The only empty bed space

[sirhugs]

The family cottage is a popular spot to invite visitors.

Except Grandpa owns it, and still occupies the queen bed he shared with his deceased wife.

Eventually, all the other sleeping spaces are filled and one of the kids or adult grandkids wants to invite another friend. To which someone says "the only bed space is the empty half of Grandpa's bed."

Hilarity ensues.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I though the dead grandma was in that space? Or did I read the premise incorrectly?

 

[sirhugs]

I though the dead grandma was in that space? Or did I read the premise incorrectly?

dead grandma previously occupied the space, thus Grandpa's desire for a fresh bed warmer.

 

[Carnevil9]

dead grandma previously occupied the space, thus Grandpa's desire for a fresh bed warmer.

Yeah, because grandma's bones have got to be cold by now.

 

[Hypoxia]

Eventually, all the other sleeping spaces are filled and one of the kids or adult grandkids wants to invite another friend. To which someone says "the only bed space is the empty half of Grandpa's bed."

Is the invited 'friend' a human or other primate? Has Gramps ever dreamt of rang-tang love? Now is the time!

 

[sirhugs]

Is the invited 'friend' a human or other primate? Has Gramps ever dreamt of rang-tang love? Now is the time!

perhaps a tentacle monster?

 

[Hypoxia]

perhaps a tentacle monster?

Then Gramps' bed would get soggy. No, it's rang-tangs all the way down.

 

[Carnevil9]

Then Gramps' bed would get soggy. No, it's rang-tangs all the way down.

Get your stinking dick out of me you damn dirty ape!!!

 

[Hypoxia]

Get your stinking dick out of me you damn dirty ape!!!

Female rang-tangs only. Nothing queer about Grandpa, eh?

 

[sirhugs]

Female rang-tangs only. Nothing queer about Grandpa, eh?

isn't he the one who said "as long as it is wearing a dress?"

 

[Carnevil9]

isn't he the one who said "as long as it is wearing a dress?"

Shemale Rang-tangs. The best of all worlds.

 

[Hypoxia]

Shemale Rang-tangs. The best of all worlds.

I'm not sure those have been documented. Anyway, the anecdote:

Two old Brit vets of the Raj are back home in Blighty, sipping drinks and swapping memories at their London club.

Colonel Willoughby says, "Remember old Smedley? Ran off with a rang-tang, I heard. Lives off in the jungle now."

Colonel Frothingham, taken aback, says, "My lord! A female rang-tang, I hope."

Colonel Willoughby replies, "Of course. Nothing queer about old Smedley."
_____

Back to the empty spot in Grandpa's bed and a houseful of human guests. One brave visiting relative volunteers to climb up to Grandpa's room. She finds him standing by his bed wearing only a tartan kilt.

"What's under the kilt, Grandpa?" she asks.
"Have a feel and find out, lass," he grumbles.
She reaches under the kilt. "Ooh, it's gruesome!"
She continues feeling around. "Ooh, it's grew some more!"

The usual ensues because 1) she's over 18 and 2) this is LIT.

 

[sirhugs]

I'm not sure those have been documented. Anyway, the anecdote:

Two old Brit vets of the Raj are back home in Blighty, sipping drinks and swapping memories at their London club.

Colonel Willoughby says, "Remember old Smedley? Ran off with a rang-tang, I heard. Lives off in the jungle now."

Colonel Frothingham, taken aback, says, "My lord! A female rang-tang, I hope."

Colonel Willoughby replies, "Of course. Nothing queer about old Smedley."
_____

Back to the empty spot in Grandpa's bed and a houseful of human guests. One brave visiting relative volunteers to climb up to Grandpa's room. She finds him standing by his bed wearing only a tartan kilt.

"What's under the kilt, Grandpa?" she asks.
"Have a feel and find out, lass," he grumbles.
She reaches under the kilt. "Ooh, it's gruesome!"
She continues feeling around. "Ooh, it's grew some more!"

The usual ensues because 1) she's over 18 and 2) this is LIT.

and then she learns to play the bagpipes.