B
BeautifulBlueSky218
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I'm passed my troubles.
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I still remember the stillness in the air that night as he yelled at me. The way he yelled at me sent a shiver up my spine. Remember the look at his face gave me nothing but fright. He was someone I loved yet he was nothing but an abuser. Tears dripped down my face and I felt fright. Shoved him as I walked passed him as he called me a "Cunt"
Family and friends vanished in sight. Nobody to call, nowhere to reach out to help, because I felt pain and misery. Smoking pills to take the edge off, to escape this hellish living nightmare. Abuser is real. Why we so melancholy sometimes?
"Why you looking at him?" he spoke in such a demanding tone.
"I wasn't looking at him...." my voice came out in a shaking manner.
"Yes you were!! I saw you!! You want to fuck him don't you!" he screamed as he sped into his car.
As I sat on the sofa that night I watched American Horror Story: Murder House and sobbed in the night because I realized something deep down. I ignored it for so long. Didn't want to admit that I was in love with a monster. Deep down I felt Violet's pain. I still remember her sobbing to Tate, "Please Tate... I don't wanna die."Tate shooked his head and spoke in such a calm manner, "It's too late for that." Violet cried as she sat on the steps inside a house she calls her home, yet she can no longer escape. She's now trapped with a psychopath who claims to love her and want to be with her forever.
Tate: "It's you and me, together for always." As I watched the screen I frowned and was pissed off by what I was seeing. So many girls claim they all want a boyfriend like him, yet they don't even see how he's totally insane and unstable.
As Tate walked into Violet's vision Tate spoke in such a pleading tone, "You changed me Violet.... You're the only light I've ever known."
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a7/0d/8f/a70d8fdbc2f84ad40bb4484c00b67e8b.jpg
"I love you Tate but I can't forgive you... You have to pay for what you've done. All the pain you've caused, all the sorrow." "I can't be with you. I won't be with you."
By the end of the scene I sobbed at the edge of my couch hard and full of sadness. As the phone ring my boyfriend demands where I'm at and why I didn't answer the phone. As more insults come, I knew I had to end it. I had to end it. I had to get away from him. I'm totally aware of abusers out there and I will never allow another man in my life to treat me this way. I refuse. Abuse is real. Domestic Violence damages people's self esteem and it's horrible. I'm no longer a victim anymore. I'm a "Survivor." I owe that TV show a lot. It aired around the time of my abuse and I'm so glad I watched it because it made me much more aware as to what was going on with me and why I was feeling the way I did. There's so many times that he said I'm sorry to me that I've lost count. "I'll change." "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean too." "You made me angry!" "Please forgive me." "Please don't leave me." as he wept and sobbed as he looked at me. So many pleading tones.
https://65.media.tumblr.com/f2a9147b8bb8cdb791ef8c483da9a68f/tumblr_njn0zoEBga1rpcl4mo1_400.gif
So many lies, so many broken promises. So many threats and scars that can't be seen with the naked eye. It's almost laughable because he's such a liar. He convinces people so well and makes people believe his lies. He'll do anything to get people to feel sorry for him. He's an abuser and this is what he'll do until he gets help. I'm so glad I'm away from him. Even my old boyfriend who I talk to a lot checks up on me and makes sure I'm okay. He's my best friend and he looks after me. Told me if anyone who tries to isolate me away from family, friends or from talking to him to leave the person immediately. He's the one who suggested me to write this out and I thank him for this because he looks after me and always makes sure I'm okay.
Thankfully I'm in a better place now where I can finally smile, laugh and feel free. I thought I'd share my story to help others and for anyone not to feel ashamed if they were abused themselves. Don't be silent. Speak now.
I still remember the stillness in the air that night as he yelled at me. The way he yelled at me sent a shiver up my spine. Remember the look at his face gave me nothing but fright. He was someone I loved yet he was nothing but an abuser. Tears dripped down my face and I felt fright. Shoved him as I walked passed him as he called me a "Cunt"
Family and friends vanished in sight. Nobody to call, nowhere to reach out to help, because I felt pain and misery. Smoking pills to take the edge off, to escape this hellish living nightmare. Abuser is real. Why we so melancholy sometimes?
"Why you looking at him?" he spoke in such a demanding tone.
"I wasn't looking at him...." my voice came out in a shaking manner.
"Yes you were!! I saw you!! You want to fuck him don't you!" he screamed as he sped into his car.
As I sat on the sofa that night I watched American Horror Story: Murder House and sobbed in the night because I realized something deep down. I ignored it for so long. Didn't want to admit that I was in love with a monster. Deep down I felt Violet's pain. I still remember her sobbing to Tate, "Please Tate... I don't wanna die."Tate shooked his head and spoke in such a calm manner, "It's too late for that." Violet cried as she sat on the steps inside a house she calls her home, yet she can no longer escape. She's now trapped with a psychopath who claims to love her and want to be with her forever.
Tate: "It's you and me, together for always." As I watched the screen I frowned and was pissed off by what I was seeing. So many girls claim they all want a boyfriend like him, yet they don't even see how he's totally insane and unstable.
As Tate walked into Violet's vision Tate spoke in such a pleading tone, "You changed me Violet.... You're the only light I've ever known."
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a7/0d/8f/a70d8fdbc2f84ad40bb4484c00b67e8b.jpg
"I love you Tate but I can't forgive you... You have to pay for what you've done. All the pain you've caused, all the sorrow." "I can't be with you. I won't be with you."
By the end of the scene I sobbed at the edge of my couch hard and full of sadness. As the phone ring my boyfriend demands where I'm at and why I didn't answer the phone. As more insults come, I knew I had to end it. I had to end it. I had to get away from him. I'm totally aware of abusers out there and I will never allow another man in my life to treat me this way. I refuse. Abuse is real. Domestic Violence damages people's self esteem and it's horrible. I'm no longer a victim anymore. I'm a "Survivor." I owe that TV show a lot. It aired around the time of my abuse and I'm so glad I watched it because it made me much more aware as to what was going on with me and why I was feeling the way I did. There's so many times that he said I'm sorry to me that I've lost count. "I'll change." "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean too." "You made me angry!" "Please forgive me." "Please don't leave me." as he wept and sobbed as he looked at me. So many pleading tones.
https://65.media.tumblr.com/f2a9147b8bb8cdb791ef8c483da9a68f/tumblr_njn0zoEBga1rpcl4mo1_400.gif
So many lies, so many broken promises. So many threats and scars that can't be seen with the naked eye. It's almost laughable because he's such a liar. He convinces people so well and makes people believe his lies. He'll do anything to get people to feel sorry for him. He's an abuser and this is what he'll do until he gets help. I'm so glad I'm away from him. Even my old boyfriend who I talk to a lot checks up on me and makes sure I'm okay. He's my best friend and he looks after me. Told me if anyone who tries to isolate me away from family, friends or from talking to him to leave the person immediately. He's the one who suggested me to write this out and I thank him for this because he looks after me and always makes sure I'm okay.
Thankfully I'm in a better place now where I can finally smile, laugh and feel free. I thought I'd share my story to help others and for anyone not to feel ashamed if they were abused themselves. Don't be silent. Speak now.
Good.Thankfully I'm in a better place now where I can finally smile, laugh and feel free.