CarolineOh
Newbie Phase Two
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2002
- Posts
- 4,762
There's never a bad time for this reminder.
Thanks to WriterDom, who originally posted it:
The Online Predator
Author Unknown
The following is a composite profile of an Online Predator. This profile was compiled by a number of submissive women for the use of submissive women. It is written from the perspective of a submissive female whose nature requires her to respond to a dominant male.
The Online Predator
1) Definition:
The Online Predator is one who uses the mechanisms of cyber space to hunt human beings with the intent to exploit, rob, plunder and pillage their body,mind, heart and soul.
2) Characteristics of a Predator:
1. Liar: ( Self explanatory )
2. Deceiver: His self situation is presented as other than what it is.
3. Betrayer: He is likely to break trust.
4. Insecure: He is worried that others will be faithless.
5. Inconsistent: He will say one thing while doing another.
6. Lacking Honor: Usually while protesting that he has honor.
7. Lack of Respect: He will tend to denigrate others.
8. Transient: He is unlikely to have many long term friends.
9. Manipulator: He calculates and contrives for his own benefit to the detriment of his partner.
10. Secretive: He will tend to cloak himself and his activities.
11. Charming: If he could not steal your breath away, he would not be a successful hunter.
12. Selective: He will pick victims carefully, looking for weaknesses and filling those voids completely.
13. Chameleon: He will appear to fit any need perfectly and adapt to fill any desire.
14. Lacking in Self Control: Although at times, he may have extraordinary self control and discipline.
A predator probably exhibits these characteristics in all aspects of his life. It may be that the only place the predator seems to have honor and value Truth is in the Relationship he is developing with his victim. When developing a new relationship, a submissive should make a conscious effort to observe her partnerâs interaction with others, not just how he interacts with her. The predator may well reveal his true self through his interactions.
But, the submissive may only see this revelation if she is committed to taking every precaution for her own safety.
3) Predator Warning Signals:
While any of these phrases or actions may be acceptable in a given context, pay close attention when seeing or hearing them. Phrases:
1. Do not tell .
2. ( ) is crazy ! ( or psycho, sick, a liar, or out to get me )
3. It would be best if you no longer spoke to .
4. I do not need to defend myself against lies.
5. They are just jealous ( of me, of us, of what we have, that you have me ).
Actions:
1. May seldom be in the D/s chat rooms. Operates from other areas or private rooms.
2. Has personal information which is incomplete or not verifiable.
3. Becomes defensive or angry when questioned.
4. Questions the sincerity of the submissive when questioned.
5. He will usually discourage or forbid the practice of reference checks.
6. He will usually discourage or forbid the use of Safe Calls.
4) The Submissives Personal Warning Signals:
These are items that a submissive should pay attention to if she is saying them to herself or hearing them from others.
1. I feel he is just too good to be true.
2. You are hearing consistent warnings from more that one person.
3. Your instincts are whispering something is not right about this person.
5) Summary:
The final best defense any submissive has against an Online Predator is her own common sense and judgment. The submissive should always remember that desires, needs, and the heat of the moment can combine to drown that judgment. Always take a moment to step back, take a deep breath and look at a
potential partner with common sense and not with passion
What is a "Red Flag"?
A "Red Flag" is any indication that you should steer clear of a particular person, either Dom/me or sub. These can pop up at any time, though most often in the beginning of a potential relationship. They can be obvious or they can be subtle.
Some common examples might be:
1) Inappropriate questions or comments during the initial conversations, such as do you want to play? or what are you wearing? or what do you look like? or asking for your phone number immediately, etc. Such questions have nothing at
all to do with D/s, but rather indicate the person is looking for cyber or phone sex.
2) Moving too quickly: if the prospective Dom/me or sub seems to be in a hurry to begin a relationship, or to advance it faster than seems reasonable or comfortable for you. Like if they want to meet you within the first 10 minutes online. Trust is the cornerstone. and cannot be rushed. Clearly, there is no arbitrary time frame, but most long-lasting relationships take
several weeks if not months to build before actual contact.
3) Inappropriate attitude: "bow down and worship me" those who act as if every submissive must obey every so-called Dom, and begin giving or obeying orders from the word go. Or those who have the idea that each and every Tom, Dick, and Harry must be addressed as Sir, whether they know them or not. Many
subs in the chat rooms do this, but respect is worth little if it is so
lightly given. Both of these attitudes and practices show a poor
understanding of the true dynamics of Dominance and submission.
4) Safety violations: reluctance to have a safeword or other safety precautions in place, either during the first meeting or later. Run.
5) Lack of communication: if your potential partner is reluctant to discuss something with you, pay attention. Likewise, and equally serious, if you are told directly or indirectly, that you may not discuss something with others,or may not talk to someone else, or may not go to a particular area, be careful. Trying to "gag" someone is a sign that something is wrong.
6) A persistent bad reputation: or unwillingness to give references. This can be tricky if the person you are talking to is new online, but it is still a red flag. Or perhaps a yellow one.
7) Trashing ex-partners. When someone is constantly talking about their ex publicly in the chat rooms and on bb's, i.e., trying to ruin their rep, try to keep in mind that you might be their "ex" someday and be subjected to such treatment if things do not go the way they want. This is something that both
Dom/mes and subs are frequently guilty of. Warning others of potential danger from an ex-partner is obviously a different case.
8) Frequent inconsistencies. If someone often makes contradictory statements from one day to the next, like Mon. tells you s/he has no children, then on Fri., mentions his/her son's birthday or something. If a person often seems to have a lot of trouble remembering what they have said to you from one day to the next, it could be that they are telling a lot of people a lot of different things. Just in general, I would encourage anyone to really try to get to know someone before making a final judgment on their character.However, caution and common sense should always rule. If you have doubts, do not give out personal information. You can still talk to this person, but be
careful.
And please, trust that GUT INSTINCT.
Thanks to WriterDom, who originally posted it:
The Online Predator
Author Unknown
The following is a composite profile of an Online Predator. This profile was compiled by a number of submissive women for the use of submissive women. It is written from the perspective of a submissive female whose nature requires her to respond to a dominant male.
The Online Predator
1) Definition:
The Online Predator is one who uses the mechanisms of cyber space to hunt human beings with the intent to exploit, rob, plunder and pillage their body,mind, heart and soul.
2) Characteristics of a Predator:
1. Liar: ( Self explanatory )
2. Deceiver: His self situation is presented as other than what it is.
3. Betrayer: He is likely to break trust.
4. Insecure: He is worried that others will be faithless.
5. Inconsistent: He will say one thing while doing another.
6. Lacking Honor: Usually while protesting that he has honor.
7. Lack of Respect: He will tend to denigrate others.
8. Transient: He is unlikely to have many long term friends.
9. Manipulator: He calculates and contrives for his own benefit to the detriment of his partner.
10. Secretive: He will tend to cloak himself and his activities.
11. Charming: If he could not steal your breath away, he would not be a successful hunter.
12. Selective: He will pick victims carefully, looking for weaknesses and filling those voids completely.
13. Chameleon: He will appear to fit any need perfectly and adapt to fill any desire.
14. Lacking in Self Control: Although at times, he may have extraordinary self control and discipline.
A predator probably exhibits these characteristics in all aspects of his life. It may be that the only place the predator seems to have honor and value Truth is in the Relationship he is developing with his victim. When developing a new relationship, a submissive should make a conscious effort to observe her partnerâs interaction with others, not just how he interacts with her. The predator may well reveal his true self through his interactions.
But, the submissive may only see this revelation if she is committed to taking every precaution for her own safety.
3) Predator Warning Signals:
While any of these phrases or actions may be acceptable in a given context, pay close attention when seeing or hearing them. Phrases:
1. Do not tell .
2. ( ) is crazy ! ( or psycho, sick, a liar, or out to get me )
3. It would be best if you no longer spoke to .
4. I do not need to defend myself against lies.
5. They are just jealous ( of me, of us, of what we have, that you have me ).
Actions:
1. May seldom be in the D/s chat rooms. Operates from other areas or private rooms.
2. Has personal information which is incomplete or not verifiable.
3. Becomes defensive or angry when questioned.
4. Questions the sincerity of the submissive when questioned.
5. He will usually discourage or forbid the practice of reference checks.
6. He will usually discourage or forbid the use of Safe Calls.
4) The Submissives Personal Warning Signals:
These are items that a submissive should pay attention to if she is saying them to herself or hearing them from others.
1. I feel he is just too good to be true.
2. You are hearing consistent warnings from more that one person.
3. Your instincts are whispering something is not right about this person.
5) Summary:
The final best defense any submissive has against an Online Predator is her own common sense and judgment. The submissive should always remember that desires, needs, and the heat of the moment can combine to drown that judgment. Always take a moment to step back, take a deep breath and look at a
potential partner with common sense and not with passion
What is a "Red Flag"?
A "Red Flag" is any indication that you should steer clear of a particular person, either Dom/me or sub. These can pop up at any time, though most often in the beginning of a potential relationship. They can be obvious or they can be subtle.
Some common examples might be:
1) Inappropriate questions or comments during the initial conversations, such as do you want to play? or what are you wearing? or what do you look like? or asking for your phone number immediately, etc. Such questions have nothing at
all to do with D/s, but rather indicate the person is looking for cyber or phone sex.
2) Moving too quickly: if the prospective Dom/me or sub seems to be in a hurry to begin a relationship, or to advance it faster than seems reasonable or comfortable for you. Like if they want to meet you within the first 10 minutes online. Trust is the cornerstone. and cannot be rushed. Clearly, there is no arbitrary time frame, but most long-lasting relationships take
several weeks if not months to build before actual contact.
3) Inappropriate attitude: "bow down and worship me" those who act as if every submissive must obey every so-called Dom, and begin giving or obeying orders from the word go. Or those who have the idea that each and every Tom, Dick, and Harry must be addressed as Sir, whether they know them or not. Many
subs in the chat rooms do this, but respect is worth little if it is so
lightly given. Both of these attitudes and practices show a poor
understanding of the true dynamics of Dominance and submission.
4) Safety violations: reluctance to have a safeword or other safety precautions in place, either during the first meeting or later. Run.
5) Lack of communication: if your potential partner is reluctant to discuss something with you, pay attention. Likewise, and equally serious, if you are told directly or indirectly, that you may not discuss something with others,or may not talk to someone else, or may not go to a particular area, be careful. Trying to "gag" someone is a sign that something is wrong.
6) A persistent bad reputation: or unwillingness to give references. This can be tricky if the person you are talking to is new online, but it is still a red flag. Or perhaps a yellow one.
7) Trashing ex-partners. When someone is constantly talking about their ex publicly in the chat rooms and on bb's, i.e., trying to ruin their rep, try to keep in mind that you might be their "ex" someday and be subjected to such treatment if things do not go the way they want. This is something that both
Dom/mes and subs are frequently guilty of. Warning others of potential danger from an ex-partner is obviously a different case.
8) Frequent inconsistencies. If someone often makes contradictory statements from one day to the next, like Mon. tells you s/he has no children, then on Fri., mentions his/her son's birthday or something. If a person often seems to have a lot of trouble remembering what they have said to you from one day to the next, it could be that they are telling a lot of people a lot of different things. Just in general, I would encourage anyone to really try to get to know someone before making a final judgment on their character.However, caution and common sense should always rule. If you have doubts, do not give out personal information. You can still talk to this person, but be
careful.
And please, trust that GUT INSTINCT.
