the passive voice

[karaline]

I'm working on a new tale, the protagonist is a slave. I seem to be mostly writing about her in the passive voice, it feels right, but it also feels wrong.

Is it ever okay to write in the passive voice?

thanks in advance etc

 

[ElectricBlue]

The writing might come across as a little dull, disengaging.

 

[KeithD]

The writing might come across as a little dull, disengaging.

And sometimes it's that effect the story would be going for at least in a section or with a particular character, so I think the answer to the OP is that it occasionally (if rarely) is effective to use the passive voice--and, thus, OK to do so in those instances.

 

[SamScribble]

Is it ever okay to write in the passive voice?

My opinion is that the passive voice should always be avoided - except where it is used deliberately.

 

[pollyannaowt]

A Ferris Bueller fan fiction with a naked Ben Stein (the economics teacher) tied to a desk and being tormented by the long fingernails of an (18 y/o) student naked but for heels and a leather corset while saying in a passive monotone...

Mistress may I come...
Mistress...
Mistress...
Mistress...

 

[SeabornFare]

I'm working on a new tale, the protagonist is a slave. I seem to be mostly writing about her in the passive voice, it feels right, but it also feels wrong.

Is it ever okay to write in the passive voice?

thanks in advance etc

Write the story that feels most comfortable to you.

I doubt this will be a career defining moment for you, but as an experiment to test the reception of a passive voice character, it may be worth pursuing. This could evolve from a passive voice slave that has no control over their own life, to an active voice rebel who no longer fears their oppressors, and that may very well be your intention.

 

[Handley_Page]

It may depend upon how you describe things (adverbs etc..)

 

[Bramblethorn]

Passive can be problematic, but the advice to get rid of it entirely goes too far.

Passive shifts the emphasis away from "who is doing the thing" to "who the thing is done to". Both the good and bad stem from that.

One of the most infamous examples of passive voice is "mistakes were made", used by several different politicians to avoid talking about who made those mistakes. In that context, it's weasel wording.

OTOH, "the table had been built in France" is usually much better than "some person or persons in France had built the table".

In this case, if you're writing about a slave who experiences various actions done by other people, but you want the spotlight on her and not on the people doing those things, passive is appropriate.

 

[Vix_Giovanni]

Write the story that feels most comfortable to you.

I doubt this will be a career defining moment for you, but as an experiment to test the reception of a passive voice character, it may be worth pursuing. This could evolve from a passive voice slave that has no control over their own life, to an active voice rebel who no longer fears their oppressors, and that may very well be your intention.

Ditto. And I’d repeat/emphasize Seaborne’s point that you’re not “stuck” with any one voice as you develop your story. Try: keep what works and lose what doesn’t.

Best of luck to you!

 

[SimonDoom]

No, it's not necessary to get rid of passive voice in all cases. But sometimes what we think of passive voice isn't really passive voice. Not every use of the verb "to be" is passive voice. "The flower is yellow" is not passive voice.

"The mugger killed Karl" is active voice.

"Karl was killed by the mugger" is passive voice.

Generally, you want to use active voice. The writing usually pops more, and it's more entertaining.

In good writing, authors ask their verbs to do a lot of the heavy lifting. Using active voice forces you as a writer to stay alert and be on the lookout for fun, descriptive, active verbs. It keeps you on your toes. Passive voice tends to be duller.

That's not to say you should NEVER use it, but I agree with Sam Scribble: if you're going to use it, have a reason to use it. Don't just fall into it reflexively.

 

[karaline]

Thank you so much everyone, this has already been incredibly helpful.

SimonDoom I especially like your line

'In good writing, authors ask their verbs to do a lot of the heavy lifting.'

So true.

 

[NotWise]

Passive voice is common in technical and academic writing where it's used to distance the writer from the act. For instance, "It was found that ..." rather than "I found that ..."

I'm not sure what effect you're trying to achieve, but I'd worry that distancing a character from their own story would be odd for the reader.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

Passive voice is common in technical and academic writing where it's used to distance the writer from the act. For instance, "It was found that ..." rather than "I found that ..."

I'm not sure what effect you're trying to achieve, but I'd worry that distancing a character from their own story would be odd for the reader.

Yep. At work, we just upgraded to Windows 10 and MSWord 2016 (like literally a couple of weeks ago). The grammar checker on MSWord was having such a hissy fit about my use of passive voice in my progress notes that I had to root around and figure out how to turn the damn thing off.

 

[Voboy]

Hate passive voice. Hate it.

I used to get yelled at when I used active voice on reports and memos in the army. It’s how I knew I was doing it right.

 

[KeithD]

but I'd worry that distancing a character from their own story would be odd for the reader.

Whoa. A character who shows as distanced from his own story could make for a powerful story theme. And if use of the passive voice helped deliver that . . .

My mind's already churning away at a story idea where the protagonist doesn't understand or appreciate the erotic effect he has on others, with the effect of events floating over his head altogether.

 

[NotWise]

Whoa. A character who shows as distanced from his own story could make for a powerful story theme. And if use of the passive voice helped deliver that . . .

My mind's already churning away at a story idea where the protagonist doesn't understand or appreciate the erotic effect he has on others, with the effect of events floating over his head altogether.

I agree completely that it could be used, but I think from the reader's perspective the character might seem psychotic. But then, if that's what you want ...

 

[eroticstoryspinner]

I'm working on a new tale, the protagonist is a slave. I seem to be mostly writing about her in the passive voice, it feels right, but it also feels wrong.

Is it ever okay to write in the passive voice?

thanks in advance etc

Just because your protagonist is a slave does not necessarily mean you use passive voice. I could perhaps see it if the character is completely broken, but you might not have much room for conflict or tension.

In dialogue, I sometimes have slaves speak of themselves in the 3rd person, "May this slave speak, " for example.

It really depends on what you are trying to do.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

I'm working on a new tale, the protagonist is a slave. I seem to be mostly writing about her in the passive voice, it feels right, but it also feels wrong.

Is it ever okay to write in the passive voice?

thanks in advance etc

Right now, the most important thing is getting the story down. Whether you write in passive voice or not is irrelevant at this point. If you get so hung up on the little things, you'll never get it all out, and then all you'll have is the memory of a missed storytelling opportunity. Find yourself a beta, buy a Grammarly subscription, and take care of all the nitty-gritty after you finish your first draft.

ETA: All this to say: in general, no, you shouldn't write a creative piece in the passive voice.

 

[SimonDoom]

The key word in the OP's original post is the word "ever." Anytime someone asks, in a question about writing fiction, "Is it ever OK. . . ?" the answer almost always is "Yes, in the right circumstances." Sometimes it's fine to use passive voice, because it may have a desirable effect in the context of the story, as, for example, when you want to emphasize the object, not the subject, of the sentence. But in general it's better to use active voice.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

The key word in the OP's original post is the word "ever." Anytime someone asks, in a question about writing fiction, "Is it ever OK. . . ?" the answer almost always is "Yes, in the right circumstances." Sometimes it's fine to use passive voice, because it may have a desirable effect in the context of the story, as, for example, when you want to emphasize the object, not the subject, of the sentence. But in general it's better to use active voice.

This.