The other woman

[carini]

I'm having a horrible delema lately.. seems like whenever i meet a guy he's either married or engaged or dating.. WHERE ARE ALL THE SINGLE MEN! LOL

anyway i recently found myself being the other woman to a guy my friend works with and no i am torn becuase i feel bad cause he is cheating on her.. but the sex is good ad she is cheating on him too.. so basically i ask...

is my being with him bad since we know she;s cheaking on him to?

 

[Cheyenne]

Two wrongs still don't make a right, much as I'd like to think the equation works that way sometimes.

 

[FeatherLight]

Not necessarily "bad" but "not right."

Cheyenne's right. Two wrongs don't make a right. And although it's wrong for her to be cheating on him, putting yourself in the position of being the "other woman" is not a place you want to be.

Save yourself the heartache and trouble, Carini. *hugs*

 

[carini]

i don;t forsee any real heartache though cause it's just all about sex... heck i can barely stand him as a person but he's amazing in bed

 

[FeatherLight]

But still. Which would you rather have? Spend some time finding a single guy? Or wind up with this guy's lady pounding on your door, or calling you to scream? Of course, she'd be wrong in doing it, being as she was cheating also, but she still might.

Personally, I just don't see why you would want to put yourself in that situation.

 

[carini]

Well A. he;s the first guy who has wanted me in a long itme and B. i just worry i'll never find anyone and i guess as long as i get laid on a regular basis i feel special

 

[GuyJD]

BEEN THERE---DONE THAT---GOT A LOUSY T-SHIRT

Speaking as a former adulterous, I would say as the Romans say...AN EYE FOR AN EYE. If she's cheating on him and he on her, the marriage has been over a long time ago.

 

[ShyGuy68]

WHERE ARE ALL THE SINGLE MEN!

*Raises hand* Right here carini!!!

 

[FeatherLight]

True, Guy, but maybe Carini should wait until the relationship IS over.

And Carini? Hon, you should never feel that you aren't special just because you don't have a man. It sounds strange, but the more you think of yourself as "I'll never find someone" the more guys stay away. If you just relax, and be happy being single, they'll come around. Patience, hon. Sounds tough, I know, but you have to keep looking at the bright side.

*turns on light* I'll give you some of mine. *g*

 

[carini]

i tried that... and guys just became my friend.
I swear guys just don;t want big girls

 

[FeatherLight]

Lots of relationships start off with friendship.

And if the guys still aren't taking your gifts for what they are, then fuck them. Figuritively that is. *g* There IS someone out there for you Carini. There's someone for everyone. You just have to be patient enough to let it happen. Don't try so hard.

Love the friendships you have, deepen them, and explore them. That's how I got the guy I do now.

I used to think there was absolutely no one for me, too. I tried SO HARD to get dates. I had friends set me up with losers, I would walk up to guys to get their attention. I would do anything I possibly could to make them look at me. Unforunately, when they looked, they only saw desperation. Finally, I gave up. I just thought "forget them if they don't like who I am. THey're not worth it."

I began to spend a lot of my time with my friends, worked on my writing, practiced my dancing, and things like that. Suddenly, out of the blue, my current boyf just walked up to me in the middle of a rehearsal (we're in the same dance company/group). He asked me out for coffee right then and there. It's almost three months now.

I can't say this enough hon, and I don't mean to sound preachy or overbearing, or smothering for that matter. Just have patience hon. It'll come.

 

[carini]

i hope so =(
but sometime i feel it never will

 

[FeatherLight]

{{{{{{{Carini}}}}}}}

It will! *g* Until then, there's always your Lit buddies to cheer you up. *raises hand* count me in. Anything I can do to make you happy... your wish is my command.