The Said vs Said Thread

[Liar]

"I got to go to the bathroom," Pete said.

"I got to go to the bathroom," said Pete.

I've seen both in many books I've read, so I assume it's correct to use either.

Which would you use? (provided that Pete ever needs to go in your story, that is) And why? Are you consitent?

 

[matriarch]

"I got to go to the bathroom," Pete said.

"I got to go to the bathroom," said Pete.

I've seen both in many books I've read, so I assume it's correct to use either.

Which would you use? And why? Are you consitent?

The second one, simply because it sounds better when read out loud, less clumsy.

 

[impressive]

The second one, simply because it sounds better when read out loud, less clumsy.

*agrees with mat*

ETA: Yes, I'm consistent.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

"I got to go to the bathroom," Pete said.

"I got to go to the bathroom," said Pete.

I've seen both in many books I've read, so I assume it's correct to use either.

Which would you use? And why? Are you consitent?

"I'm not consistent at all," she said. "I like to switch it up a little."

 

[Liar]

"I'm not consistent at all," she said. "I like to switch it up a little."

When it's a name, I tend do go either way, "said Elmer" or "Elmer said". But when it's a pronoun, it's always "he said", because "said he" sounds just weird.

 

[indianPilot]

Said is one of those invisible words - but still worth using sparingly. It really only needs be used when there is the slightest possible doubt a reader may become confused with who is speaking. Say at the first line of dialogue. After that you tend to get a rythmn going and the reader assigns names without pormpting.

indianPilot

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Said is one of those invisible words - but still worth using sparingly. It really only needs be used when there is the slightest possible doubt a reader may become confused with who is speaking. Say at the first line of dialogue. After that you tend to get a rythmn going and the reader assigns names without pormpting.

indianPilot

A corollary though is conversation involvingmore than two people. You can get away with large blocks of unattributed dialogue, so long as the speaker can be infered by the words or by the alternating pattern.

When you add a thrid or fourth speaker, you can't usually leave the dialogue unattributed unless the words themselves are so indicative of one character's position or POV that they cannot be mistaken for another.

 

[Guest]

"I got to go to the bathroom," Pete said.

"I got to go to the bathroom," said Pete.

I've seen both in many books I've read, so I assume it's correct to use either.

Which would you use? (provided that Pete ever needs to go in your story, that is) And why? Are you consitent?

"I got to go to the bathroom."

"Ok, Pete, you may go but take the hall pass."

"Thanks, Miss Wilson, I'll be right back."

 

[Guest]

A corollary though is conversation involvingmore than two people. You can get away with large blocks of unattributed dialogue, so long as the speaker can be infered by the words or by the alternating pattern.

When you add a thrid or fourth speaker, you can't usually leave the dialogue unattributed unless the words themselves are so indicative of one character's position or POV that they cannot be mistaken for another.

Ooops. That'll teach me to read the whole thread before responding.

EDIT: Actually I did that for both 'Lympics stories. Virtually no tags in either story and no one mentioned it being hard to follow.

 

[Guest]

"I'm not consistent at all," she said. "I like to switch it up a little."

Me too, I'm switcher.

 

[Decayed Angel]

"I got to go to the bathroom," Pete said.

"I got to go to the bathroom," said Pete.

I've seen both in many books I've read, so I assume it's correct to use either.

Which would you use? (provided that Pete ever needs to go in your story, that is) And why? Are you consitent?

"I got to go to the bathroom," Pete hissed.

 

[Boxlicker101]

"I got to go to the bathroom," Pete hissed.

"I got to go to the bathroom," Pete groaned.

 

[TheEarl]

Pete stretched his arm into the air as high as he could and waved it around. "I got to go to the bathroom!"

The teacher cocked her head and gave him an inquiring look. "I got to?"

"Yes! I got to!"

"I have got to, Peter. Say it properly and then you may go."

The Earl
The hater of all dialogue tags

 

[Boxlicker101]

Pete stretched his arm into the air as high as he could and waved it around. "I got to go to the bathroom!"

The teacher cocked her head and gave him an inquiring look. "I got to?"

"Yes! I got to!"

"I have got to, Peter. Say it properly and then you may go."

"That's okay, Teacher. I don't gotta go any more."

The Earl
The hater of all dialogue tags

 

[Guest]

"I got to go to the bathroom," Pete said.

"I got to go to the bathroom," said Pete.

I've seen both in many books I've read, so I assume it's correct to use either.

Which would you use? (provided that Pete ever needs to go in your story, that is) And why? Are you consitent?

"I've got to go to the bathroom," lamented Pete as he crossed his legs and audibly winced.
i hate he/she 'said'
though at times, i believe brevity is needed.

 

[Purple Sage]

Obviously, Pete should have gone before he left the house.

 

[Stella_Omega]

"I've got to go to the bathroom," lamented Pete as he crossed his legs and audibly winced.
i hate he/she 'said'
though at times, i believe brevity is needed.

I hate "said Pete" and only use it when I'm doing period dialogue;
"Give us a kiss then" spake Moll.

normally, I'd write your example this way;
"I've got to go to the bathroom," Pete lamented. He crossed his legs and winced.
Wincing is a facial gesture, my darling, and never audible

IndianPilot took me to task for having too many "saids" in a story. ON re-reading it, i decided to give it a shot, and got rid of quite a few of them

 

[champagne1982]

"Said" as an attributive shouldn't be neurotically avoided. As indianpilot says, it's invisible and therefore unobtrusive when used sparingly. When the attributives become burdensome are when the author obviously tries to stay away from repetition, thinking that a change in verb is going to do the same job as varying your sentence structure and length can.

ie:

Jim said, "Pete's gotta go."

Pete blurted, "Yeah, I do."

Teacher muttered, "Go then."​

versus

Jim said, "Pete's gotta go."

Unapologetically, the young man rose to his feet. "Yeah, I do," Pete said.

Rolling her eyes, Teacher said, with a sigh, "Go then."​

 

[Guest]

I hate "said Pete" and only use it when I'm doing period dialogue;
"Give us a kiss then" spake Moll.

normally, I'd write your example this way;
"I've got to go to the bathroom," Pete lamented. He crossed his legs and winced.
Wincing is a facial gesture, my darling, and never audible

IndianPilot took me to task for having too many "saids" in a story. ON re-reading it, i decided to give it a shot, and got rid of quite a few of them

groovy.
i get what youre saying.
however, you can hear someone wince. honest. make a wincing face in the mirror and listen to the sound your mouth makes. but i do get your jist.

 

[indianPilot]

A corollary though is conversation involvingmore than two people. You can get away with large blocks of unattributed dialogue, so long as the speaker can be infered by the words or by the alternating pattern.

That's exactly right - one of the fun things of reading well written work is how the author engineers the conversation around this restriction. I remember reading a style guide years ago - and for the life of cant remember which one. It suggested tin conversations of three or more characters, that the author should tag every forth or fifth utterance by each character.

Never tried it myself, so not sure how it would look on paper

indianPilot

 

[Just-Legal]

A corollary though is conversation involvingmore than two people. You can get away with large blocks of unattributed dialogue, so long as the speaker can be infered by the words or by the alternating pattern.

That's exactly right - one of the fun things of reading well written work is how the author engineers the conversation around this restriction. I remember reading a style guide years ago - and for the life of cant remember which one. It suggested tin conversations of three or more characters, that the author should tag every forth or fifth utterance by each character.

Never tried it myself, so not sure how it would look on paper

indianPilot

I hate writing dialogue for this reason, my dialgoue tags *suck*

And... IndianPilot, did you mean to use HTML tags? *grin*

 

[TheEarl]

"Said" as an attributive shouldn't be neurotically avoided. As indianpilot says, it's invisible and therefore unobtrusive when used sparingly.

I'm not sure I can agree wholeheartedly with that. You'd be hard pressed to find a dialogue tag in any of my pieces. Although, when I'm reading, 'said' is reasonably quiet, when I'm writing, it screams out at me like a Belisha Beacon. It interferes with the way I write as it constantly looks very loud.

Do you think it's wrong of me to have a writing style based on the way I read my own writing, not based on how I'd read other people's?

The Earl

 

[Liar]

Do you think it's wrong of me to have a writing style based on the way I read my own writing, not based on how I'd read other people's?

The Earl

Interresting question in it's own right. I'd think the ideal would be to write the way that you like to read. But I've personally never noticed any difference. The things that stick out like warts on the forehead in my own writing is the same things that annoys me in other things I read.

 

[Stella_Omega]

A corollary though is conversation involvingmore than two people. You can get away with large blocks of unattributed dialogue, so long as the speaker can be infered by the words or by the alternating pattern.

That's exactly right - one of the fun things of reading well written work is how the author engineers the conversation around this restriction. I remember reading a style guide years ago - and for the life of cant remember which one. It suggested tin conversations of three or more characters, that the author should tag every forth or fifth utterance by each character.

Never tried it myself, so not sure how it would look on paper

indianPilot

I just tried it, it sucked In the particualr passage, you are being introduced to a large group of people by way of their comnversation, and you only know two of them at all, and it just got confusing...
Maybe for three charactewrs, though.

I avoid more than four, generally- I always think of the utter quagmires Heinlein wrote himself into, in the Lazarus Long books- five, six people, two of whom were the same person- and a talking ship besides, bless his heart!