The perils of 'cyber'?

[antonym]

First I had better introduce myself. I'm a 24 year old man from the uk. I've just started to realise that I'm bi-curious. I've been chatting to some guys in chat rooms.

So last night I was chatting to some guy. We were getting on great and had been chatting for a few hours. He claimed to be bi-curious too. So the chat got kind of hot and horny and continued like that for quite a while. Then suddenly he vanishes. I haven't heard from him since - he hasn't replied to my emails. So I'm then sitting there like an idiot all horny but now totally frustrated.

This isn't the first time this has happened to me. My guess is that perhaps he has cum and then suddenly come back down to earth and thought "oh my god what am I doing?" and then just panicked and left.

Has anyone else had any bad experiences like this? Is this typical? I just seem to find that 90% of the people you can chat to online are just plain rude, like they forget they're talking to another person with feelings.

I'm probably just being a bit over sensitive, but it's got me a little upset.

Any thoughts?

Thanks

 

[Harrowborg]

Your probably spot on thats what happened. I always look at conversations on here as that happen in 'life'. If I was getting to know someone and within the space of an hour they were getting 'hot and heavy', my impression of them would be slut (male or female), and not someone I wanna get to know. So when chatting to anyone on the net, if there trying to 'rip my clothes off' within about 5 minutes, its a certainty there either having a rub or a tug.

if your going to get to no a guy after meeting them off hte internet, seriously, if there trying it on after such a short space of time, not worth the effort mate.

 

[madmanmike]

yep he was jerking off. he wanted to read about you doing things till he came. then he was done with you like a cheap hooker. thats all it was. looking for romance or a real world sexual encounter is never smart and almost never works out well. if you want to explore your bi side their are better ways.






better luck next time. maybe i will see you in the lit lounge my sn is bicuriousgeorge69

 

[thehawthorne]

Much like in real life it never hurts to just talk to people in the chatrooms before getting into any cyber. It will help you weed out the guys who are just looking for a quick fix. I've met some guys in chatrooms and shared a great time with them, both talking and cybering.

Best of luck with learning about your bi side. It can be a lot of fun.

 

[RickyRooster]

Wise words from all especially Harrowburg.

'Cyber Sex' in and of itself is no bad thing........................when both parties know and understand that's what it is. For instance it would be churlish of me to object to lewd, crude, smutty, sexy, horny [call them what you will] comments left on any of my threads when I'm posting explicit, erotic photo's of myself.

It's about choosing the right forum. There are plenty of gay/bi chatrooms that are 'normal' for want of a better word. Gay and bisexual people also talk about current affairs, sport, politics [although I would shy away from that lol] etc etc and these are the kind of places where you are likely to get to 'know' someone.

Don't get downhearted. Take it on the chin [no smut intended] and treat it as a case of once bitten twice shy.

Having said that there is no excuse for bad manners. I also say thank you and goodbye after a 'cyber cum'

Take care and I hope you get to chat to people with better manners.

 

[human_male]

Were they the Lit chat rooms? That seems to be the way it goes in there. Cum and run. Either he freaked like you said or once he'd finished he couldn't be bothered. I'm like that myself cept I say thank you and gotta go.

I actually quite like it when they do it to me, makes me feel slutty. I'm like "he's gone. Next."

What I reckon you should do is formulate a friendship with someone, either on the boards or in the Lit Lounge that seems to have a more social kind of feeling instead of lets fuck sort of feeling. A friend that you can have hot chat/cyber whatever you want might suit you better than a stranger that just wants to get off.

But rule number one with any online kind of thing... don't take it personally. I'm a bit down about online relationships at the moment, but it seems to be par for the course.

Rock on.

 

[ezervet]

I have to give a big 'word up' to what everyone's said here. you can make wonderful connections to people, but alot of the time thats just not what they're looking for. i really enjoy just talking to people and maybe going further than that. (frankly, i never did the 'cum and run' thing, once i finish, i like to, uh, cuddle, afterwards. weird? maybe.) probably 2/3 of the time i go into a chat room like lit or whatever, i don't end up doing anything, or at least *I* don't end up cumming. I can get down a little bit sometimes when people leave me hanging like that, or stop talking to me when i thought we'd connected... but you can't let that stick with you, i figure. its the internet, no point in getting all hung up on it.

feel free to PM me, Antonym, we seem to think along the same lines.

 

[antonym]

Thanks to everyone that has replied so far. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me out. If anyone else has anything they'd like to share that would be great too.

It's nice to find somewhere with nice people to talk things through. I also got some interesting PMs as well!

So thanks again. Take care and have fun!

 

[LoboBoy]

Yeah I can share.

I think you got off easy. I have met up with people in my single days from local chat rooms or contact sites and so much of the time they don't look like their pics, or they are just assholes or they are into trying one thing....

like they might talk about meeting for sex...but to them that doesn't include kissing, sucking or a whole night of fun...they just want to know what it's like to be fucked...and then leave incase it makes them too "gay".

Most of the time they are just not up front about that stuff. There are a lot of weirdos out there and the net is the perfect way to cover that up ...so cum and run on screen is a lot less disheartening than the same thing happening in person.

 

[alliekat1]

Thanks to everyone that has replied so far. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me out. If anyone else has anything they'd like to share that would be great too.

It's nice to find somewhere with nice people to talk things through. I also got some interesting PMs as well!

So thanks again. Take care and have fun!

All the above is very good advice and support and I don't have much to add. Just wanted you to know that not everyone on the boards or chat rooms are rat bastards (my term for those who are just plain rude or "cut and run" as someone put it).

Like life, you will met those who are out to satisfy only themselves and to hell with you, those who want to give and receive whether it's pleasure or just chat, and those who are trying to connect. Just be smart, be careful but also have fun.

Take care.

 

[sseg]

cum and run

Some people are only in it for their own gratification. Which is no problem if everyone involved knows and is cool with it. Many people just assume that you know that, which is a little rude, but such is life. I've run into more people who don't care if they're rude than not.

It could be he'd cum and was done, it could be his spouse walked into the room and wanted to know what he was doing, or it could be his computer crashed (in descending order of probability...). If you're looking for more fulfilling experiences, get to know a few folks before you cyber with them. Communities like this are small, so people's reputations get quickly known if they are regulars.

Me, I like playing with people who care to know a little about me other than my physical stats and orientations, but if I was looking for a quickie then that's just wasted time

 

[Shankara20]

The same sort of thing would happen to me in the bathhouses. Guys would walk around building sexual heat for a long time before going for the release. At first it was a shock to be giving a guy a blowjob only to have him just pull away and walk off with out so much as “go to hell”. Not all the guys are like that, but some are. They go from mouth to mouth building their heat before the “big one”. When finely letting go most guys connected to guy with the mouth that just sucked dry their cocks dry, would give a kiss or a hug or a touch to a face as a thank you. But a few just cum and go – not an acknowledgement at all.

One of the wild things about the bathhouses is the lack of voices. I could spend hours playing in a room of 20 to 30 naked men, making contact, passing on a pick-up offer, having hot sex, moving on to someone else, expressing “thank-you” - all without a word being spoken by anyone.

those were good old days.....

 

[hardgrader]

I agree

with much of what has been saif on here--most of the time the internet is a tool for self-gratification for people. They feel like they can't indulge in certain things--especially sex, and especially man on man sex--in their "real" life and what they don't realize is that for some people, their "online" life is part of the "real" life, not an ancillary outlet.

Its tough to tell who is who. I decided a while back not to try and take what happens on boards/chat too seriously (which, admitidly, can be easier said than done).

Good luck...

 

[human_male]

Its tough to tell who is who. I decided a while back not to try and take what happens on boards/chat too seriously (which, admitidly, can be easier said than done).

Good luck...

That's good advice and yeah it's not always easy. I almost stopped posting all together coz I got kind of upset when I'd catch some flak for something or other, as much as I hate to admit it.