a lot of our first interactions are there. It's so nice having a place that recorded our falling in love.

 

[serijules]

I'm a BBW and find curves very attractive....but I have a hard time believing anyone else does, including my Ma'am, which drives her insane.

I am VERY much a shy exhibitionist. I am very very shy, I hate my body, I don't like to show it off and I have very low confidence in my beauty. However, I get huge thrills out of being forced to be naked in public (I was completely naked for the first time and on display at a play party in Sept....I've been partially nude in public parties before, but never completely naked and made to kneel on display). It was such a thrill to feel so owned that even my deepest fears are pushed, to know I have no control over it even though it is very very much something I would choose not to do. It also makes me feel good that my Ma'am obviously has enough pride in me that she wishes to show me off and finds me beautiful enough to display like that.

I also really enjoy when she makes me available for others to use while she watches, or when she displays her control of me in vanilla public places. She is careful about this, but I know that if I act inappropriately in public, she will correct me regardless of who is around, and I know better than to protest if she orders me to do something I'm not comfortable with because of the public aspect of it. We know how to do these things without forcing our kink on vanillas, and it can be a very big display of control that I very much enjoy despite the feelings of dread and discomfort they often bring as well as thrills.

 

[Shankara20]

I have always liked being naked. I remember as a teen going out in the back yard at night and wanking - first there was the feeling of freedom of being naked outside then came the buzz of the fear of being caught. Later on I would look for times and places to go skinny-dipping, alone or with friends. I still love the feeling of swimming naked.

In my mid-thirties I got my first massage and was a wreck worrying about getting hard. In time I learning how to be nude in places that were about being nude without sexual content and switch to a totally different mind/body set for being naked in a sexual group.

I am more relaxed about my body image in the non-sexual venues and more self-critical in the sexual groups.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

I have always loved being an exhibitionist. From back when I was a skinny high schooler to my rather roundish figure of today. I think I am awesome and I guess I don't really care if others agree or not.

For me it's the excitment of me doing the actual public display way more than what viewers may think of it!

 

[tailfinz69]

See my thread here:
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=472684&highlight=nudists

 

[tailfinz69]

nude

Women are WAY too worried about their weight. There are many guys like me who will take a plump woman over a skinflint ANY DAY.

 

[Shankara20]

Women are WAY too worried about their weight. There are many guys like me who will take a plump woman over a skinflint ANY DAY.

I think there are guys with the same sort of feelings.

 

[tailfinz69]

Could be. I only care about the women...

I think there are guys with the same sort of feelings.

 

[jadefirefly]

Could be. I only care about the women...

Well, that's a little bit harsh, now isn't it?

 

[tailfinz69]

I am a bit harsh, but in a good way...

 

[bella247]

My journey

Self conscious and dressing down had been me for as long as I could remember prior to my D/s exploartion.

I have been a tall but average weight kid that turned into a chubby teenager. In those years I pretended not to care about looks much and didn't feel like missing out either. However, as I blossomed into an overweight young woman, enrolled at university and the years started passing by, I started to feel more and more sorry for my looks, or the lack thereof. I used to blame my body for men never seeing a "woman" in me, just a buddy or study aid. Fact is, I think many of the self depresciating issues and low self esteem I have had were routed in my body image, which I still can't fully accept.

I have tried to "break free" from that viscious circle through the safe anonimity of the internet, posting semi-nude and what I considered "alluring" images of my body. The responses were overwhelming and made me feel elated for a few days, but in the end just left me feeling cheap and even more empty.

About the influence of D/s I am not so sure. I found a wonderful long distance friend through my exploration who helped me to appreciate my body and discover my charms through his patience and constant, honest praise.

Over the last year I noticed a change in my own attitude. I'm not sure whether it is rooted in the budding confidence of my sexuality, or the acceptance I have found in my trustworthy friend's eyes, but fact is I pay more attention to my looks, and my friends and colleagues seem to recognize the efforts and reward them with the occasional compliment.

So, all in all, I feel as though it was still a long way to go. And while I agree that you have to find that acceptance and love for yourself within your heart, encouragement and others' inspiring example can make the difference at times that may get your started down that bumpy, yet rewarding road of discovering your own beauty.

 

[Shankara20]

Self conscious and dressing down had been me for as long as I could remember prior to my D/s exploartion.

I have been a tall but average weight kid that turned into a chubby teenager. In those years I pretended not to care about looks much and didn't feel like missing out either. However, as I blossomed into an overweight young woman, enrolled at university and the years started passing by, I started to feel more and more sorry for my looks, or the lack thereof. I used to blame my body for men never seeing a "woman" in me, just a buddy or study aid. Fact is, I think many of the self depresciating issues and low self esteem I have had were routed in my body image, which I still can't fully accept.

I have tried to "break free" from that viscious circle through the safe anonimity of the internet, posting semi-nude and what I considered "alluring" images of my body. The responses were overwhelming and made me feel elated for a few days, but in the end just left me feeling cheap and even more empty.

About the influence of D/s I am not so sure. I found a wonderful long distance friend through my exploration who helped me to appreciate my body and discover my charms through his patience and constant, honest praise.

Over the last year I noticed a change in my own attitude. I'm not sure whether it is rooted in the budding confidence of my sexuality, or the acceptance I have found in my trustworthy friend's eyes, but fact is I pay more attention to my looks, and my friends and colleagues seem to recognize the efforts and reward them with the occasional compliment.

So, all in all, I feel as though it was still a long way to go. And while I agree that you have to find that acceptance and love for yourself within your heart, encouragement and others' inspiring example can make the difference at times that may get your started down that bumpy, yet rewarding road of discovering your own beauty.

bella, welcome and thank you for your heartfelt post.

Shank.

 

[raven_wish]

I have tried to "break free" from that viscious circle through the safe anonimity of the internet, posting semi-nude and what I considered "alluring" images of my body. The responses were overwhelming and made me feel elated for a few days, but in the end just left me feeling cheap and even more empty.


So, all in all, I feel as though it was still a long way to go. And while I agree that you have to find that acceptance and love for yourself within your heart, encouragement and others' inspiring example can make the difference at times that may get your started down that bumpy, yet rewarding road of discovering your own beauty.

i think your post is very insightful
i hope some of this will rub off on me
thanks belle