The Republican base is behaving like a guy who just got dumped by his wife.

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The GOP: divorced from reality
The Republican base is behaving like a guy who just got dumped by his wife.
By Bill Maher
April 24, 2009

If conservatives don't want to be seen as bitter people who cling to their guns and religion and anti-immigrant sentiments, they should stop being bitter and clinging to their guns, religion and anti-immigrant sentiments.

It's been a week now, and I still don't know what those "tea bag" protests were about. I saw signs protesting abortion, illegal immigrants, the bank bailout and that gay guy who's going to win "American Idol." But it wasn't tax day that made them crazy; it was election day. Because that's when Republicans became what they fear most: a minority.

The conservative base is absolutely apoplectic because, because ... well, nobody knows. They're mad as hell, and they're not going to take it anymore. Even though they're not quite sure what "it" is. But they know they're fed up with "it," and that "it" has got to stop.

Here are the big issues for normal people: the war, the economy, the environment, mending fences with our enemies and allies, and the rule of law.

And here's the list of Republican obsessions since President Obama took office: that his birth certificate is supposedly fake, he uses a teleprompter too much, he bowed to a Saudi guy, Europeans like him, he gives inappropriate gifts, his wife shamelessly flaunts her upper arms, and he shook hands with Hugo Chavez and slipped him the nuclear launch codes.

Do these sound like the concerns of a healthy, vibrant political party?

It's sad what's happened to the Republicans. They used to be the party of the big tent; now they're the party of the sideshow attraction, a socially awkward group of mostly white people who speak a language only they understand. Like Trekkies, but paranoid.

The GOP base is convinced that Obama is going to raise their taxes, which he just lowered. But, you say, "Bill, that's just the fringe of the Republican Party." No, it's not. The governor of Texas, Rick Perry, is not afraid to say publicly that thinking out loud about Texas seceding from the Union is appropriate considering that ... Obama wants to raise taxes 3% on 5% of the people? I'm not sure exactly what Perry's independent nation would look like, but I'm pretty sure it would be free of taxes and Planned Parenthood. And I would have to totally rethink my position on a border fence.

I know. It's not about what Obama's done. It's what he's planning. But you can't be sick and tired of something someone might do.

Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota recently said she fears that Obama will build "reeducation" camps to indoctrinate young people. But Obama hasn't made any moves toward taking anyone's guns, and with money as tight as it is, the last thing the president wants to do is run a camp where he has to shelter and feed a bunch of fat, angry white people.

Look, I get it, "real America." After an eight-year run of controlling the White House, Congress and the Supreme Court, this latest election has you feeling like a rejected husband. You've come home to find your things out on the front lawn -- or at least more things than you usually keep out on the front lawn. You're not ready to let go, but the country you love is moving on. And now you want to call it a whore and key its car.

That's what you are, the bitter divorced guy whose country has left him -- obsessing over it, haranguing it, blubbering one minute about how much you love it and vowing the next that if you cannot have it, nobody will.

But it's been almost 100 days, and your country is not coming back to you. She's found somebody new. And it's a black guy.

The healthy thing to do is to just get past it and learn to cherish the memories. You'll always have New Orleans and Abu Ghraib.

And if today's conservatives are insulted by this, because they feel they're better than the people who have the microphone in their party, then I say to them what I would say to moderate Muslims: Denounce your radicals. To paraphrase George W. Bush, either you're with them or you're embarrassed by them.

The thing that you people out of power have to remember is that the people in power are not secretly plotting against you. They don't need to. They already beat you in public.

Bill Maher is the host of HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher."

:D
 
I know. It was his rant last night on Real Time. We nearly spit out our rum!!!!

:D
 
BEST line I've seen this month!!!:

the people in power are not secretly plotting against you. They don't need to. They already beat you in public.

:D :D :D
 
That makes sense.

I know a few rightwing nutjobs who are fine asses.
 
And some of them have fine asses, too. I guess, like any liberal would be, I'm just an equal-opportunity spanker. :D

As long as their fine asses are not located above their shoulders, as is sometimes the case.

That could inhibit spanking, I would think.
 
MAHER remains bitter about losing his job after his anti-American comments following 911. Recall that he compared al Qaeda to patriots. He went from Prime Time to playing Peoria trailer parks, like Mary Ann of Gilliagn's Island.

Conservatives never cried over John McCain's loss, and we dont miss Dubya. The late Democrat activist, Ron Silver, said that Dubya pushed the Democrat agenda more than Clinton ever did, and Dubya would be a Usual Suspect Hero except for the 2000 election. Conservatives always knew Bush wasnt conservative.

The tea-bag thing includes plenty of Usual Suspects because its about the government pissing away trillions on Wall Street stock brokers and credit card bankers, and fatcat auto workers. The trillions added to the national debt will absorb every spare nickle that might have been used to improve the quality of life in America. America has bled 2000000 jobs since Obama became President in January. Do the math. The county north of me has to fire 200 teachers, the county south of me has to get rid of almost 1000, because there is no money to pay them. But Wall Street and Detroit has its money.

The paper interview a few retired auto workers, and they're upset because they fear losing their retirement benefits. One of them pulls 65K a year retired. His wife, a retired auto company book-keeper gets about 50K. They may have to let their Cuban pool-boy go.

Maher wants to be relevant again. But America isnt interested.
 
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Maher never stopped being relevant, if anything, he became more relevant after he was persecuted for doing his ob and telling both sides of the story - between him and the witch hunt over the Indigo Girls, and generally going after anybody who dared disagree with them, those of us paying attention saw the writing on the wall.

It's almost pathetic to me that republicans managed to whip up so much frenzy, essentially repeal the constitution and bankrupt the country over a bunch of guys that have not managed to do anything but explode a few pipe bombs since.

You're a real brave bunch, fer sure.

Some of us actually believe America stands for personal freedom and the right to express your opinion, rather than giving corporations a free ride. I guess that makes us "anti-American"?
 
By MATTHEW LEE, Associated Press Writer Matthew Lee, Associated Press Writer – 17 mins ago


BAGHDAD – U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton/Condoleeza Rice sought to assure Iraqis on Saturday that the Obama/Bush administration would not abandon their country even as it presses ahead with plans to withdraw American troops amid a recent surge in violence.

Rice/Clinton said the drawdown would be handled in a "responsible and careful way" and would not affect efforts to improve Iraq's security forces, or complete reconstruction and development projects.

But Iraqis, and particularly their security forces, need to overcome sectarian and other differences if they are to build a united, secure nation, she said.

"Let me assure you and repeat what President Obama/Bush said, we are committed to Iraq, we want to see a stable, sovereign, self-reliant Iraq," she told a nervous but receptive crowd at a town hall meeting at the U.S. Embassy in the capital.

"We are very committed, but the nature of our commitment may look somewhat different because we are going to be withdrawing our combat troops over the next couple of years," Rice/Clinton said.

On her first trip to Iraq as America's top diplomat, Clinton/Rice said the country has made great strides despite a recent surge in violence. High-profile attacks this past week primarily targeted Shiite worshippers. More than 150 people, many of them Iranian pilgrims, have died.

Ahead of her arrival, Clinton/Rice/Cheney said the attacks are a sign that extremists are afraid the Iraqi government is succeeding...
 
XSSVE

America has been in trouble for a long while, certainly since the 70s when Detroit discovered it couldnt compete with Japan or Germany.

Since then we've made do selling paper to foreigners. We dont make much here that anyone wants to buy. And things went over the cliff when we discovered that Indians and Chinese could do everything for us via computer, except give us a blowjob. Indians will be teaching your kids before you know it.

We make the mistake believing that Kennedy and Kerry and Pelosi are qualitatively different from Bush and Cheney. None of these people live in public housing or drive Chevys. They dont brown-bag their lunch, and they dont wait in line at WAL-MART to buy groceries.
 
That's what happens when you give corporations free rides - they won't compete if they don't have to.
 
XSSVE

Its what happens when anyone gets a free ride. They lose their competitive edge, just like caged tigers become fat and lethargic. Sooner or later something comes along and cleans their clock.
 
Trysail, what the fuck.

Bush shoved us into Iraq, made a stinking cesspit out of that country. Now you're complaining about what-- that Obama's administration acknowledges that the horrible hideous vicious mess is going to be extremely difficult to clean up, that a nation we destroyed is going to take a long time and a lot of commitment to repair?

We all knew that. There are no get out of jail free cards. EVERYTHING Bush did is going to take time and effort to repair.
 
Isn't it amazing?

So many humans are suffering from sudden memory loss.
 
Isn't it amazing?

So many humans are suffering from sudden memory loss.
They don't remember that Bush promised we'd be in and out in nine months.

They don't remember that he lied about the WMD that were his excuse to go in.

They don't remember that money isn't the only reason to make a decision.
 
They don't remember that Bush promised we'd be in and out in nine months.

They don't remember that he lied about the WMD that were his excuse to go in.

They don't remember that money isn't the only reason to make a decision.

They are grieving. Poor little things.
 
New Rule: Since Glenn Beck is clearly onto us, liberals must launch our plan for socialist domination immediately. Listen closely, comrades. I've received word from General Soros and our partners in the U.N. "Operation Streisand" is a 'go.' [suspenseful music plays]

Code 5. Proceed.
 
Looks like Obama wont have us out of Iraq anytime soon, either.
 

Here are the big issues for normal people: the war, the economy, the environment, mending fences with our enemies and allies, and the rule of law.

And here's the list of Republican obsessions since President Obama took office: that his birth certificate is supposedly fake, he uses a teleprompter too much, he bowed to a Saudi guy, Europeans like him, he gives inappropriate gifts, his wife shamelessly flaunts her upper arms, and he shook hands with Hugo Chavez and slipped him the nuclear launch codes.


Well I didn't know that about the nuclear launch codes. When did we put that on the liberal agenda?
 
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