The Peep Show....
- Thread starter adidasv40
- Start date
wishfulthinking
Misbehaving
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2003
- Posts
- 1,972
I don't mean to be a cow, but have you thought about approaching a volunteer editor? That way you can get more indepth feedback to help polish it up for submission.
Also, perhaps a blurb when you post it here might attract a few more readers?
Cheers, WT
Also, perhaps a blurb when you post it here might attract a few more readers?
Cheers, WT
dr_mabeuse
seduce the mind
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2002
- Posts
- 11,528
Now that I've read adidasv40's other, more conventional story on the feedback board, I came back to have another look at this one. (I just submitted the past chapter in a novel, so I've got some time to burn) I'd looked at this before, but didn't comment then, because I really didn't know what to make of it. I figured the author was just some quirky writer who'd written a quirky piece and we'd never hear from him again. Now that I've seen what you can do in terms of a more conventional story, I look at this as more of an experiment.
This is a great experiment, but I don't think it's a very good story, and I doubt many readers would stick with it. Again, you've got a prodigious gift for language and image, but it really needs some control and direction. I really can't believe I'm saying this kind of academic BS, but there it is. William Burroughs could pull it off, but here it's just too manic, too self-absorbed.
I'm going to guess that this is a first draft too. It's not that the writing's rough or that there are mechanical errors. It's more that everything just rushes out at once, so it's kind of overwhelming. It's always easy to put more in when you write, and it's always tempting to write more to try and say what you mean. It's a lot harder to cut stuff out: to know when and what to cut, and sometimes that can be downright painful, but that's part of writing too.
---dr.M.
This is a great experiment, but I don't think it's a very good story, and I doubt many readers would stick with it. Again, you've got a prodigious gift for language and image, but it really needs some control and direction. I really can't believe I'm saying this kind of academic BS, but there it is. William Burroughs could pull it off, but here it's just too manic, too self-absorbed.
I'm going to guess that this is a first draft too. It's not that the writing's rough or that there are mechanical errors. It's more that everything just rushes out at once, so it's kind of overwhelming. It's always easy to put more in when you write, and it's always tempting to write more to try and say what you mean. It's a lot harder to cut stuff out: to know when and what to cut, and sometimes that can be downright painful, but that's part of writing too.
---dr.M.
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