The post-cum comedown

[diorama]

Hello all...i'll write more about my own experiences later, but i thought i'd get the thread going first. Recently i've been suffering from an almost instantaneous and very negative comedown after orgasm. I suffer from depression as well, so that probably doesn't help, but it's really killing my desire for sex and intimate contact and thus not doing my 2yr relationship much good.

The negative thoughts have also started creeping into my mind actually during sex as well, which is obviously a real passion killer...does anyone else get it this bad and is there anything to be done about it?

thanks
d

 

[shelleb4]

This sounds awful. Hope you get some answers here from ppl that help.
Ive never had this, but as sex is such a 'blankie' for me on down days, id hate for what you describe to happen. Its a cruel.
How is your depression at the moment, is it active or dormant? If its active, then maybe a visit to your therapist/dr is called for.
Sex should be medicinal in times of need, not a added negative.
take care of yourself.

 

[diorama]

thanks...it's nice to 'hear' a sympathetic voice...

i don't know about active or passive, to be honest i've been so apathetic for the last few years that i stopped bothering to see my doctor - he gave me a prescription for anti-depressants that i never used 'cos i didn't think it'd really solve the root of the problem. it comes and goes, i suppose. do you think it's mainly the depression causes this?

 

[jeepman6]

My wife went through several years of intense depression and at one point even tried suicide. she had always been a very sexual person and all of a sudden it stopped. She went to the doctor and was put on medication for the depression and all of a sudden she was a totally different person again. Her sexuality came back and the black cloud that was her life lifted away. Your doctor prescribed the medication for a reason so listen and try. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

 

[SweetErika]

I'm not an expert, but you should go back to your doctor (or better yet, a good psychiatrist who can prescribe the right meds and maybe help with getting to the "root" of it). Depression is a wide-sweeping and difficult condition. My own experience is that I have periods of depression that affect every area of my life...I'm lucky enough to know when I need drugs and therapy to help me out of it. I'm out of it now, but I know I will probably need help in the future.
I'm not a huge fan of pill-popping, but do yourself a favor by at least trying the meds and therapy for awhile and see if they help the sex and the other areas of your life. You don't really have anything to lose. Good luck!

 

[diorama]

i know medication would probably make me feel a whole lot better, i was just worried that once i eventually came off the medication the feelings would come back because the root of the problem wouldn't have gone away. i suppose that depends on the root of the problem - but i've always been a very negative person, which is why i think it's something to do with the way i look at life that causes this. and now it's got out of hand. hmm, sorry, rambling a bit there..

feedback appreciated though....i'll try to go and see my doctor again i think...

 

[Cathleen]

Clinical depression is far different from depression - a blue period. From what I am reading here you may benefit from a psycho-pharmalogical evaluation. Clinical depression is a real imbalance of chemicals in the brain. There are hundreds of medications that can be used, alone or in combination. These drugs can allow the body to make the chemical again or increase what is there but isn't enough to keep things balanced.

Anti-depresant drugs do not work unless you are clinically depressed. They do not change your personality - they bring you back to you - like square one. You are yourself again. Also, what if you had to take these for the rest of your life? Many times people can stop taking them, but far more need them for life. Its the body that isn't working correctly, not your mind or will. I take a thyroid pill each day, always will because that gland no longer works - same idea.

I've seen depression from both sides and am one of the very lucky ones, the medications work for me. I've also seen a relative become psychotic and hospitalized. Its a miracle she is alive - she is treatment resistant and its very difficult for her, but she does what she must. There are methods to help.

The fact that you said you've become apathtic for a few years just is ringing in my ears - give a call. You may be wonderfully surprised.

 

[seekingjoy]

listen to Cathleen

Her advise is good.

One more thing.

I had to do a run of anti-depressents for about 10 months. They helped me out a lot. I'm pretty sure the depression was based on some hormone shifts. I'd never had a problem before or since so I was very lucky.

Here's the warning. About 6-8 weeks into my treatment I found it almost impossible to have an orgasm. I was still horney but could not cum. It did not last. Over the next 6-8 weeks I adjusted and things were fine. If you experience this, don't panic. Even if it does not go away while you are on the meds, it will "clear up" very quickly after you stop them.

Also, different meds react differently in your system. So if you decide a long term treatment is good for you, just remember that different meds will react differently in your system. Each one had different "side effects" so while one might cause the problem (they call it erectile disfunction because all the testing is done on men), a different med might not.

Just FYI.

For the record, I'm really glad I listened to my Doc and took the meds.