The Shameful Confession Thread

[shereads]

I'm over the Pope.



I know. He was adorable. I feel sad for my Catholic friends, but I'm ready to move on. In fact, I'm already hoping the next guy will toss condoms from the Popemobile.

Even Fidel Castro is taking this harder than I am. If he can declare a three-day mourning period, an agnostic should be able to sustain one full evening of grief without indulging in a bubblebath and a trashy paperback novel.

I feel awful about this.

 

[Dar~]

I missed lit, when I should have been busy being enthralled with my husband on his first day back.

 

[shereads]

I missed lit, when I should have been busy being enthralled with my husband on his first day back.

You were married to the Pope?

Omigod. I'm so embarrassed. I had no idea he was married, much less that his wife might be a regular at Literotica.

 

[Dar~]

You were married to the Pope?

Omigod. I'm so embarrassed. I had no idea he was married, much less that his wife might be a regular at Literotica.

Nah!! Just my little shameful confession. The pope is WAY too kinky for me.

 

[rgraham666]

I spend at least fifteen minutes a day practicing killing people with my bare hands.

Kinda kills your image of me, doesn't it?

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I spend at least fifteen minutes a day practicing killing people with my bare hands.

Kinda kills your image of me, doesn't it?

I hide Rob's dead bodies. Does that make me worse?
oh, practicing to hide them, that is

 

[rgraham666]

I hide Rob's dead bodies. Does that make me worse?
oh, practicing to hide them, that is

So that's where they go. I sometimes wondered.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I saw the news this morning where they had the Pope all dressed up and laid out for viewing. I mean, the Pope's corpse.

I'll never understand why people do this. To me there's something really sick and degrading about it. It's like why not sit the body up and put a cigarette and a drink in its hand and some groucho-glasses on its face. How long did they have Lenin's shell on display? 50 years or something? They must have kept him together with Bondo and Krazy Glue.

Other shameful confessions? I don't care about sports. How's that?

--Zoot

 

[KarenAM]

I heard about the pope's death from these boards. On a porn site. While writing on my porn novel.

If I were Catholic, I'd probably feel guilty about that...



I hope the next pope is like John Paul I. I liked that guy.

 

[Kassiana]

I'm not sad that the Pope is dead.

Oh, I feel for those who miss him, but I found him to be an arrogant anti-gay misogynist.

I'm more worried, honestly, that the next Pope will be worse than JP was.

I despise televised sports.

And I hate kittens.

What? I'm a bird owner. You think I want little predators invading my home, slurping up my sweet babies?

So, yeah. How about them Cubs? ::whistles innocently, then bolts for the door as the Catholics/sports fans/kitten lovers scream and start throwing stuff at her::

 

[sigismund]

Right now, all the popes are dead. every last one of them.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Shameful Confession: I was the one that started the fire that burned down the field that was all black and yucky for a whole summer. It was an accident.

*Deep Breath*

I've been carrying that around for 12 years. I feel much better now.

~lucky

 

[NoJo]

Shameful Confession: I was the one that started the fire that burned down the field that was all black and yucky for a whole summer. It was an accident.

*Deep Breath*

I've been carrying that around for 12 years. I feel much better now.

~lucky

It's sweet the way you still cover for Vella.

 

[shereads]

I spend at least fifteen minutes a day practicing killing people with my bare hands.

Kinda kills your image of me, doesn't it?

Not at all. It's as good a way as any to prevent carpal tunnel syndrome, and it's safer than keeping a stash of automatic weapons.

 

[shereads]

Shameful Confession: I was the one that started the fire that burned down the field that was all black and yucky for a whole summer. It was an accident.

*Deep Breath*

I've been carrying that around for 12 years. I feel much better now.

~lucky

Cute field mice died in that fire. With tiny bowties and white four-fingered gloves.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

It's sweet the way you still cover for Vella.

She's the best cunnilinguist I know. It's the least I can do.

 

[shereads]

You know what would be fun? A thread about a frat party at the College of Cardinals.

Or maybe not.

Note to future Pope (I alreadh think of you as "Steve.") I hope you plan to continue the tradition of visiting third-world countries to bring hope to people living in ever-worsening poverty. Next time you're waving at a crowd of particularly skinny people in a country with a high birth rate and an epidemic of children born with AIDS, ask yourself whether it might be okay not to mention the sin of birth control. birth Just that once.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Speaking of condoms and Catholics...

I never, ever understood how/why it was ok to use the withdrawal method, but not condoms. Honestly. What's the difference, God-wise, if you spill it rather than catch it neatly in a condom?

 

[impressive]

What's the difference, God-wise, if you spill it rather than catch it neatly in a condom?

God hates wet spots.

 

[Dar~]

From what I understand, they aren't supposed you use the withdrawl method either. They are supposed to do NFP. Where they calculate the ovulation cycle. they just aren't supposed to have sex if they don't wan tto be pregnant. This comes from my friend who was almost a nun.

 

[rgraham666]

From what I understand, they aren't supposed you use the withdrawl method either. They are supposed to do NFP. Where they calculate the ovulation cycle. they just aren't supposed to have sex if they don't wan tto be pregnant. This comes from my friend who was almost a nun.

There's a term for people who use the rhythm method, 'parents'.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

There's a term for people who use the rhythm method, 'parents'.

It's actually an incredibly effective method when followed as proposed with calendar and strict adherence. (Takes the spontaneous & fun right out of the whole deal, but it can be quite effective.)



~lucky

 

[LadyJeanne]

From what I understand, they aren't supposed you use the withdrawl method either. They are supposed to do NFP. Where they calculate the ovulation cycle. they just aren't supposed to have sex if they don't wan tto be pregnant. This comes from my friend who was almost a nun.

I'm still confused. If they're using the rhythm method, they're still trying to have sex without getting pregnant.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I'm still confused. If they're using the rhythm method, they're still trying to have sex without getting pregnant.

Yep. I guess they're consoled by the fact that there's nothing artificial about it. Also, as Rob stated there is the possibility for some sort of fluke (*gag* divine intervention) that might make a baby anyway.

Your question came up in a big way on an old thread I started about Roe v. Wade. The question, relating to the same idea of stopping births by using the pill, was concerned with spilled sperm. Just think of all those little swimmers carrying the potential of life...

I agree with you, but not being Catholic can only speculate as to the reasoning.

~lucky

 

[impressive]

Yep. I guess they're consoled by the fact that there's nothing artificial about it. Also, as Rob stated there is the possibility for some sort of fluke (*gag* divine intervention) that might make a baby anyway.

Your question came up in a big way on an old thread I started about Roe v. Wade. The question, relating to the same idea of stopping births by using the pill, was concerned with spilled sperm. Just think of all those little swimmers carrying the potential of life...

I agree with you, but not being Catholic can only speculate as to the reasoning.

~lucky

So, if a Catholic scoops up all those spilled swimmers and stores 'em in a Ziploc baggie in the freezer, is it okay to fuck like mad?