The Pervy Poetry Slam

[rosco rathbone]

Anyone can go next except marquis, he has to wait for my next battle rime!

 

[rosco rathbone]

I got totally bogged down in the alliterations, enjambments and internal ryhmes of my super evil iceberg slim fantasy. Marquis you can go out of turn if you want, no points will be deducted.

 

[Kajira Callista]

go to bed!

 

[rosco rathbone]

go to bed!

If you don't stop following me around threatening me with bedtime, mommy. I am going to write you into my next battle rime.

 

[rosco rathbone]

*tap tap tap is this thing on?*
squuuuuuuuuuueaaaaalll

Check check check check checkity check it! R-squared the master!
Marquis, can you dig it? Lawyer asked if I harrassed her!
Bitch took the stand, started cryin like I’d teargassed her.
Fuck a lyin bitch, yeah jonnie cochran outclassed her.
Hey bitch
When my nigga last seen you you was mumblin like helen keller
He left you standin like a dummy in the corner of the cellar
Like in that movie the blair witch project,
Bitch you is abject, expect to be checked and decked
Till you learn respect, insect. Professor ‘Enry ‘Iggins said that.
What’s that? You think you gonna be a hellcat?
Yo, Marquis, gimme half–a gallon-sperm, stat!
Fuck’s sake. Huddling talking to yourself and shiverin
We slappin’ a-a-a-ass cheeks till them shits is quiverin
Call victims services! Won’t make a difference.
And in the black trunks got my man marquis mark here
Nominated five times for the motherfuckin mack o the year
Whats that? I can’t hear ya’all Show the love!
Raise your glove son they love you
Lets have a good clean fight yeah right
Shake hands now come out swinging.
School of hard knocks, and hard cocks.
Pistol whip her with my penis on the snot box.
You heard what the fuck I said. Are you crazy bitch? You need to change the rocks in your head.
Playin drums on your ass like a bongo beatin beatnik
Think you too good for that? Fuck it. You ain’t nothin but a chick
And I’m just a hick from the sticks with a flick of the wrist send the cartoon birdies round your head like a buncha sputniks, yeah you could call me a misogynist,
Doctor Phil called me “toxic”. Dropkick. Medic!
Security bumrushed the podium. Oprah better watch her sodium. Bitch had stroke from the unbearable odium. Hold it, boys! I’ll raise your per diem. Come work for me, I call 'em how I see ‘em.
What? You still whining bitch?
Resist? I persist. Dunk your head right in the toilet like a baptist. I got a whole checklist: One. walk behind me single file. Two. keep your eyes on the motherfuckin aisle. Three. I determine your outfit and your hairstyle. Let my man see your profile. Nice, huh?
Four. now how you like this motherfuckin lifestyle?

 

[Kajira Callista]

If you don't stop following me around threatening me with bedtime, mommy. I am going to write you into my next battle rime.

you cant scare me uncle rosco...dont ya know that?
*goes off to warm the milk*

 

[WriterDom]

Ho bitch, on yo knees
I be the pimp you please
bitch slap flying
Ho be crying
my snake get hard
seeing that lard
fatass skank don’t mean shit to me
just a skitter and me a bumblebee
Everybody in the house say “SKAT”
Take a bite outta that

call me “Threads” I sew the pussy shut
And shove my 9 up yo butt
Got ten mo ho in my crib
diamonds in my jock, that ain’t no fib
I own this slam, there be no equal
might as well quit there ain’t no sequel
shutting it down you no dick clowns
Leaving KC upturned and bound
dolf’s be the corner waitin on a john
increasing my portfolio of stocks and bonds
Word

 

[rosco rathbone]

Writer Dom in the hizzzzzouse!!!!

 

[Marquis]

Somebody get the bed ready because when I get back from work I am going to LAY IT DOWN!

 

[sunfox]

Silly boys.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Silly boys.

No kibbitzing in the battle thread! Step up to the mike, sunny. (This is a poetry slam, you dont have to do rap lyrics)

 

[rosco rathbone]

*smirk*

marquis mark is so hunched up over the ol rhymin' dictonary right about now, trying to come up with something that can show its face next to

pistol whip her wit' my penis on the snot-box! ......


bring it!!!!!

 

[snowy ciara]

peeks in, admires the poetry, waves to the Jive Master Poetry Guyz in da Howz, and goes to shower the testosterone away

 

[Marquis]

I'll be back...

 

[Marquis]

I need inspiration...

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I need inspiration...

waiting to see Marquis become inspired...

 

[rosco rathbone]

How's this for inspiration, champ?:


I am KICKING YOUR ASS here. Let's go! Get hot!




lalalalalalala




*busts a cocky kung-fu shadow boxing move*

martial arts movie sample: WhackTHUMParrgg

 

[Marquis]

How's this for inspiration, champ?:


I am KICKING YOUR ASS here. Let's go! Get hot!




lalalalalalala




*busts a cocky kung-fu shadow boxing move*

martial arts movie sample: WhackTHUMParrgg

I insist that with haste you replace your case
you can't resist, I'm an ace when I face the bass
but you persist so I grace this place with my face

They call me poppa Dom
cause I can top a domme
put gooey white in her mouth like poppa johns
do we fight a bout, or just accept that I'm the bomb
22, grinning hard with a pimpin lean
too bad for you, you just couldn't keep it mean
i'm spitting game, giving pain like you never seen
think i'm a kid, i got wisdom like an ancient nigga
place your bid, i spring back like the tale of tigger

you seen nothing till you seen the man in action
your word means nothing, I'm demanding action
like deepthroat head while I'm watching tv
while I cough on your bread like I'm catching TB
you're grinning like a clown cause you're happy to see me

I sleep in the king size
you sleep on the floor
I give a fuck about your ring size
cause you're treated like a whore
spreading that ass just so i dont get bored

 

[Marquis]

Motherfucker.

 

[Xelebes]

A skip to the loo, tralalala

*Chorus* Tralalala

Do y'know what to do? Hahahaha

*Chorus* Hahahaha

Ah yes, my dear, stand before me
while I bow in the tubby
Take my head and coax my tongue
To sing O Fortuna, or sung

Not sure which...

*Chorus* Not sure if it is sing or sung

No really I am not sure!

*Chorus* Oh look at the amateur!

What's this?

*Chorus* Couldn't miss...

In bravado tone

Tickle the shakin' fountain
Suckle the rosy mountain

*Chorus - in harmony* - "Aah"

Twixt the banks of Nile
Driving the forest wild
In fires of heated passion
On one's knee to confession

[long ariatic lines with chorus supporting]

Of loooooooooove
Owed to the keeper of my souuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul
Who's heeeeaaaaaarrrrrrrt
tugs my body with such puuuuuuuuuuuuuuull
That I may not resist
No matter much I insist
That our love is none but sin
Th devil was to wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin.

*Chorus stops - the only thing heard are the violins, 1 & II playing high E in unison*

*hushed*

Is it the dark whims that we follow
To the ceramic-tiled hollow
That we say our love in forms
So odd that it were to cause squirms
Of the unheeded fellow
Who comes in on my bellow...

Twixt the banks of Nile
Driving the forest wild
In fires of heated passion
On one's knee to confession

[long ariatic lines with chorus supporting]

Of loooooooooove


*fine*






-----




I'LL TAKE ALL YOU BITCHEZ ON!

 

[Marquis]

Well goddamn, that's all you RR.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I am sweating over my lyrics as we speak.

Xelebes kinda threw a weirdo monkey wrench in there.....

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

*gasping and laughing hysterically*

I think Xelebes won...

 

[Xelebes]

I did have practice in grade 9 writing out the libretto of an opera that did not have music to it yet. 14 syllables per line, 40 lines per page, 48 pages long - and I was only halfway done before I quite. All in perfect rhyme.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I did have practice in grade 9 writing out the libretto of an opera that did not have music to it yet. 14 syllables per line, 40 lines per page, 48 pages long - and I was only halfway done before I quite. All in perfect rhyme.

You've raised the bar.